36-04-30 Rush – the Cartographer

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Promo map - click to enlarge

• Vic is helping Rush draw a picture map of the city. (Rush refers to teacher – librarian? – Miss Gustman)
• Vic complains The guy yanking the fish out of the Kickapoo Crick is out of proportion.  Rush wants it like that because Hank Gutstop's layin' on the baggage truck, Mis' Fisher leanin' out her front window, an' Mr. Donahue in the cab of his locomotive are all out of proportion.  But they give the picture some punch.
• Rush is to deliver the map to Miss Gustman at the library by seven-thirty.
• Vic starts to fill in street names – Rush says Miss Gustman will do that.
• Sade wants to know what's playing at the picture show, where they intend to go after dropping off the map.  The men are busy and try to satisfy her curiosity with an invented title.  Vic compliments Rush on his ability to draw Mis' Call's chickens.  
• (The phone rings.)  Hank wants Vic to come to his house to play in an indoor horseshoes tournament.  Vic wants to play and creates a story that he can't go to the Bijou with Rush and Sade because of important lodge business.  Rush advises him not to mention Hank's name to Sade.
• Sade recommends protecting the map by wrapping it in newspaper because there's "soft-coal dust smoke in the air."
• Hank is waiting on the line.  Sade wants to know why the phone's off the hook.  She picks up the phone, finds out it is Hank and explains Vic won't be coming to the indoor horseshoe tournament.  Rush is amazed at her deductive powers.  Sade instructs Vic to get his coat. - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason

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The map the family describes is a real one; a promotional item given away (or sold) by Proctor and Gamble during this time period.

It's interesting that Hank Gutstop not only (surprisingly) has a house but he has indoor horseshoes.

Mis' Call has chickens; we learn in another episode that Mis' Keller also has chickens and Mis' Harris probably had chickens as she has a chicken coup.

This won't be the last time that Vic tries to lie to Sade,  Of course, it never works!

35-01-01 New Year's Day - Rush Has Three Jobs

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

It's New Year's Day and though there are big doin's at the Bijou (see below), Rush has three different and distinct jobs that will pay him money.

One job involves taking care of Mis' Harris' son, Gerald.  He's got another job wheeling around Grandpa Snyder (you may remember that he is confined to a wheelchair.)  And he has yet another job, walking Mis' Crane's dog around the park.

The time he is to meet these people and carry out his jobs all take place nearly at the same time.

He devises a scheme where he can do all three jobs.

SEE THE SCRIPT

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• At the Bijou: Donna Dreamerson and Conway Clayton in the film, True Hearts and Red Balloons; with added attractions Fatty Frisco and Dimples Duffy in the film, Look Out Below, and a special New Year’s presentation by the management showing pictures of local points of interest, together with short talks by various leading citizens (including Mr. Ruebush) and a Colorful Travelogue Depicting The Lovely Scenes in the Vicinity of Mont Blanc, with running comments by Dr. Benton J. Blatz, noted lecturer and explorer.
• The Newspaper says: Miss Mable Coomer, until recently a student of The Commonwealth-Proctor Music Academy in Chicago to sing: “Red Bird Dying”, “Why Is Life So Short and Sweet?” “Into The Gloomy Grave Gladly Shall I Go” an’ “Heaven, Thou Art Very Near To Me”.

Imagine how little there was to do on a New Year's Day in 1935 if you didn't enjoy listening to football on the radio...

What to do? Head to the Bijou where an extravaganza of stuff is going on! Slides shows! A singer! A few movies!  They'd probably stop the show when Amos 'n' Andy came on the radio and pipe in the sound, as several movie theaters did just that in 1935.

They probably gave away a bicycle for the kiddies and dishes for the gals - pop might win a whole box of cigars, even if they weren't his favorite brand.

39-10-30 Five Christmas Card Salesmen

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON  

Sade is surprised to find five letters in the mail written to her. Upon
opening them she realizes they are all from that crazy Christmas card company in Toledo, Ohio.

The letters appear to be "softening her up" for the five Christmas card salesman in town; Grandpa Snyder, Mis' Harris, Mr. Erickson, Mis' Wheeler and Mis' Scott.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Sade receives five letters attempting to butter her up in preparation for Christmas card sales.

Not one of those rolling-on-the-floor episodes, but great nonetheless. The form letter Sade receives is full of Rhymerian humor. The overwrought language, the unctuousness, the fake poetry quotations. All funny. My favorite part is Sade trying to stumble through the fake Robert Burns poem in Scots.

