36-02-21 Willard's Book of Poetry

Sade's been asked to share a review of Willard's book of poetry. Sade cannot make heads nor tails out of the superfluous, probably-pretentious work. When she asks Rush what certain poems mean, he comes up with logical (yet suspect) answers, confusing Sade even more.

Eventually, she gives up on doing the report, sending her son packing with the book but making him tell Mis' Brighton the bad news.

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I assume no one but myself cares about this, but the John T. Hetherington book (link below) reveals that Willard is Mis' Brighton's brother.  What is not revealed though, is why Sade has such a close relationship with him.  She calls him by his first name, calls him "a comfortable friend" and has him over to the house often (yet, always with Mis' Brighton).  I wonder how Sade would feel if Pom Pom or Lolita were called the same by Vic and came over as often?  I'm not suggesting that Willard and Sade are romantically involved, I am only stating some obvious facts.

The title is one I have given the episode purely for identification purposes.

[The gist of this episode was revealed in the book, Vic and Sade on the Radio: A Cultural History of Paul Rhymer's Daytime Series]

38-12-16 Rooster Davis' New Spectacles

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 

While the Gooks wait for the noontime meat to get done,  Rush says that Rooster Davis came to school this day, wearing glasses.  That's not a big deal.

What is a big deal is how the glasses were attached to him.  Not by hooks around his ears, but by a very long black ribbon (more than 6 feet long) that was attached to a brooch with fake diamonds!

SEE THE SCRIPT

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The script begins with an unusual letter from Bess; this one goes into a bit of detail about Walter's kneecap and Bess even makes a joke, saying his kneecap has "gone off the reservation" - that is, his kneecap is on the "warpath."

For Bess, who doesn't make jokes (despite her literary "ha ha's")  that was a fairly special joke.

Horse!

RUSH: I could eat a fried horse, harness an' all.

and then later...

RUSH: I'll be delighted to make it plain as a horse. 

and then later... 

RUSH: I'll be delighted to make it plain as a horse why Rooster's glasses threw a bomb-shell that hit civilization. 

40-11-22 Third Lieutenant Stanley - Bright Kentucky Hotel

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 

In an episode that will remind you of 42-03-xx Mis' Applerot's Petition, Sade comes home from her Thimble Club meeting upset that Mis' Appelrot hijacked the ladies with a silly petition to knock down the Bright Kentucky Hotel.

SEE THE SCRIPT

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This is actually the earlier of the two scripts and it appears as though the scripts are similar, there was a major re-working done in the other script.

This script does not include Rush saying over and over, "I will not sign!" (the petition) but he does allude to the fact that Uncle Strap and Mr. Gumpox would be out of a job and a place to live, respectively.

This episode is also full of Rush reading from an unnamed Third Lieutenant Stanley novel.  He reads:

Third Lieutenant Stanley gave the villainous crew of counterfeiting smugglers one supercilious glance. Then his eyes softened as he turned and gazed at the oval face of Lady Margaret. The beautiful woman smiled bravely, revealing twin rows of perfect teeth the rich color of old ivory. Her hand trembled slightly as she twirled her dainty pink parasol and her small foot in its fashionable French spat tapped nervously. Third Lieutenant Stanley touched her arm. "Let us share a hug an' kiss before we fight these miserable wretches," he grunted. Nothing loath, the beautiful woman lifted her veil an' thrust her lovely head forward. Jabbering amongst themselves, the counterfeiting smugglers watched the exchange of tender caresses an' there was a burst of rude laughter as Third Lieutenant Stanley began to cry. "Sweetheart," he blubbered, "Five minutes from now I may be dead. But, sweetheart, I want you to know that my love for you transcends everything in...   The handsome young officer faced death valiantly. "You fellows can go jump in the creek, I'm not scared," he growled to the leader of the counterfeiting smugglers. But for Lady Margaret he had a sweet smile an' eyes that twinkled merrily. "Give me one more kiss an' one more hug before I kick the bucket, sweetheart," he gloated. The beautiful woman simpered and coquettishly pretended that the mother-of-pearl buttons on her fashionable French spats had come unbuttoned. Finally, blushing furiously, she lifted her veil an' thrust forward her lovely head. "Just one hug an' one kiss now," she warned an' Third Lieutenant Stanley howled loudly his satisfaction an' approval.

The best part of the book was a part he did not get to read, but instead, gives us the juicy details:

The counterfeiting smugglers try to murder Third Lieutenant Stanley by tying him to a tree an' smearing melted marshmallow all over his clothes an' releasing two grizzly bears from a cage. Grizzly bears are very fond of melted marshmallow so it looks like curtains for Third Lieutenant Stanley.

While in the world of Vic and Sade, ridiculous things happen to all of the characters, the things that happen to them must not break the laws of physics or nature - that is, the world of Vic and Sade is a real world.

The world of books and motion pictures, however, go beyond ridiculous, even in the world of Vic and Sade.  The marshmallows and the grizzly bears are an example of this, as are most Third Lieutenant Stanley novels dealing with animals.

