Search This Blog

36-03-04 Vic Sings Lodge Songs

  • (The original Paul Rhymer script is marked "unseasonal, for emergency use")
  • Vic: (singing)  I'm a happy, happy man:  I love my brotherhood.  I help The poor and feeble, and I'm always kind and good.  The Sacred Stars of the Milky Way is the lodge I like to serve.  It's regulations are mighty fine, from them I will not swerve.  So come, my brothers, let us dance.  Let's clap our hands with glee.  For the Sacred Stars of The Milky Way we'll always… 
  • Sade comes in admitting she thought maybe he was being murdered, not singing.  He good-naturedly tells her he was singing "Happy Men With Hearts Of Gold" from the Official Lodge Songbook he just received.
  • Vic tries another song: "The Last Drop Of Blood in My Body is Yours, Sweet Lodge", sung to the tune of "I'll Steer My Ship To Heaven While the Joyous Wavelets Play."  Sade corrects him.  The title is "I'll Guide My Bark to Heaven an' Go Swiftly on My Way."
  • Vic (sings): Jolly lads, quick come to me; a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, the organization we love so well.  ‘Twas founded in 1833 by six wise men so true.  Their names were Howard Conk, J.N. Dupe, L.W. Rotmyer… 
  • Another song: "I Wear My Insignia On My Watch-Fob an' It's Symbol in My Heart" to the tune of "Marching Through the Forge." Sade believes it's "Marching Through Georgia."
    Another: "I'd Love To Have A Dollar For Every Good Wish I Have For You, Sweet Lodge" to the tune of "Uncle, Dear Uncle, Stop Beating Me Now."
  • Vic has invited Hank Gutstop and Ike Bushel over to work out the tunes.  Ike will bring his accordion.  Sade puts The ki-bosh on the evening, having invited Mis' Brighton and Mis' Willard to call.  She won't have those tramps in The house while her friends are There.
  • Vic asserts he's the boss by singing, Jolly lads, come quick to me – a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, the organization we love… 
  • Sade tells Vic to phone and un-invite Hank and Ike. Vic tells her not to get excited.  They'll stay to themselves in the kitchen while they are in the living room.  Sade forbids it.
  • Vic: "Aw, what's the use of makin' a fuss?  For all you know Mis' Brighton and Mis' Willard might take to Hank and Ike like a horse takes to cheese.  Hank can sing ‘em a song.  He makes people cry when he sings ‘How Sorry I Am I Choked My Gray-Haired Mother.'"   Sade: (snort)    Vic: "I'll get him to sing, ‘Indiana's Got Its Wabash, Pennsylvania's Mountain Tips,  But I'd Give the Mississippi For A Kiss From Your Ruby Lips.'"
  • Sade's adamant that he phone Hank and Ike to cancel.
    Bitterly, he agrees, and angrily he sings, Jolly lads, come quick to me, a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, the organization we love so well.  ‘Twas founded in 1833 by six wise men so true.  Their names were Howard Conk, J.M. Dupe, L.W. Rotmyer, Anderson… - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason
What would be a very fine episode is messed up a bit by the founders of the lodge being Howard Conk, J. M. Dupe, L. W. Rotmyer, Anderson (and 2 others) rather than just R.J. Konk.  How in the world did that change?

The songs in this episode are classic Vic and Sade and belong in the lore of stories you'll tell your kids, along with Rishigan Fishigan, the Hinks, etc.

Rhymer had a thing for watch fobs, shoestrings, barbers, coronets and other stuff.  I always love it when the watch fob is used in a lodge song...

There's another thing that seems to have changed (maybe) and that's the fact that Mis' Brighton was to come over with Mis' Willard; Mis' Willard was never mentioned again but Mis' Brighton's (probable) son Willard was mentioned many times over.  Willard was always tagging along with Mis' Brighton, so you wonder what exactly is going on there?  Is this something that just evolved or since this was an "emergency script" is this something that maybe Rhymer jotted down one day without much thought?

Still, this script is full of jewels and gems and it's not hard to overlook the inconsistancies when you realize this was an "emergency script."


  1. And I thought "Would that these Pale Hands Chrysanthemums Might Gaher" and the "Victor R. Gook Fontanel" were funny! Thank you so much for making this synopsis available!

  2. Only glad to do it! The real credit though, goes to Barbara Schwarz who went through all the scripts.