40-12-17 A Bijou Lifetime Pass

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Rush has the opportunity to buy a lifetime pass to the Bijou theater. But will Sade allow him to spend money from his savings account to buy it?

MIS' CROWE SAYS:

Rush has a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity.

What I like about this one is how Rush seems to have absolutely no ambition to move out of his small town or change his lifestyle at all, as he calculates that he will continue to go to the Bijou twice a week for the rest of his adult life. These days, everyone who grows up in a small town generates grand plans for fleeing it at about Rush’s age, so it’s refreshing to encounter someone who means to stay put. Rush also has no way of predicting the rise of television in the next fifty years and the movie theater’s slow slide into obsolescence. Of course, if the Bijou manages to stay in business, the concurrent inflation in the price of movie tickets will make his lifetime pass even more profitable.

The thing is, the uncertainty of the future aside, Rush’s pitch is pretty good! The pass will pay for itself in two years. Surely his theater-going habits won’t change that much in the next two years. Rush could agree to put twenty-five cents in a jar to go back into his bank account every time he goes to the movies and by the end of the two years, he’d have an extra two bucks to go into his college fund. His pitch would have worked on me, is all I’m saying.

Then again, it does sound a little too good to be true. Perhaps Sade suspects Leland Richards of being a snake oil salesman? 

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

___________________

Intermingled with Rush pleading his case so that he can buy the pass, is talk of baboons - yes, baboons.

Sade isn't very educated but she is by no means dumb. Whenever Vic or Rush are up to something, her instinct tells her something is up. As time goes on through the series, Rush seems to become more and more like Vic. When Sade inquires about whatever they are up to, they both act nearly the same.

Trivia:
+ A D. Hoggell is the custodian of the Zoo.

+ Rush mentions he has a new 3rd Lieutenant Stanley book he got from Russell Duncan but he doesn't give the title, nor does he read from it.

+ Leland Richards' Uncle Hartley gave him the lifetime Bijou pass, as he is an electrician and was doing work for the theater and part of the payment was the pass. This was the first mention of Uncle Hartley.

+ Rush and Sade argue a bit about the $50. Listen carefully and you will hear Sade say, "You have as much chance drawing a big chunk of money out of that bank as you have of sending your underwear to Detroit, Michigan parcel post."

{{{HEAR}}}

Sade's first reaction to Rush spending $50: {{{HEAR}}}

Hear the Vic and Sadecast about this episode


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40-11-19 Brick Mush Man Caught in Revolving Door

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Rush: Well... ay, oh, yick, eee, ur, ih, ur, ih, snort, yeee, urrrr!

Rush comes home with big news. An untied shoestring leads to the Brick Mush Man getting his head caught in Yamilton's revolving door! He is in the hospital three days with a deep scalp wound!

Stuck right in the middle of this exciting story, Sade tries to interest Vic and Rush in a post card from her sister, Bess. {{{HEAR}}}

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
The Brick Mush Man has suffered a freak revolving door injury and is in the hospital.

I always thought that this was one of the most ridiculous episodes of them all, but would you believe that revolving door injuries are actually a serious issue? In fact…

In March of this year (2014), Edinburgh College’s revolving doors came under scrutiny when students declined to use them because they felt unsafe. One student at the college endured broken bones when her face and arm were caught in the manually revolving door.

Someone actually went to work and DID get her face caught in a revolving door! Life imitates art again. I imagine this is why you don’t see so many revolving doors anymore. The things are a menace.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________________

One of the most interesting episodes and quite funny.  Sade has no chance interesting the boys in Bess' boring post card.

How badly was the Brick Mush man hurt? {{{HEAR}}}

Trivia:

+ The afternoon meat is not done (we can assume this was beef punkles.)

+ Sade refers to her sister in this episode as "Bessie."

+ P. Z. Greech was mentioned for the first time. He's from Davenport, Iowa and an acquaintance of Vic .

+ In the post card from Bess, she asks if Uncle Fletcher is settled and if he likes his new surroundings. It makes sense since Uncle Fletcher just recently moved to the town the Gooks live in.

+ Rush claims that Russell Duncan does a better imitation of a guy getting his head caught in a revolving door than he does. And that of course, sounds like this (edited): {{{HEAR}}}
 
Blue Tooth is crazy! {{{HEAR}}}

+ Rush and Blue Tooth Johnson plan on taking advantage of all the free food the Brick Mush Man will have in the hospital: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Much like head injuries, barbers and cornets, shoe strings seem to show up everywhere in the series. They were the culprit of the accident.

Hear the Vic and Sadecast about this episode

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40-10-xx Shake Hands With R.J. Konk

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic has received a letter from lodge headquarters inviting him to be in a composite photograph with R.J. Konk. This of course, sets off Sade as she believes the lodge is just out for Vic's money.

_____________________

Ish! Another money scheme by the lodge or something valuable for Vic? Either way, Vic will probably get the portrait done and it will be displayed proudly on the Gook buffet.

Trivia:

+ Rush begins the episode by reading from a Third Lieutenant Stanley story book. The story this time is about "counterfeiting natives" and "counterfeiting fisherman." See the Third  Lieutenant Stanley section for more.

+ According to Vic, R.J. Konk died in 1920.

+ Rush once again tries to tell the Uncle Strap story about escorting his lady friend to Peoria for the purposes of enjoying a fish dinner.

+ The composite photo will cost Vic $10.