There is a story in this episode about Mr. Gumpox that is well worth pointing out.  Rush explains:

He'll be asleep an' a fast passenger train'll flash by the Bright Kentucky sixty or seventy miles an hour an' by George the building starts to shake from the vibration an' he'll ride all around the room in his doggone bed just like you'd ride around in an automobile. One time he rode right outta the bedroom into the hall-way. Woke up the next morning in the hall by the fire-escape, thirty-five feet from the spot where he'd retired.

In an audio interview conducted in the 1970's, Jean Shepherd relayed this same story, but confused Gumpox with Rishigan Fishigan. [There may have been an episode like this about Fishigan, but consider that we know that Fishigan lived on the penthouse floor and the ground floor would be much closer to the trains than the penthouse.  It is also inferred that Fishigan was the only roomer on the penthouse floor.  So we assume that Shepherd was simply incorrect.]

44-01-10 Where's Hank? - Goodbye Ladies

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND  DAVID WHITEHOUSE

Sade's entertaining Mis' Brighton, Mis' Applerot, Mis' Stembottom, and Mis' Cryder. Meanwhile, Vic calls all over town trying to locate Hank Gutstop because he's been ordered by Lodge Headquarters to suspend him again for non-payment of dues. Sade wants Vic to come to the living room to say hello to her guests, who are getting ready to leave. Vic wants no part of the ladies.

SCRIPT (part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

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Sade is asking for trouble when she matches up Appelrot and Brighton against Ruthie and herself.  Appelrot and Brighton together always present trouble to Ruthie. And when Ruthie reaches the end of her rope and has had enough, she goes off half-cocked.  Though Sade can be a terror at home, she is meek around the ladies.

If Vic can ever locate Hank, it will be at least the third time he has been suspended from the lodge for not paying his dues.

TRIVIA:

+ Latin junk: "In hoc agricola sim spittle dum cluck apidivorous nono ickle hunk.  Sogo filia dum Caesar copley cornucopia est. Cicero tossit elmo cookies dim wopple speesh.  Eemo discurnim et fossae librum for a slamp. Nebravit huius caress sprell.  Digitus ex-bombo dum solo feenum chunk.  Bootle peuloorum non spooner booble yiz."

+ Russell mentions Hermie Wolper from school: 19 years old, wears a derby, spends Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at the pool hall.

41-xx-xx How Neighbor Ladies Greet Each Other When on the Outs

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Over a "game" of Rummy, Sade chronicles the neighborhood ladies' friendships with each other.

SEE THE SCRIPT

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The friendships go something like this:

click to enlarge

Rush gets upset with Sade because while she's "playing" cards, she's not actually playing any cards.  I'm quite sure it upsets Vic also but since Rush is already making it known that Sade's holding up the game, he bites his lip.

36-12-17 Sade Goes Christmas Shopping (Joyeux Noel)

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade comes home very tired after battling the Christmas shoppers at Yamilton's; but the men are just as tired from their day.

SEE THE SCRIPT SYNOPSIS

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You will find a lot of similarities with this episode and 44-07-18 Fantastic Sale at Yamilton's.

TRIVIA:
* One of the funnier conversations in the series appears in this episode:

RUSH: I been playin' basketball in the gym ever since school let out.  I can hardly drag one foot after the other.

VIC: I been manipulating large business enterprises.  I can hardly drag one brain after the other.  

Joyeux Noel:

was a series of widespread unofficial ceasefires that took place along the Western Front around Christmas 1914, during World War I. Through the week leading up to Christmas, parties of German and British soldiers began to exchange seasonal greetings and songs between their trenches; on occasion, the tension was reduced to the point that individuals would walk across to talk to their opposite numbers bearing gifts. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, many soldiers from both sides – as well as, to a lesser degree, from French units – independently ventured into "no man's land", where they mingled, exchanging food and souvenirs. As well as joint burial ceremonies, several meetings ended in carol-singing. Troops from both sides were also friendly enough to play games of football with one another. (Source: Wikipedia)

36-04-21 Hank Fixes the Washing Machine

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY AND BERNARDINE FLYNN

Sade comes home from shopping to find Vic acting guilty.  She finds out that Hank Gutstop is downstairs using a hammer on the electricity!

SEE SOME DIALOGUE AND THE SYNOPSIS

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The Gook's hideous, shocking washing machine is acting up.  Again, it's the electricity.  We all know when we see the title that Hank is over to "fix" it.  Well, he fixed it, alright.

What's up with Hank and Vic using hammers to "fix" things?  Vic has been known to use hammers on clocks.

Trivia:

+ It's revealed in this episode that Hank is not welcome in the Gook house, even when Sade is not home.  It's obvious that Sade made this rule.  Is the rule in place simply because Hank owes Vic money?  (I doubt it.)  This episode is from 1936 - what has Hank done in the early days of the show to make Sade so furious?  Was he found asleep in the Gook's back yard or tool shed?  Sade hear a rumor he tried to teach Rush how to play bottle pool?  We may never know.

