33-12-26 The Claysnort's Christmas Gifts

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

• Vic and Rush play checkers. Vic's reading ("A General Survey of The Kitchenware Industry From The Years 1914 to …") at the same time, and Rush wants him to concentrate on the game. Rush reminds him they're playing for the Pennsylvania Railroad. Vic thought he'd already won that. Rush says, "No, you won The state of Utah."  The game before that, the prize was the courthouse.
• Sade announces the Claysnort family are coming over with little Washburn, following an old Ohio custom. They've sent the Gooks funny presents and now want to visit to see what other presents they got.
• Vic and Rush ignore Sade's pleas to dress up.
• She brings Vic his present from the Claysnorts. The tag says it's an "ear-tray." Vic can't figure it out. Rush says, "It goes on your ears. See The little hooks? They're just like the little hooks on spectacles. Ya hook ‘em over your ears like this, Gov."  Sade insists Rush put The ear-trays on Vic.
• Rush: "Sit still, Gov. Now see. The hooks hang over your ears an' the ash tray hangs down by your chin."  Vic is horrified.
• Sade insists he wear it to show his appreciation.
• Vic: "Sade, this invention is the product of a diseased mind."
  Sade: "Why it's real clever. You smoke your cigar, an' the ashes fall in the ear-tray."
• Rush got a combination back-scratcher and buggy-whip.
• Sade got a combination fly-swatter and button-hook.
• She urges Vic to put on a tie and make further preparations.
• The Claysnorts then phone to say that they can't visit today. - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason
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  If you think about it, writer Paul Rhymer must have been quite the inventor.  Not only did he invent these thousands of stories that we love to read and hear, he also invented many tiny unconventional, ridiculous inventions in his head and used them in his stories.