Rush boils it all down: {{{HEAR}}}

Here's what Sade thinks about the whole thing (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

Hear the Vic and Sadecast for this episode

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40-10-27 Hot Soup

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade tells Mis' Brighton about Vic, who has a very mild case of the sniffles. As the day goes on, Mis' Brighton has told others and others have told others and before the Gooks realize it, the neighbors have inundated the Gooks with three telephone calls and three bowls of hot soup for Vic, who is feeling fine.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic is coming down with a cold, or that’s the news that has spread around town, anyway.

I’ve written previously about the theory of “Vic and Sade” as the original “show about nothing,” and I think this episode is particularly Seinfeld-esque. Humor in both “Vic and Sade” and “Seinfeld” is based largely on the quirks of human behavior. “Seinfeld” takes place in urban New York, a setting known for behavior that some people might think of as rude, so a lot of “Seinfeld” plots revolve around the characters’ terrible behavior or their obsessions with some perceived slight. “Vic and Sade,” by contrast, takes place in a small town in the Midwest, a place known for what some might consider to be excessive politeness that borders on passive aggression, so a lot of “Vic and Sade” plots revolve around this other side of human interaction. Whereas Seinfeld’s New York City might be characterized by a lack of human connection, leading to selfish and callous behavior, Vic and Sade’s small town is characterized by too much connection and too little privacy. In short, the two shows have similar philosophies of humor, but different settings: in one environment, we get “no soup for you,” and in the other we get a rain of unwanted soup, but both cause the main characters considerable distress.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

______________

Trivia:

+ Myrtle Guller had not been mentioned before this episode. Her husband can't read or write.

Click image to ensue pseudo-hilarity

+ Mis' Beamon was mentioned for the first time. She lives on West Elm Street. She informed Ruthie Stembottom that Vic was ill.

+ Mis' Hettles called the Gooks to ask about Vic's health.

+ Mis' Oglethorpe was mentioned for the first time. She informed Mis' Trogle that Vic was ill.

+ Russell Duncan was mentioned for the first time in the surviving audio. He is a friend of Rush and Rush was anticipating a phone call from him.

Vic jokes about being ill: {{{HEAR}}}

Hear the Vic and Sadecast about this episode

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40-09-xx Mr. Sludge Grows a Mustache

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Mr. Sludge has been up all night with a toothache and his landlord, Mis’ Harris is cleaning the house; therefore Mr. Sludge is having a nice afternoon nap on the Gook sofa.

Vic and Rush are in high spirits and Rush draws a mustache on poor Mr. Sludge. Can he do it without being reprimanded by Sade? Can he blame Vic and vice-versa?

MIS' CROWE SAYS:

Up to no good...

Mr. Sludge is sleeping on the Gooks’ davenport. This brings out an impish streak in Vic and Rush.

All “Vic and Sade” is at least a little funny because it’s “Vic and Sade,” but this one is straight comedy. It’s carefully-constructed and well-timed with lots of jokes, and I think it’s one of the funniest episodes in the whole series. You can tell that Vic is in a mood to cause some mischief from the moment he walks in the door. Rush gamely follows his lead, and it keeps escalating toward the inevitable finish. All I can say is Mr. Sludge must be one heavy sleeper.

I would like to note that it appears from the opening lines of this episode that Leland Richards is courting Anabel Hemstreet now. Rush seems fine with that, in spite of the fact that they have a bit of a history. I guess they were just friends all this time after all. That, or Anabel decided to give up on Rush when he couldn’t pick up any of the hint anvils she was dropping.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

_______________

This is a terrific episode with excellent sound quality. Mr. Sludge seems to be the boy's favorite patsy. Rush doesn't even really need to be prodded very hard to do the dirty deed.

My favorite parts of the episode is hearing Vic and Rush talk at the same time to Sade.

Hear 'Shambles Constant' talk about this episode:  (((hear)))

Trivia:

+ Rush refers to Leland Richards as being "kind-hearted."

+ Vic does an imitation of Uncle Fletcher before we ever get a chance to hear the real Uncle Fletcher! While Vic doesn’t sound like Fletcher, he does say the same things Uncle Fletcher would say: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Rush almost got in a fight with Nicer Scott at school as Nicer stepped on Rush’s heel while he was using the water fountain.

+ Rush has to bring his copy of “Lady of the Lake” to school.

+ Rush’s Physiology teacher at school is Mis’ Shay.

+ Rush learned the following things about sleeping persons in physiology (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

+ Rush refers to Vic as being a "punk ventriloquist."

+ Totally busted - yet innocent (edited): (((HEAR)))

+ Vic describes Mr. Sludge sleeping: (((HEAR)))

Hear the Vic and Sadecast about this episode
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40-08-14 Bacon Sandwiches

STARRING: BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Just Sade and Rush are home and the weather is nice; they sit on the porch swing and gossip about the passersby.

Eventually, the subject gets around to pigs - and Rush tells a story about Rooster Davis and his ridiculous idea for a restaurant.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Rooster Davis has a restaurant idea. A…rather…upsetting restaurant idea.

This is it — the legendary “Bacon Sandwiches” episode. There are a lot of “Vic and Sade” scripts that are as weird and dark as this one, but this one has achieved a certain notoriety because it’s one of the recordings that wound up on tons of “Vic and Sade” LPs and “Best of Old Time Radio” compilations. Although there’s no Vic in this episode, it’s a good choice for an introductory episode of “Vic and Sade.” It’s an excellent example of Paul Rhymer’s sense of humor and of the dissonant combination of warmth and horror that the show is capable of evoking. In this episode, even Sade is horrified by the central idea and wants no part of it — when Rush finally works his way to the point of the story, she cuts him off with an emphatic “Ish!” and he is allowed to go no further.