36-04-07 Vic and Sade Discuss a Close Friendship

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY AND BERNARDINE FLYNN

The Gooks are in bed asleep when Sade wakes Vic and wants to discuss the fight Vic had with Fred Stembottom - mainly because she is afraid it will ruin her friendship with Ruthie.

SEE THE SCRIPT

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Dizzy Dean

Vic is mad at Fred because Fred needled him about Consolidated Kitchenware and insinuated that Vic was dumb for working there.

Vic had earlier needled Fred about his infatuation with Dizzy Dean, the baseball pitcher.

In 1936, Fred was not working at the foundry - he was working as a clerk (of course, I suppose he could be a clerk at the foundry... but I doubt it.)

36-03-04 Vic Sings Lodge Songs

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY AND BERNARDINE FLYNN

• (The original Paul Rhymer script is marked "unseasonal, for emergency use")
• Vic: (singing)  I'm a happy, happy man:  I love my brotherhood.  I help The poor and feeble, and I'm always kind and good.  The Sacred Stars of the Milky Way is the lodge I like to serve.  It's regulations are mighty fine, from them I will not swerve.  So come, my brothers, let us dance.  Let's clap our hands with glee.  For the Sacred Stars of The Milky Way we'll always… 
• Sade comes in admitting she thought maybe he was being murdered, not singing.  He good-naturedly tells her he was singing "Happy Men With Hearts Of Gold" from the Official Lodge Songbook he just received.
• Vic tries another song: "The Last Drop Of Blood in My Body is Yours, Sweet Lodge", sung to the tune of "I'll Steer My Ship To Heaven While the Joyous Wavelets Play."  Sade corrects him.  The title is "I'll Guide My Bark to Heaven an' Go Swiftly on My Way."
• Vic (sings): Jolly lads, quick come to me; a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, the organization we love so well.  ‘Twas founded in 1833 by six wise men so true.  Their names were Howard Conk, J.N. Dupe, L.W. Rotmyer… 
• Another song: "I Wear My Insignia On My Watch-Fob an' It's Symbol in My Heart" to the tune of "Marching Through the Forge." Sade believes it's "Marching Through Georgia."
  Another: "I'd Love To Have A Dollar For Every Good Wish I Have For You, Sweet Lodge" to the tune of "Uncle, Dear Uncle, Stop Beating Me Now."
• Vic has invited Hank Gutstop and Ike Bushel over to work out the tunes.  Ike will bring his accordion.  Sade puts The ki-bosh on the evening, having invited Mis' Brighton and Mis' Willard to call.  She won't have those tramps in The house while her friends are There.
• Vic asserts he's the boss by singing, Jolly lads, come quick to me – a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, the organization we love… 
• Sade tells Vic to phone and un-invite Hank and Ike. Vic tells her not to get excited.  They'll stay to themselves in the kitchen while they are in the living room.  Sade forbids it.
• Vic: "Aw, what's the use of makin' a fuss?  For all you know Mis' Brighton and Mis' Willard might take to Hank and Ike like a horse takes to cheese.  Hank can sing ‘em a song.  He makes people cry when he sings ‘How Sorry I Am I Choked My Gray-Haired Mother.'"   Sade: (snort)    Vic: "I'll get him to sing, ‘Indiana's Got Its Wabash, Pennsylvania's Mountain Tips,  But I'd Give the Mississippi For A Kiss From Your Ruby Lips.'"
• Sade's adamant that he phone Hank and Ike to cancel.
  Bitterly, he agrees, and angrily he sings, Jolly lads, come quick to me, a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, the organization we love so well.  ‘Twas founded in 1833 by six wise men so true.  Their names were Howard Conk, J.M. Dupe, L.W. Rotmyer, Anderson… - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason
  

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What would be a very fine episode is messed up a bit by the founders of the lodge being Howard Conk, J. M. Dupe, L. W. Rotmyer, Anderson (and 2 others) rather than just R.J. Konk.  How in the world did that change?

The songs in this episode are classic Vic and Sade and belong in the lore of stories you'll tell your kids, along with Rishigan Fishigan, the Hinks, etc.

Rhymer had a thing for watch fobs, shoestrings, barbers, coronets and other stuff.  I always love it when the watch fob is used in a lodge song...

There's another thing that seems to have changed (maybe) and that's the fact that Mis' Brighton was to come over with Mis' Willard; Mis' Willard was never mentioned again but Mis' Brighton's (probable) son Willard was mentioned many times over.  Willard was always tagging along with Mis' Brighton, so you wonder what exactly is going on there?  Is this something that just evolved or since this was an "emergency script" is this something that maybe Rhymer jotted down one day without much thought?

Still, this script is full of jewels and gems and it's not hard to overlook the inconsistancies when you realize this was an "emergency script."