This seems like a great deal of trouble to go to in order to sell Christmas cards — after all, it’s a seasonal product. You buy it once a year. Invest maybe a few dollars a year. How can this company afford such aggressive sales tactics? I greatly fear that their Christmas card salespeople are doing a lot of the labor for very little compensation. But they must get something out of it, if they continue to hound Sade year after year.

I have tagged this episode with the word “five.” My husband has a theory that five is the funniest number and that Paul Rhymer knew this. Five is a number that arises frequently in these shows, and I intend to make a closer study of it. So, here it is…the first recorded episode with the number five as the center of a joke.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcription by Lydia Crowe)

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Run-of-the-mill episode with no big laughs to speak of. Still, an enjoyable program just because it's Vic and Sade.

Trivia:

+ When Vic sees he has a bill from Kleeburger's Department Store, he has Rush throw it in the garbage.

+ Sade gets a coupon in the mail from the Lazy Hours Pool Hall for a free dish of cole slaw with every game of billiards on Thursday night.

+ The letters Sade receives from the Christmas card company in Toldeo, Ohio are all addressed to her differently:
to: Mrs. Victor Gook
to: Mrs. V. R. Gook
to: Mrs. Victor R. Gook
to: Mis' Victor Gook
to: Mrs. V. R. Cook

+ Mis' Harris and Grandpa Snyder both call hoping to meet with Sade about Christmas cards.

+ Mis' Wheeler is mentioned for the first time. She sell Christmas cards.

Sade tries to read one of the letters from the Christmas card company that has part of a Robert Burns poem in Gaelic: {{{HEAR}}}

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39-06-01 Grandpa Snyder Christmas Cards

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Grandpa Snyder leaves his Christmas card sample book with Sade. Whenever she tells him she doesn't want it, he pretends he's deaf.

Christmas cards will be in abundant supply all year round in the town the Gooks live in - almost like a locust plague.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Sade is put in an awkward position by an elderly Christmas-card-pushing relative.

All “Christmas card” episodes are instant classics for me because the messages on the cards are always prime examples of Rhymer humor. Sade starts to ignore Rush after he reads aloud the relatively innocuous “If I don’t receive presents I’ll jump in the lake” card, but he continues reading aloud in the background, and the messages get more and more absurd (“Give me a hug, or I’ll kick your father”). Stop interrupting him, Vic and Sade; I wanna hear the rest!

Local Christmas card pushers must have been a common small-town feature back then. It would have been a good way for unemployed people (housewives like Mis’ Harris and older people like Grandpa Snyder) to make a little spending money for the holidays. Today, anyone who lives around a high school probably experiences the Christmas card crush. I have many not-so-fond memories of hawking Christmas cards (plus wrapping paper, chocolate, fruit, popcorn, and other holiday fripperies) to raise money for my school’s music and art programs. Some of my teachers had a rule: “I’ll buy from the first person who asks me, and NO MORE.” My one surefire customer was Grandma, who faithfully bought overpriced wrapping paper and chocolate from me for years. At least we waited until November and didn’t try to get people interested in Christmas cards in June. Although we didn’t get our initials in our hat or free parking in downtown Toledo, I think there was a cheap radio or something you could win if you sold enough garbage, but I never quite hit that goal. But maybe if I’d had an ear trumpet…

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

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This is the first of many episodes that deal with innocuous Christmas cards. All of the cards seem silly and inappropriate for anyone but the closest of family. Actually, they sound more like Valentine's Day cards that you would get at age 7.

The worst part is, it seems like everyone is selling them and just WHO are you supposed to buy them from, so that feelings won't get hurt?

Trivia:

+ Rush says that the last time (before this episode) that Rooster Davis complimented anyone was 1935.

+ Grandpa Snyder has a wheelchair and a tin horn for his ear. While he is hard of hearing, he pretends to be much more deaf than he really is. He sells Christmas cards. When you refuse to buy his cards, he yells. He spends a lot of time on Clinton Boulevard.

+ Mis' Harris also sells Christmas cards. We find she lives across the alley.

+ Mis' Scott lives next door to the Gooks. She also sells Christmas cards.

+ Bess, Sade's Sister in Carbury, sells Christmas cards for the church treasury.

+ Rush also sells Christmas cards.

+ Clinton Boulevard is mentioned. They are tearing up the street. Grandpa Snyder spends a lot of time there.

Rush (and Vic) read the Christmas cards (EDITED VERSION): {{{HEAR}}}

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