Most Americans don’t like to think about where their meat comes from. Of course, we’re aware of it, but we don’t like to know about the specifics. In fact, some meat producers are intent on passing laws that ensure we can’t know about the specifics. Americans prefer their meat to come in neat little packages that resemble the animal as little as possible. Some Americans do, that is. Growing local food movements such as farm-to-table seek to counteract this ignorance, encouraging consumers to be aware of the animals and see the conditions under which they are raised. If I wanted to, I could visit a local farm, pick out a heritage-breed pig, look it in the eye as it foraged for acorns in the forest, and pay it my best wishes before it was turned into my Christmas ham. In New York City, there are live meat markets where you can choose your animal, have it slaughtered on the spot, and even watch the slaughtering process if you want to. But it’s hard to source your meat more locally than “out in back of the restaurant.” I’m beginning to wonder if an idea like Rooster’s is the next step in carnivorous hipster dining. “HELP WANTED: New Brooklyn restaurant seeks trained nurse.” Watch out for it, everyone.

Check out the curious echo of this episode I noticed in “Sawbones,” a medical history podcast I enjoy, in which a conversation about pig skin used for human skin grafts leads to the discussion of “bacon stripped from the living pig as he squeals in agony and yet is preserved through witchcraft.” 74 years later, this is still an abhorrent idea. As I’ve observed before, Paul Rhymer was ghoulish ahead of his time.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________________

Rush talks about the dark side of swine: {{{HEAR}}}

____________________________________

INSIGHT FROM GARRY MOTTER

It reminds me of the paradoxical Ship of Theseus, which had every one of its parts replaced, one at a time.
 
Is it really just one pig?  The same pig?
 
Actually, there is a lot of surreal humor in V&S; I don't think this episode is more bizarre than, say, R.J. Konk's Improved Portrait.
 
I wonder if Rhymer got a lot of mail complaining that the Gooks seldom let each other finish a thought, and decided to make a skit about that. -- Garry Motter

____________________________________

MIS' CROWE SAYS (Part II):

The most bizarre (and hilarious) episode for me would have to be "Robert and Slobert Call Long-Distance," but "Bacon Sandwiches" is right up there! It is usually one of the first episodes I recommend to people new to the show because I think it is a pretty good example of Paul Rhymer's sense of humor and of how ahead-of-its-time the show could feel. I think the slow exposition of the bacon sandwich scheme (the payoff is delayed by countless interruptions by Sade) is what makes it especially horrific, plus the story being framed in this cozy Norman Rockwellian scene of a boy and his mom sitting on the front porch watching the neighbors go by. It's like a combination of a horror story and a joke. And if you're vegetarian or eat kosher, it's a really good way to get rid of a craving for bacon! -- Lydia Crowe  
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40-07-23 Sade Shows Razorscum Album (The Oblong Heads)

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 

Sade (to Rush): All you have to do is look at velvet to make smudges!

Sade thinks it will be fun looking at the Razorscum family album. The album turns into a bit of a freak show as each page has oddities such as Cousin Dunk who has no neck, a really tall horse and of course there is the cousin who visits as Christmas time with the oblong head.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Sade guides Vic and Rush through a photograph album of the Razorscum family.

There are some “Vic and Sade” episodes that are characterized by a single hilarious turn of phrase that recurs throughout the script. This is one of those episodes. All you have to do is say “oblong head” and I smile. There’s the funniness of the phrase “oblong head” in itself, and then there’s the funniness of the oblong heads being the single characteristic upon which Sade focuses the most of her attention as she shows this photo album. Paul Rhymer was well aware when he had created a gem like “oblong head,” and frequently, a joke or phrase like this one functions as a major composition element in Rhymer’s script. He doesn’t hammer away at his good joke until it’s not funny anymore, like some comedy writers might (ahem, Saturday Night Live), but parcels it out carefully like a comedic refrain, introducing it, leaving it, and then bringing it back only when we’ve almost forgotten about it.

“Oblong head” is introduced almost immediately at the beginning of the script, then forgotten until almost halfway through, when Rhymer doubles down on it. We get a couple more “oblong heads” after this, but he doesn’t dwell on it. Then there’s another major pocket of “oblong head” after the halfway point — close to the golden mean of the show, or about 61% through. Note that the climaxes of songs also tend to occur in the golden mean. (All right, this is really more like 80% of the way through the episode, but let me have my moment.) Then, no more “oblong heads” until the very end — in fact, “oblong head” are the final two words of the script.

 SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________________

A very funny episode.  There are lots of little crazy details in this one about the Razorscum family.

Vic is smart-alecky: {{{HEAR}}}

Trivia:

+ Kennedy was mentioned.  He was a tailor in East Orange, N.J. that made Charlie Razorscum's wedding suit in 1922.  He made a suit for a fellow once in E. Orange, N.J. that got hung for murder and he wanted to look nice at his execution; the state hired Kennedy to take measurements and fix him up with a handsome suit complete with  bell-bottom pants and a pinched-back coat with silk lining and smart patch pockets. [Richard E. Hunton compiled this bit.]