35-09-10 Rush's First Day at High School

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Rush is excited about starting high school.  He's bubbling with enthusiasm and tells his parents all about what's going on.

SEE THE SCRIPT

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Who can ever forget their first day of high school?  Me, for one.  Really, the only thing I remember is a teacher getting upset at us and reminding us we weren't in Junior High any longer.

We find the name of the High School is mentioned for the first time (Emerson) and we find out that Rooster and Rotten Davis have a sister - Agnes, who is never mentioned in the remaining audio episodes.

Rush has a thing for Mildred Tisdel it seems; he sometimes walks her to and from school.

35-02-22 Vic's Dinner Invitation to Mr. Buller

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

We're delicious!

Mis' Brighton and Mis' Chilly are expected to visit Sade this noon.  Sade has baked some "dainty, little white cakes" (with the obvious help of Crisco) for the ladies and makes it clear to Vic and Rush that they can only have the leftovers.

Vic announces he will dine lightly.  He's ordered beef punkles and Limber-schwartz cheese from Mr. Croucher, which he intends to cook and feed to Mr. Buller this eve in the kitchen while Sade entertains in the living room. However, Sade's concerned about the strong odors from the cheese. She suggests to Vic that he move his dinner to the Butler House Hotel.

Vic announces he'll cook in the basement.  Sade's not happy about this.  But Mis' Brighton calls apologetically, wanting to postpone her visit until next week.  She and Mis' Chilly heard about Croucher's special.  Beef punkles and Limber-schwartz cheese are Mis' Chilly's favorite foods!  Sade tells them to come ahead.  When she calls Croucher's to order more beef punkles and cheese, she finds they are sold out, so she offers to allow Vic to feed Mr. Buller the "dainty little white cakes" and she can feed the beef punkles and cheese to her lady friends.

SCRIPT (Part 1) (Part 2)

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TRIVIA:

* We previously knew that Miss Kinney was Rush's Latin teacher in High School, but we find out (suspect, anyway) here that she was also a teacher at his Junior High.

Vernon (imagined)

* Vernon Alberts is a character I would like to know a lot more about.  We have very little to go on, but oddly, his father doctors him.  It appears as though he was only in episodes when Rush was in Junior High School; however, we know his father was a veterinarian and the young boy seems to take his cue from that.  Everything we know about this kid is animal-related -- and not in a good way.

* Wanting to "eat light", Vic was planning on eating "bread and milk for lunch.  (This could be cornbread and buttermilk...).

* Mis' Chilly is Mis' Brighton's sister-in-law.

* Mis' Drummond's first name is Ida.  "Bulldog" is her son; he was a nemesis of Rush during the first few years of the show.  The Drummond's never move (they are around in the 'Russell years') but for some reason, Bulldog is never mentioned in the later (post-1938) scripts/audio.

* Vic comments that Mr. Buller "just about goes mad" over Limber-schwartz cheese and beef punkles.  And you know, who doesn't?  According to Vic, he and Buller plan to eat the deli delights for an hour-and-a-half.

* It is inferred in the script that beef punkles give off a stinky odor when they cook, as the word "offended" is used in relation to the guests having to smell the odor, not to mention "horrible reek"; even uncooked it "smells terrible" (Rush).   As a matter of fact, it smells so bad, Sade instructs Rush to put Vic and Buller's food outside on the porch! And, much like Stingyberry Jam, it is said the punkles "crawl" all over the house (certainly a knock on it's odor).

* The cheese doesn't smell good either.  We get a glimpse into Rush's child activities when he talks about the smell of the slaughterhouse.  You can just see those young scallywags wandering down there for fun and amusement.

* Dan Quayle = doofus, right?  This script, and many others, show that writer Paul Rhymer often misspelled 'potato' with an 'e'; either that, or the 'e' was commonplace and acceptable in the Midwest at one time.  Yet, Quayle (from neighboring Indiana) is an "idiot" and Rhymer is a "genius".

34-07-04 But Mom, It's the Fourth of July!