+ Charlie Razorscum wore the most-expensive suit worn by anybody in Harriet, Wisconsin in 1922 - the year he got married.

+ According to Sade, one Razorscum relation - that has been dead for many years - had a head so oblong it was almost shaped like a banana!

+ Sade says Mis' Razorscum is so colorblind, she confuses the white keys with the black keys on the piano!

+ One Razorscum relation, Eldred Bryson, shot a lion...at the zoo!

Vic doesn't really want to see the Razorscum album: {{{HEAR}}}

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40-07-22 Mr. Donahue Asks for Demotion

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade, the bubbling gossiper, has news to share with Vic and Rush. Mr. Donahue has asked for a demotion back to being an "ordinary engineer." 

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Mr. Donahue’s fancy new job as traveling inspector of locomotives isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, it turns out.

Climbing the ladder sounds great, and it’s part of the American dream to rise above your initial station in life, but it’s not always as easy as it sounds to make that change. Paul Rhymer explores that part of American culture that we like to think doesn’t exist — class. Certainly class isn’t as present in American lives as it is in other countries, but it’s there — just in subtle ways. One of Mr. Donahue’s biggest problems with his new job is that he has risen in class — and, as a result, he’s been forcibly separated from his friends.

SADE: Mr. Donahue loses out on jolly fellowship with his friends.
VIC: How so?
SADE: Well, mainly because he’s the boss.
VIC: Mmm.
SADE: Take it when he makes a trip to St. Louis, for instance.
VIC: Uh?
SADE: At the end of the run, the fireman and the engineer go to a restaurant patronized by railroad men.
VIC: Uh-huh.
SADE: Well, Mr. Donahue, of course, goes along. All right. They go inside the eatin’ place, and the other two fellas sit at the counter. But Mr. Donahue ain’t supposed to sit at the counter. He’s travelin’ inspector of locomotives. Dignity, see.
VIC: Mmm.
SADE: He has to take a table. All by himself. Counter is crowded with brakemen and engineers and firemen and flagmen and so on, all laughin’ and talkin’ and havin’ a high old time. All friends of Mr. Donahue, too. He’d love to join ‘em. But he can’t. He has to sit at his table with the white cover on it and watch everybody enjoy theirself.
VIC: Huh.
SADE: Day after day, that business. St. Louis, Kansas City, Chicago, Joliet, Alton, Peoria…every place.
VIC: Uh.
SADE: Well, Mis’ Donahue told me it almost breaks his heart.

It’s not that he has a higher salary — it’s that he’s an authority figure, and in that kind of job structure, you can’t be equal to everyone else. Class has to rear its ugly head. Mr. Donahue cares about friendship and happiness more than he cares about money or prestige. He’s just not cut out to be a boss. Wonder what Rhymer would have thought of Jon Ronson’s research on sociopathy and CEOs… 

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________________

Perhaps the most serious of the episodes that remain in circulation, there are few if any funny lines in this episode.

This episode however, can boast as being one of the best-sounding ones of the lot.

Trivia:

+ Sade calls one of Rush's friends "What's His Name"; we never do find out who she is talking about.

+ Oakland Avenue is mentioned. From the way Sade was talking, it must be in expensive part of town.

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40-07-13 Short Bio of Little Dipper

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic has been asked by lodge headquarters to write a small biography about Hank Gutstop, who is a Little Dipper in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way lodge. The problem is, Vic can think of nothing that Hank excels in, except singing, and the lodge says singing qualities are not allowed in the bio.  Go figure.

Finally, Vic think he will simply write, "Hank Gutstop is healthy" - a short but sweet bio. But -- Hank winds up ill at the end of the episode.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic practices minimalism in his biography of the Exalted Little Dipper.

As usual, Vic is trying to do right by Hank — give him a little boost in life. Paint him in a flattering light for the readers of the Lodge Magazine. But it’s hard to write a compelling biography of someone whose biggest claim to fame — other than being a singer, which has been barred by Headquarters as a theme — is that he’s just an all-around nice fella. Perhaps Vic could have said something about Hank’s innovation. Although you couldn’t truthfully call him “hard-working,” he does seem to be quite the “idea man.” Never mind that the ideas are often bad and impractical. The readers of the Lodge Magazine don’t need to know that.

I enjoy the colorful story about Black Hawk coining the word “Ouch” that Vic manufactures from whole cloth in this episode:

VIC: Black Hawk was standin’ on the side of the mountain gazin’ down into the valley. He was lookin’ for enemy Chippewas. An enemy Chippewa snuck up behind him with a hatchet. The hatchet flashed through the air and Black Hawk’s skull was cracked open. “Ouch,” said Black Hawk calmly. “Ouch.” Just that one word. And now all over the world whenever a human bein’ is injured he says “Ouch.

Since Black Hawk’s tribe, the Sauk, lived in what is now the Midwest, I’m not sure where he found a mountain to stand on. And the Chippewa (Ojibwe) and Black Hawk were both allied with Britain against the United States in the War of 1812 (ah, the war that public school history classes forgot…). Good thing for Vic that Sade and Rush aren’t very good fact checkers.

Black Hawk is a prominent figure in the history of the Illinois/Iowa area, so it’s no surprise that Rhymer selected him as the subject of Vic’s questionable history lesson. But since Black Hawk came from my neck of the woods, and was laid to rest very close to my hometown, I’d be remiss if I didn’t link to some of his real, beautiful and bittersweet words at the end of his life. "I liked my towns, my cornfields and the home of my people. I fought for it. It is now yours. Keep it as we did— it will produce you good crops."  (“Ouch” is not among them…but who knows?)

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

____________________

We probably all know someone like Hank. I know I do. Usually people like Hank can at least excel at some physical prowess; the man I know who is a bit like Hank can do very little except he is regularly taking care of his lawn; seems he mows his yard maybe twice a week and does it better than anyone I've ever known.

A funny episode; especially some of the feats of the other Little Dippers that Vic mentions.

Vic and Sade fan Dave Duckert wrote a short bio about Hank Gutstop:

Hank has applied his many talents to a variety of industries, including business development and entertainment. He specializes in in the financial area of monetary debt structuring. In his spare time he pursues indoor sports and spends countless hours perfecting his skills in this area. If there is one thing that can be said about Hank, it is what all his employers have said, “You’ll be lucky to get Hank to work for you!” 

Trivia:

+ At the beginning of the program, the announcer says Sade and Rush are reading sections of the newspaper but once the action begins, Rush is actually reading a Third Lieutenant Stanley adventure.

+ In this episode, Hank Gutstop is 39 years old.

+ Sade saw Hank sleeping outside on the Illinois-Central platform this very day. [You wonder why Sade would be at or near the train station, as nothing else was mentioned about it...]

+ Sade says Charlie Razorscum and Mr. Sludge use the Royal Throne 25 Cent barbershop.

+ Although I have heard many stories about the cast laughing during the scenes, I hadn't been aware of any in the surviving episodes. But we get a taste of it in this one as Vic chuckles a bit during one of his lines: {{{HEAR}}}

A try at finding a Hank attribute: {{{HEAR}}}

And another stab: {{{HEAR}}}

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40-01-19 Gumpox's Horse Eats Donahue's Lunch

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Mr. Donahue gets totally upset when Howard, Mr. Gumpox's horse, eats his lunch! Seems Donahue forgot his pipe and tobacco... and when he went inside to get it, Howard did the deed.

Donahue was so upset, he hit poor Howard with a folded up newspaper!  

MIS' CROWE SAYS:

It’s human nature to take sides in a grievance, even if you weren’t there to see it to begin with. What I find interesting is how quickly Vic switches sides on poor Howard here:

VIC: Well, I’d say he was considerable at fault. Certainly not very smart to leave an unlatched dinner bucket fulla meat and stuff right under a horse’s chin.
SADE: That’s what Mr. Gumpox pointed out.

But later, Howard’s manliness as a horse is called into question:

RUSH: Folded-up newspaper wouldn’t hurt a horse, Mom.
SADE: No? Howard whinnied and screamed and leaped six feet in the air. 
VIC: Howard’s a sissy.

And Vic immediately switches sides:

VIC: My way of thinkin’, Pa Donahue had the real grievance.

Gumpox’s great affection and respect for Howard is touching, and shows that Gumpox is a good soul — so, of course, I’m siding with Gumpox here. You don’t leave a bunch of food unattended in front of an animal…and then you definitely don’t hit the animal because you’re mad at him. Especially a delicate animal like Howard.

 SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________________

Ripley's Believe-it-or-Not! 1940

Trivia:

+ This episode runs short.

+ Rush says Charlie Razorscum can get "terrible mad."

+ Sade says the odd incident is like something you would find in the Believe-It-or-Not! section of the paper.

(Robert) Ripley's Believe-It-or-Not! was a common feature in most decent-sized newspapers across the U.S. in the late 1930's and early 1940's.  (It was also a popular radio show.) Many papers that didn't carry the Ripley's comic often carried one of the knock-off strips that were very much like it.

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40-07-04 Mr. Sludge Calls His Mother

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Mr. Sludge needs to make a long distance call to his mother and sisters but since two of roomers at the Harris house are home, Sludge feels quite embarrassed and thinks they might ridicule him. He asks Sade if he can make the call from their home. Sade agrees.

This sets it up for Rush and Vic to mock the man as they stay in the kitchen while he is in the living room.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Once a mama’s boy, always a mama’s boy.

I probably spend more time than I ought to thinking about the psychology of Mr. Sludge. I think he’s such an intriguing character, not just for the way he acts but for how others respond to him. I think we see Sade at her moral best when she is interacting with childish characters like Mr. Sludge and Ruthie Stembottom. She’s not always terribly kind and forgiving to her own family (who should know better than to act so foolish), but she has a soft spot for lost souls on the outside.

SADE: It’s not your place to make fun! Remember, you’re just a little boy, and Mr. Sludge is a grown man.

SADE: It’s not smart to laugh at people. Not the least bit smart.
VIC: [chuckling] No, but a guy forty-three years old…
SADE: I guess a guy forty-three years old can have feelins! […]

SADE: […] All his life he’s been babied and coddled. His mother and sister idolized him. Why, up until he was twenty years old, nobody’d ever said a mean word to him. It was a shock to learn there was meanness in the world. That’s why he cries.  […]

SADE: I don’t think it’s our place to criticize. He can’t help the way he feels. I’m sorry for him and glad to do all the favors I can. It’s cruel to laugh at a poor fella that’s blue and miserable.

I notice that she approaches Mr. Sludge in the same way she approaches Ruthie. She acknowledges that yes, perhaps what they are upset about might seem childish and foolish to us — but people’s feelings are their feelings and they can’t help what they feel and it’s our job to help them without judging them. Sade has no patience with people who are disingenuous and deceptive, like the oily Mr. Erickson, or flaky and manipulative, like Hank Gutstop — but any innocent who gets battered by the meanness of the world has a place under her wing. She’s always had an overwhelming maternal instinct, and it’s not just Rush who falls under her protection.