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

• It's the Fourth of July and Rush wakes Vic at 5 in the morning. Vic had said he wanted to get an early start so Rush is being helpful. His parents are horrified at the earliness of this wake-up call. Sade's furious and Rush tells her he only meant to wake Vic. Sade wants to know why. He wants to ask Vic how to light a Chinese Choker. It's got fuses on both ends.
• Sade's horrified that Rush intends to shoot off fireworks so early. She sends him back to bed. Vic insists he wanted to rise at seven. Rush said he doesn't remember that. Rush protests, saying that it's patriotic to celebrate early. 
• Sade mentions he'd likely wake up Mis' Fisher. Rush says you have to expect to get woke up early on the Fourth of July. 
• Vic's tired of listening to this debate. Sade tries to send Rush back to bed again. She warns: just don't shoot off any firecrackers. He wants to know what time he can start -- he then suggests 5:45 would be reasonable. Sade says he can start when the alarm clock goes off at seven. Rush intends to wait in the hall outside their bedroom so he's sure to hear the alarm.
• Sade's awake and muses aloud, wondering what Mis' Brighton will wear at the exhibition baseball game.  Vic's fed up and suggests he'll call Mis' Brighton at five a.m. to ask her. Rush returns to check the alarm clock.  
• Vic's disgusted, and Sade reminds him that when he was a boy he and Adolph Walters put a chunk of dynamite in a water-spout an' … Vic: "You can pick out one sin in everybody's life."  Sade: "How about the time you an' the farmer boy stood out behind the minister's house at midnight an' pounded on a tin washtub til the constable… or how about the Fourth of July you kids took the bunch of roman candles an' went up on the roof an' shot ‘em at…"
• Vic and Sade settle to return to sleep when Rush is heard from the other room: "Hi, Joe! Happy Fourth of July!"
  Sade: "He's talkin' to the milkman." Rush lists his fireworks inventory for Joe; the milkman leaves.
• Rush returns to check the time again.  Sade tells him not to holler anymore. Rush agrees to sleep on the floor outside their room so he'll hear the alarm.
• Sade raises an issue with Vic: whether Mis' Brighton will feel slighted being invited to eat at the park rather than at the Gooks' home.
• Sade points out Rush is asleep on the floor. She's afraid he'll get a crick in his back and be lame all day.
• Sade suggests they set the alarm off and shoot fireworks.
  She reminds Vic of "the time you and Herman McGillicuddy an' Wheeler Evans took a milk bottle full of gunpowder an' put it underneath…" Vic concedes. Sade sets the alarm off. Rush wakes: "Here's that doggone Chinese Choker! Got a match?!" - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason

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In a 1934 world where about the most fun a kid could have was to go to the movies or listen to the radio, imagine having a stock of fireworks for the Fourth of July!  It must have been like Christmas.

44-08-16 A Dandy Picture of Vic

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE

Vic is going to be featured once again in the Kitchenware Quarterly. Vic says they botched his picture and bio in the current issue (a missing episode?) but they have apologized and plan on making up for it in the next issue. He's at the house seeking the perfect photo to send in.

Meanwhile, Sade is expecting company and wants the house spotless. She's handed Russell a dust cloth but he seems reluctant to actually do any work.  The two stories go back and forth.

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Not-so-memorable episode but fun none-the-less.

In the end, the best photo of himself that Vic can find is one where's hanging upside-down from a tree. He'll send that in and ask them to print it upside-down.

Trivia:

+ It's Mis' Brighton and her brother Willard that are coming over to see Sade.  Mis' Brighton is a particular housekeeper, according to Sade and this is why she is so set on having the house being perfect.

+ Despite the fact that Hank Gutstop is gainfully employed and has been for months, Russell attempts to tell Vic that he saw Hank at the Illinois Central depot (and though he is interrupted and we never hear the whole story, we might suspect that Russell saw him asleep there; Sade has seen him asleep there often.)

+ When Vic starts to go through the photos in the window seat, he finds there are seven photos of himself wearing women's hats. There's another of him sitting in Sade's lap.

+ Among the other photos is Steve Chestbutter riding a bicycle. There's another with Vic and Ike Kneesuffer and someone named I. H. Zee. Still another photo of Vic, Charlie Razorscum and Ike sleeping on a roof. Finally, there's a photo of Vic sitting on the garbage box.

+ Russell has to be barked at for dusting while sitting and then another time while laying on his back!

+ Kind of odd... the Brick Mush man calls and wants to know if they are in need of any brick mush.  In another episode where cleaning was also the priority (44-06-09 The Lunges are Coming) the Brick Mush man makes himself quite conspicuous, ringing the doorbell and asking if he can change his shoelaces on the Gook front porch.  Makes you wonder about writer Paul Rhymer's thought process...

Russell thinks Uncle Fletcher might be at the house - taking a vacation from a vacation from a vacation: {{{HEAR}}}

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

43-12-27 Invoice Preparations

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE 

Vic is busy trying to get some invoices done and Russell is home making life miserable for him.

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Few things will disturb your math worse than a fierce rabbit.

A re-working of the 39-09-06 Office Invoices script and this version is actually much better.

Trivia:

+ An uncle bought Heinie Call a rabbit: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Russell contends he is 14 years old and has blue eyes. No one on the show seems to have any other color of eyes than blue.

+ Vic uses the following nicknames on Russell in this episode: Dr. Sleech, Sam, Roscoe and George - all nicknames Vic used on Rush in prior episodes. To make matters more obvious that Russell is a "pseudo-Rush," Russell talks to a woman (Mis' Whippon) on the phone who knew him when he was a baby.

+ When Mis' Brighton comes to visit at the end of the episode, she brings her son Williard with her.  Recall that in a previous episode Sade referred to Willard as a "close, comfortable friend."