We find out a little more about Sludge’s background in this episode, like the following:

SADE: He got peachy marks in school, I know. Mis’ Harris’ was tellin’ me he’s got all his report cards stuck in the mirror of his dresser. Wonderful marks. Arithmetic a hundred, geography a hundred, history a hundred…everything a hundred. Shows he’s no ninny.

This is an old trope, the idea that kids who do well in school never make it in the real world. The truth is a lot more complicated than that, and in fact, good marks in school are still a predictor of later success — but Mr. Sludge is a fictional example of a real phenomenon taken to the extreme. Recent research shows that gifted children who are routinely given praise and feedback that focuses on how smart they are (rather than how hard-working they are or how they never give up) often suffer from low self-esteem and low perceptions of self-efficacy. They are more likely to give up when something is difficult — their self-worth is hung up on adults telling them they’re smart, and they don’t want to risk losing that status as a “smart kid.” Sometimes the wake-up call doesn’t come until they take difficult classes in college, or enter the workforce, but a childhood of everything being easy for you in school can lead to a rude awakening later on. This must be at least part of Sludge’s problem, although I’m sure he has social anxiety, too. The guy’s obviously got a lot of issues, and I have to agree with Sade that Vic’s being kind of a jerk about him. But it’s not Vic’s fault, really — he’s probably got some emotional repression himself…

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________________

Sade again shows a lot of sympathy for Mr. Sludge while the boys have no use for him.

Trivia:

+ No surprise: Mr. Sludge was crying when he asked Sade if he could use the telephone.

+ Just as in a previous episode, Mr. Sludge got his feelings hurt at the Five and Dime. The incident this time was about the very petty difference in price over licorice buttons candy. [Note, in that previous episode the store was called the, "Five and Ten."  We can/will assume they are the same store.]

+ Rush obviously plays first base when he plays baseball because he has a first baseman's glove. It may have looked something like this:


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40-07-01 Ruthie Has Secrets

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade: Ice cream at bedtime gives nightmares.

Fred and Ruthie Stembottom have just left after a game of "500."  Both Vic and Sade noticed there was something different about the way Ruthie acted.

Sade says Ruthie has secrets.  Vic is most intrigued.  The biggest secret?  Ruthie wears glasses.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Sade senses that Ruthie is keeping something from her.

Basically, Ruthie, at thirty-seven, is having a midlife crisis. She’s ashamed of getting older, which, as Vic says, is nothing to be ashamed of. But Sade has often described Ruthie as childish, and it’s hard for someone in a state of arrested development to age gracefully. Poor kid, indeed.

The funniest thing about this episode is Sade’s tone of voice. She sounds like Ruthie’s secret is that she’s covered up either a brutal double-murder or a terminal disease. Maybe it’s this somber tone that cued Vic not to joke around with Sade too much on this. As Sade says, it’s the kind of thing Vic usually finds foolish, but he listens carefully and sympathetically. Vic must have learned that you don’t mess with Sade when she’s using what I think of as the “Bess’ letter from 1937" voice.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

___________________

Although this episode probably seems frivolous to most men, there is quite a bit of humor involved in this if you look at it from a woman's point of view. The fact that Sade notices these small things and goes over them like a detective is funny in itself.

Another thing that is humorous is both how sensitive women are to little things like wearing glasses or changing shoe sizes - where a man wouldn't think twice about it and wouldn't care. You think men sit around and talk about the "embarrassment" of having to wear glasses or getting new shoes in a larger size?

There's another joke in the episode that I'll bet you overlooked. When Rush goes to see if there is ice cream left over, Sade cautions him that ice cream late at night gives nightmares. Well, Rush finds no ice cream (Fred has eaten it all.) Finally bored with the conversation about the glasses (who wouldn't be?) he falls asleep on the couch. Vic awakens him with a tirade of horrible thoughts: "Fire! Murder! Cyclone! Earthquake!"

Who needs late-night ice cream to have nightmares with that going on!

Trivia:

+ Some clues that gave away Ruthie's secret to Sade:

• Got her spades mixed up with clubs and her hearts with diamonds - about nine times.
• Said, "I guess I need glasses" and then laughed funny and shrill.
  
• Had a white ridge across her nose, where she had been wearing powder to disguise the red ridge across her nose.

+ In this episode, Vic says Ruthie is 37 years old.

+ Sade also discerned that Ruthie (who has tiny feet) takes a larger shoe size.

+ In an interview she did in 1965, actress Bernadine Flynn (Sade) recalls this episode (or one very much like it) in which Rhymer took the cast's idiosyncrasies and made a script out of it: {{{HEAR}}}

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40-06-24 Mr. Gumpox Blows Kisses

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade comes home and she has some juicy news: Mr. Donahue and Mr. Gumpox had a fight!

It seems Mr. Donahue punched Mr. Gumpox right in the nose.  Gumpox blew a kiss to Mis' Donahue and Mr. Donahue tore after him and whacked him in the snoz.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
According to Sade, Gumpox is in the habit of blowing kisses to all the ladies in the neighborhood and he's been doing it for years.

Gumpox’s innocent show of affection gets him into an unfortunate misunderstanding.

You know, if I were Mr. Donahue, I’d be reassured by Mr. Gumpox’s willingness to blow a kiss at my wife while I was present. It’d show me that the two of them held no secrets from me. Not that I’d suspect Gumpox of being much of a Lothario in the first place. I feel like Mr. and Mis’ Donahue have some jealousy issues to work out in their marriage. The Razorscums, with Charlie blowing kisses right back at Mr. Gumpox, seem like they have a much healthier relationship with each other and with their garbage man.

Don’t forget that back in January, Gumpox and Donahue were in a fight because Howard ate Donahue’s lunch. Things have been tense between the two of them for a while, I suppose.

We get to hear an incidence in this episode that is extremely rare among the cast members of “Vic and Sade”: someone muffing a line.

VIC: Oh. Probably some beautifully veiled lady and greatly agitated is at the threshhold, pinin’ away for your good-lookin’ papa.

It’s a slightly mixed-up version of Vic’s rather complex “beautiful woman heavily veiled and greatly agitated” catchphrase. He keeps moving along nicely and, since “Vic and Sade” is so lifelike, it’s easy to think of it as Vic himself misspeaking and not the actor. The fact that this mistake is remarkable is a testament to the skill and professionalism of these actors, who almost never screw up — especially since Rhymer was sometimes making edits to the scripts all the way up until it came time to record, and the actors would then, presumably, be doing a cold read. It’s easy to forget, while listening to these old radio shows, that most of them had only one chance to get their lines right. Kind of puts modern actors and their blooper reels to shame!

 SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________

Poor Mr. Gumpox.  He was just being friendly.  However, the half-wit should know better than to blow kisses at a man's wife when the husband is sitting right there next to her!

Trivia:

+ Vic refers to Rush as having a "heart-shaped face." Recall the phrase, "heart-shaped face" put Vic in a spot in an earlier episode.

+ Sade says that Gumpox told his horse Howard to kick Mr. Donahue after Donahue had struck him.

+ Vic refers to an earlier incident in which Howard had eaten Mr. Donahue's lunch.  This leads me to believe that the surviving episode that exists (which came almost a year later than this episode) about Howard eating the lunch is a re-used script.

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44-05-06 Rish Fish's Short Career

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND RUSSELL MILLER

Almost the very same story as 39-06-21 Hank's Job Royal Throne Barbershop, except Rishigan Fishigan gets the job instead of Hank Gutstop and Russell Miller is in the episode instead of Rush.

40-06-19 Vic's Wide Brimmed Hat

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON  

Vic is in possession of a brand new, wide-brimmed $8.00 hat.  He claims that Kleeburger's gave it to him for finally paying up his $2.00 bill.

Sade suspects from the beginning that Vic actually bought the hat himself and involved Rush in his shenanigans.

After a while, Sade has the whole thing figured out; Vic had purchased the hat the day before when he paid his outstanding bill; then Vic had the clerk give the hat to Rush as he walked by this day (Rush was used a  pawn.)

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic receives a wide-brimmed hat as a gift from a grateful business owner, or so he claims…

I don’t fully understand what Sade has against her husband looking like a peeled onion. A lot of what drives Sade is incomprehensible to me. My theory, though, is that it all boils down to the small-town social hierarchy. This is all pre women’s-lib, and as hard-nosed, independent, and domineering as Sade may seem sometimes, her position in the community is still inextricably linked to her husband’s success, because that’s the way her society functions. While Sade has a social life of her own, much of her prestige hangs on that of Vic, who wears a clean white shirt to work every day and has his letters typed up by a regular stenographer. If he wears something that makes him look ridiculous, it reflects badly upon her, because so much of her identity is bound up in Vic’s. So, as she sees it, it’s in her (and Vic’s) best interests to make sure he doesn’t go and do anything that makes him look silly or eccentric. She thinks she’s doing him a favor. 

Even though Sade really has no business dictating to Vic how he dresses, I can’t help but admire the way she has Vic’s scheme sussed out from the very beginning of this episode. I laugh every time at the simple, acidic way she observes, “Lotsa clippins…” as he reads her newspaper clippings about the popularity of broad-brimmed hats. She’s got him right where she wants him and although he’s probably dimly aware of it, he keeps blundering on in the hope that his scheme will eventually work on her. Poor Vic.

SEE THE SCRIPT

________________________

Even though Vic is guilty of the "crime" that Sade suspects him of, Vic seems to have his dander up that she even suspects him in the first place!

Vic whips out articles he saved up to show Sade that wide-brimmed hats are not the horrible things she imagines them to be.  As a matter of fact, they are quite popular nationwide.

click to enlarge

He even has an article that says Gloria Golden admires men who wear hats with "generous brims."

Why doesn't Sade allow Vic to wear a wide-brimmed hat?  Perhaps he would look like an onion or a cowboy.  But does he ever tell her how to dress?

If you boil it down, Sade is a nag.  I sometimes feel sorry for Vic.  She nags about everything he does!  I wouldn't doubt that Vic strangled her to death in one of the dumped Proctor and Gamble episodes.

Trivia:

+ Sade says that wide-brimmed hats make Vic look like a "peeled onion" and a "Cowboy from the Wild-West show."

Sade's being a nosy nag... {{{HEAR}}}

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40-06-18 June Christmas Card Pressure

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade: Now who in name of Detroit, Michigan is trying to sell us Christmas cards?