P.Q. Ribber's take on this episode (((hear)))

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

43-11-10 Eight Million Jobs

STARRING: BERNARDINE FLYNN AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE 

Sade is busy around the house but is being constantly interrupted by the phone, the door and Russell.

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A better than average episode, mainly because Russell puts in a better-than-usual performance. Otherwise, not much here.

Trivia:

+ B.B. Baugh calls to ask Sade if she will represent him as his agent in selling his stingyberry jam to the Thimble Club ladies. She refuses.

+ Russell refers to B.B. Baugh as "Ba Ba Boo."

+ Russell came in the front door to bring in the mail; even so, he was asked twice why he came in the front door (coming in the front door is a Gook household no-no.)

+ A man comes to the door wanting to fix the Gook piano; of course they don't own a piano.

David Whitehouse as Russell

+ While the beef punkles are cooking, Sade tells Russell twice to poke them to see if they are tender and also tells him to add water; this scenario tells us that the punkles are being braised. This indicates that punkles are a cheap cut of beef that must be "pot roasted" to make tender. (We certainly have assumed this all along but now we KNOW for sure.)

+ Someone calls for "Fat." (We assume it was  for "Fat Jackson.")

+ Croucher's (telephone #8987-J) has a delivery boy named "Irvin."  One of the better moments of the episode is hearing Russell talk smart to him on the telephone: {{{HEAR}}}

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

42-08-06 Christmas Cards C.O.D.

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY,  BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade - always on her toes to deflect Christmas card salesmen (especially during the summer months) is tricked into purchasing a set of cards from her niece, Euncie Helfer, who has deviously(?) mailed the package C.O.D.

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Sade doesn't really know if she was intentionally tricked or not. One might say then that if this really was a trick by Euncie, it worked perfectly.

Don't put it past Euncie to be devious. Recall in an earlier episode she put a nix to the letter-writing that Sade and her mother kept backing her into a corner -- by writing letters at an alarming rate.

Trivia:

+ Despite the fact that a set of the Toldeo, Ohio Christmas cards have always been ten dollars, Sade only had to pay $2.46 for her set from Euncie. Is that just the postage? We'll never know.

+ Sade received all the free gifts that come with a purchase of the Christmas card sets: a coupon entitling your initials to be pasted inside one of your hats, a coupon for one hour's worth of free parking in Toledo, Ohio and a coupon for three free handshakes from anyone you choose out of the telephone book of the St. Paul, Minnesota telephone directory.

+ Since the last episode about the selling of Christmas cards, the following people have taken up the job: Euncie, the Brick Mush man and Beulah Feeple.

+ Sade was wanting to put the Christmas cards away in the bottom buffet bureau drawer. Recall that the drawer has been relegated to a lot of items precious to Sade but also a lot of junk in the past.

+ Before she can put the cards up though, Rush wants to purchase them and give them to his friends.

+ Sade and Rush discuss the fact that "Sade is not a comical person."

+ Vic is away on an inspection tour for Consolidated Kitchenware.

+ The show's original ending has the organist playing Christmas music (this is an August episode.)

Rush and Sade read off some of the new '42 cards (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

CHRISTMAS CARDS

Before the advent of email and animated websites, people used to celebrate important occasions by using the postal service to send each other decorated pieces of sturdy paper, often featuring some sort of encouraging or celebratory verse. These notes were called "greeting cards." Do you remember them? Electronic communication has made them less prevalent, though they can still be purchased if one knows where to shop. They provided the recipient with a token of good wishes more permanent than a telephone call, or an email. Back when Vic and Sade was being produced, greeting cards were a principal way to commemorate important occasions.

Of course, I'm being facetious. Even today, the greeting card industry is far from dead. At one time, though, greeting cards were such an important part of life that they were available, not only in shops, but from enterprising friends and neighbors. A reader could hardly open a magazine without seeing advertisements for sales kits from greeting card companies. On Virginia Avenue, greeting cards – or more specifically, their sales agents – regularly figured in the adventures at the Gook home. Those magazine ads for greeting card salesmen must have been especially effective in that town. At least five of the neighbors compete for Christmas card sales, and at least five surviving episodes describe their attempts to sell cards to Sade. She is a reluctant customer, partly because she doesn't like to be coerced into a purchase, and partly because of the social politics that would be involved (after all, if she buys from one neighbor, she could offend the other ones.) She also objects to the idea of buying Christmas cards in the summer, which is when the sales pitches begin. But, most of all, Sade has no use for the absurd sentiments the cards express. They range from the insipid ("Give me a kiss and make me feel fine / This is Christmas Nineteen Thirty-Nine") to the offensive (". . .The Christmas season's here again / If I had a club, I'd smash your shin.") Even the premiums are no inducement. No one in the family has any use for an hour's worth of free parking in Toledo, Ohio; or has a desire to shake hands with any three inhabitants of St. Paul, Minnesota, listed in the telephone book. Though it's a great strain on Sade, she is able to resist the sales agents' overtures.

That is, until her young niece Euncie pulls a fast one. Maybe it was youthful naïveté, or a calculated ploy to unload her stock, but her method was to send her unsuspecting aunt a package, cash on delivery. When Sade pays the fee, she finds she has bought a box of Christmas cards. Naturally, this selection of cards has the most awful mottoes of any of them, including such warmhearted expressions as "You're ugly and stupid and mean as a fox / I wonder what old Santy will dump in your socks." Sade would never use greeting cards like these.

Now, I've always enjoyed this episode, for the observation Paul Rhymer makes, through the voice of Rush, about how men communicate. Rush points out that, when men want to show affection for each other, they do it through insults. Even Vic and his close friends frequently refer to each other as "horse thieves." The harsh expressions in these cards are, in fact, masculine endearments. To me, this was a revelation! For years, I had been troubled by the nasty things men say to each other. Even upstanding churchmen will jokingly impugn each other's intellect or character. I won't say I entirely approve of such conduct, but at least the reason for it is now clear. It really is a guy thing!. Rush then proves he is on the right path to manhood: he arranged to buy then from Sade, for use with his own circle of friends.

So, thanks to Rush, we learn that cutting cruelty can sometimes be rough kindness. In that spirit, I extend to you, at Christmas and always, this heartfelt wish:

I wouldn't' trust a rattlesnake like you any further than I can throw a rock.

Still and all, however, I hope you find two dollars, or its equivalent, in the toe of your shabby, worn-out sock! 

-  Sarah Cole 

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42-03-xx Mis' Applerot's Petition

{{{HEAR}}} STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY,  BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Mis' Appelrot works up a petition to close down the Bright Kentucky Hotel. Reminding the Thimble Club members that the hotel was condemned years ago, she calls the building "ugly" and a "firetrap."

Mis Appelrot then nominates Sade to take the petition around town - only Sade could care less about the project or the hotel.

Meanwhile, the hotel is the residence of many people who interact in the lives of Rush and Vic and neither - especially Rush - want to see the hotel tampered with.

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Sade insinuates that the Thimble Club should stay out of social matters and politics and stick to sewing and gossiping.

Trivia:

+ The Thimble Club meeting took place at Mis' Trogle's house.

+ While Mis' Appelrot brought up the petition, Sade stated that Mis' Brighton was also in cahoots. This makes the 3rd or 4th time Sade has stated the two together as being troublemaking partners.

+ Ruthie Stembottom quit the Thimble Club in episode 41-01-24 Mr. Ruebush Has to Wait and until this episode it was not known if she had rejoined. There is evidence in this episode that she did indeed rejoin the club.

+ Sade calls her gavel a "gravel" - this will be a major piece of information in a future episode.

+ This episode contains one of the funniest stories in the whole series. Sade tells the story of Martin Jordle and how his wife (Alvira Eggsock-Jordle) signed a document that eventually got him arrested and sent to prison. (The end of the story is the best part!) {{{HEAR}}}

+ The Bright Kentucky Hotel was condemned in 1922!

+ Dottie Brainfeeble (who will become very instrumental in future episodes) was mentioned again. She must have been pretty good friends with Martin Jordle as she sent him fudge while he was in prison.

+ The petition is one that Rush won't sign (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

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41-09-17 Don't Help Dust, Uncle Fletcher

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade, determined to clean the downstairs, must endure Uncle Fletcher's clumsiness and bothersome repartee. Finally, she gives up and goes shopping.

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This is the first instance so far where anyone shows annoyance with Uncle Fletcher.

Although his intentions are commendable, he's all thumbs and a bit of a nuisance in this episode.

Trivia:

+ Sade has four telephone calls in the episode, all asking her to go to the Yamilton's washrag sale. The callers were: Ruthie Stembottom, Mis' Trogle, Mis' Brighton and Mis' Donahue.

+ Ed Huller is mentioned for the first time. He runs the gas station. His replacement is Ollie Flice (also mentioned for the first time.)

+ Tom Yarder is mentioned for the first time.  He's a grocer in Dixon, Illinois and was one of the first in that town to get a telephone.

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41-04-xx Company Coming, 13 People

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN, BILL IDELSON AND CLARENCE HARTZELL

Sade: As Uncle Fletcher would say, "Fine!" 
Uncle Fletcher: Fine!
At the last minute, Vic tells Sade he's got company coming. Steve Chestbutter and A. J. Spence are coming over for a lodge meeting.  Sade has company too, as she has invited over Mis' Brighton and her brother, Willard. Of course, things get more complicated from there as Mis' Donahue calls and says she has company and Mr. Donahue needs to sleep and asks if he can come over and catch some nap time at the Gooks. Immediately after the telephone call, Uncle Fletcher shows up and has news that he invited Mis' Keller's daughter and husband over to meet Sade.