It's the middle of June and Vic has left a Christmas card sample book in the Gook living room. It seems his boss Mr. Buller has a niece that's selling them.

Add her to the 8 other people who hound the Gooks to buy Christmas cards.  Or as Sade says: {{{HEAR}}}

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Paul Rhymer’s take on the “Christmas Creep.”

We all have friends and family who hate Christmas. Maybe you’re that person yourself. While some people find Christmas depressing, other people are annoyed by all its commercial trappings — the obligation to waste money on presents that the recipients might not actually want or need, the artificial merriment and the forced sentimentality, the push for special foods and decorations to make the holiday perfect,

and…Christmas cards. Oh, Christmas cards. Has anything else caused as much strife for the Gook family as Christmas cards? It’s only June and already Vic and Sade are arguing about Christmas cards.

Paul Rhymer’s Christmas-themed episodes are usually about this stressful side of Christmas. There is little starry-eyed sentimentalism around Christmas to be found in Vic and Sade. For the Gooks, Christmas means unnecessary expenditures and endless social obligations — the buying of presents, the arrangement of visits, and, of course, the purchasing and sending of Christmas cards. These things are not treated as kind gestures that make the doer feel happy, but as chores that must be done in order to maintain one’s place in the social hierarchy.  It’s a pragmatic take on the holiday season, but one that I think a lot of people can sympathize with.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________________

The Gooks are being overrun with Christmas card salesman! It seems the pressure starts mounting right around the first of June every year.

Put yourself in Sade's shoes - would you not buy from poor Mr. Gumpox? What about your neighbor Mis' Harris?

Luckily, Rush has stopped selling Christmas cards. I can imagine a destroyed episode we missed somewhere that has Sade telling Rush he must not sell Christmas cards anymore because the Gooks can't afford the extra ten spot.

Trivia:

+ Vic is going to supper with Mr. Buller at the Butler House Hotel this evening.  They are dining in "the fashionable Purple Room."

+ It's only June and Mr. Erickson (the Gook landlord) and Sade's sister Bess are already starting to put the pressure on the Gooks to buy Christmas cards. 

+ There are at least two gimmicks the Toledo-based Christmas card company uses to attract people to sell the cards: Their name in gold-lettering  and an hour's worth of free parking in downtown Toledo, Ohio,  Whoo!

+ Mr. Gumpox also sells Christmas cards. (For a complete list of those who sell cards visit this link.)

+ The family figures out they need to spend $80.00 on Christmas cards in order to patronize friends and family so that feelings won't get hurt.

Rush reads some 1940 Christmas cards: {{{HEAR}}}

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40-06-17 Mr. Sludge to Sleep Overnight at Gooks

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic: I hope he don't weep during the night and disturb our rest...

Mr. Sludge, as we all know, is a crier.  According to Sade in previous episodes, he's homesick, he misses his mother and sisters and on top of it all, he's a momma's boy.

His landlady, Mis' Harris, is away and Mr. Sludge is somehow alone over the house across the way.  He is frightened of this and Sade has made it known that Mr. Sludge is welcome to stay over at the Gook house and sleep on the davenport.

Sludge calls and is crying and frightened and is hopeful Rush will come and get him and escort him over to the house - for he too is afraid of the dark alleyway.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Mr. Sludge, alone and terrified in Mis’ Harris’ house, elects to spend the night with the Gooks.

The affection that most people in the Vic and Sade universe seem to have for Mr. Sludge is pretty touching. After all, male tears tend to make people uncomfortable, even in the twenty-first century — not to speak of the 1940s. Our perceptions about the way males “should” behave are deeply entrenched in our unspoken cultural rules and are laden with emotional intensity. But Mr. Sludge is lovingly accepted — well, by Sade, anyway; grudgingly by Vic. Sade is maternally protective of him and defends him against all scorn. Rush has always been tolerant of difference (look at some of the weird affectations his friends have), and he sees Sludge as just another colorful thread in the tapestry of life. He shows an ability to empathize with Sludge, to think like Sludge (“S’pose he went to a hotel?”) He even volunteers to go and walk Sludge across the alley (though he draws the line at giving him his bed). Vic’s a tougher case — he scoffs at Sludge’s unmanly tendencies, but even he accepts Sludge, albeit with quite a bit of bafflement and derision. He dislikes Mr. Sludge’s apparent weaknesses because he doesn’t understand them — but he’s still perfectly happy to have Sludge come and sleep at his house, because that’s what Sludge needs to do in order not to have a massive meltdown. Sludge must have some kind of severe social anxiety disorder that the Gooks don’t have the experience to recognize, or the language to describe (beyond words like “feeble-minded,” “mama’s boy,” “timid,” “bashful,” and so on), but they accept him as he is, warts and all — or, rather, uncontrollable tears and all.  And I think that’s a beautiful picture of society.

 SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

________________________

Sade shows a lot of sympathy for Mr. Sludge again in this episode while both Vic and Rush don't understand how Mr. Sludge can be such a "sissy."

Trivia:

+ Intertwined in this episode is Rush reading from an exciting Third Lieutenant Stanley book.

+ Rush says that Sludge is a very good bowler. (He bowls at the YMCA.)

+ Do you ever think about the things that get said almost every episode that are ever rarely mentioned in Vic and Sade articles?:

• All: Telephone's ringin'!
• Rush: I'm just a normal, American citizen!
• Rush: (The phone rings.) It's probably ___ ____.  He said he had something of a very trivial nature to discuss.

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