But that's not all. Rush arrives and reminds Sade he had invited Blue Tooth Johnson, Leland Richards and Vernon Peggles to study algebra. Sade had completely forgotten about that. Not only does that make more guests at the house, it also creates a dilemna as to where Mr. Donahue is going to sleep (Sade had planned on him sleeping in Rush's bed.)

Sade then finds out that Fred and Ruthie Stembottom have decided to come over under the impression that they will be playing, "500" with the Gooks.

So how many is that? {{{HEAR}}}

WHAT MIS' CROWE SAYS:
The Gooks’ residence is the most happening place in town tonight. 
Since we usually see it with just 3 or 4 people in it, it’s fun to imagine Vic and Sade’s little house so crowded with guests. I like how none of the family seems put out by any of this, even though the crowd is totally unexpected. They’re just ready to have a good time.

One notable bit in this script is the concept of “people who are company” vs. “people who are not company.” Mis’ Brighton and Willard don’t count as “company” because they’re “comfortable old friends,” and Chestbutter and Spence don’t count as “company” because they’re frequent visitors on Lodge business and are “as common as old shoes”. Fletcher doesn’t count as company because he’s part of the family. I’m guessing that Rush’s pals don’t count, either, and certainly not Donahue, who frequently visits to nap in Rush’s bed, or Fred and Ruthie, who are over at the Gooks’ to play cards almost every night. The definition of “company” must be “someone entering your house for whom you have to change your ordinary behavior.” Florence and Emmett Upscutch, strangers to the Gooks, are probably the only ones of these 13 guests whom Vic and Sade consider “company." 

There’s a hidden little joke in this script that the characters do not acknowledge: the reason Donahue is coming over to sleep at Vic and Sade’s in the first place is because there is company at his house – Mis’ Donahue’s sister and several of her children. I wonder what kind of sleep Donahue will get in Vic and Sade’s bed, with 15 other people in the house!

 SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

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This fun show ends in the best way possible!

Trivia:

+ We find out that "Mr. Spence" (of former episodes and a roomer of Mis' Harris) is actually named, A.J. Spence. We also find out also he is a lodge member in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way. I have gone back to previous episodes he was in now and changed "Mr." to "A.J." to reflect our new-found knowledge.

+ Sade calls Willard an "old, comfortable, easy friend." Until this episode, Willard had only been mentioned once in the surviving episodes, as a guest at Ruthie Stembottom's party. Why Mis' Brighton's brother is a big deal to Sade, we may never know.

+ Mrs. Keller's daughter and her husband are Emmett and Florence Upskutch.

+ When Sade is contemplating where Mr. Donahue can sleep, she says, "He generally balks at sleeping in our (Sade and Vic's) bed." Since she used the word, "generally" doesn't that lead us to believe that Mr. Donahue has been over a number of times to sleep at the Gook house? While not completely absurd, it seems that the Donahues put quite an imposition on the Gooks at times.

+ Evan was mentioned for the first time. All we know about him is that Ruthie was over at his house.

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40-10-27 Hot Soup

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade tells Mis' Brighton about Vic, who has a very mild case of the sniffles. As the day goes on, Mis' Brighton has told others and others have told others and before the Gooks realize it, the neighbors have inundated the Gooks with three telephone calls and three bowls of hot soup for Vic, who is feeling fine.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic is coming down with a cold, or that’s the news that has spread around town, anyway.

I’ve written previously about the theory of “Vic and Sade” as the original “show about nothing,” and I think this episode is particularly Seinfeld-esque. Humor in both “Vic and Sade” and “Seinfeld” is based largely on the quirks of human behavior. “Seinfeld” takes place in urban New York, a setting known for behavior that some people might think of as rude, so a lot of “Seinfeld” plots revolve around the characters’ terrible behavior or their obsessions with some perceived slight. “Vic and Sade,” by contrast, takes place in a small town in the Midwest, a place known for what some might consider to be excessive politeness that borders on passive aggression, so a lot of “Vic and Sade” plots revolve around this other side of human interaction. Whereas Seinfeld’s New York City might be characterized by a lack of human connection, leading to selfish and callous behavior, Vic and Sade’s small town is characterized by too much connection and too little privacy. In short, the two shows have similar philosophies of humor, but different settings: in one environment, we get “no soup for you,” and in the other we get a rain of unwanted soup, but both cause the main characters considerable distress.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

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Trivia:

+ Myrtle Guller had not been mentioned before this episode. Her husband can't read or write.

Click image to ensue pseudo-hilarity

+ Mis' Beamon was mentioned for the first time. She lives on West Elm Street. She informed Ruthie Stembottom that Vic was ill.

+ Mis' Hettles called the Gooks to ask about Vic's health.

+ Mis' Oglethorpe was mentioned for the first time. She informed Mis' Trogle that Vic was ill.

+ Russell Duncan was mentioned for the first time in the surviving audio. He is a friend of Rush and Rush was anticipating a phone call from him.

Vic jokes about being ill: {{{HEAR}}}

Hear the Vic and Sadecast about this episode

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