40-11-22 Third Lieutenant Stanley - Bright Kentucky Hotel

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 
In an episode that will remind you of 42-03-xx Mis' Applerot's Petition, Sade comes home from her Thimble Club meeting upset that Mis' Appelrot hijacked the ladies with a silly petition to knock down the Bright Kentucky Hotel.

SEE THE SCRIPT
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This is actually the earlier of the two scripts and it appears as though the scripts are similar, there was a major re-working done in the other script.

This script does not include Rush saying over and over, "I will not sign!" (the petition) but he does allude to the fact that Uncle Strap and Mr. Gumpox would be out of a job and a place to live, respectively.

This episode is also full of Rush reading from an unnamed Third Lieutenant Stanley novel.  He reads:
Third Lieutenant Stanley gave the villainous crew of counterfeiting smugglers one supercilious glance. Then his eyes softened as he turned and gazed at the oval face of Lady Margaret. The beautiful woman smiled bravely, revealing twin rows of perfect teeth the rich color of old ivory. Her hand trembled slightly as she twirled her dainty pink parasol and her small foot in its fashionable French spat tapped nervously. Third Lieutenant Stanley touched her arm. "Let us share a hug an' kiss before we fight these miserable wretches," he grunted. Nothing loath, the beautiful woman lifted her veil an' thrust her lovely head forward. Jabbering amongst themselves, the counterfeiting smugglers watched the exchange of tender caresses an' there was a burst of rude laughter as Third Lieutenant Stanley began to cry. "Sweetheart," he blubbered, "Five minutes from now I may be dead. But, sweetheart, I want you to know that my love for you transcends everything in...   The handsome young officer faced death valiantly. "You fellows can go jump in the creek, I'm not scared," he growled to the leader of the counterfeiting smugglers. But for Lady Margaret he had a sweet smile an' eyes that twinkled merrily. "Give me one more kiss an' one more hug before I kick the bucket, sweetheart," he gloated. The beautiful woman simpered and coquettishly pretended that the mother-of-pearl buttons on her fashionable French spats had come unbuttoned. Finally, blushing furiously, she lifted her veil an' thrust forward her lovely head. "Just one hug an' one kiss now," she warned an' Third Lieutenant Stanley howled loudly his satisfaction an' approval.
The best part of the book was a part he did not get to read, but instead, gives us the juicy details:
The counterfeiting smugglers try to murder Third Lieutenant Stanley by tying him to a tree an' smearing melted marshmallow all over his clothes an' releasing two grizzly bears from a cage. Grizzly bears are very fond of melted marshmallow so it looks like curtains for Third Lieutenant Stanley.
While in the world of Vic and Sade, ridiculous things happen to all of the characters, the things that happen to them must not break the laws of physics or nature - that is, the world of Vic and Sade is a real world.

The world of books and motion pictures, however, go beyond ridiculous, even in the world of Vic and Sade.  The marshmallows and the grizzly bears are an example of this, as are most Third Lieutenant Stanley novels dealing with animals.

There is a story in this episode about Mr. Gumpox that is well worth pointing out.  Rush explains:
He'll be asleep an' a fast passenger train'll flash by the Bright Kentucky sixty or seventy miles an hour an' by George the building starts to shake from the vibration an' he'll ride all around the room in his doggone bed just like you'd ride around in an automobile. One time he rode right outta the bedroom into the hall-way. Woke up the next morning in the hall by the fire-escape, thirty-five feet from the spot where he'd retired.
In an audio interview conducted in the 1970's, Jean Shepherd relayed this same story, but confused Gumpox with Rishigan Fishigan. [There may have been an episode like this about Fishigan, but consider that we know that Fishigan lived on the penthouse floor and the ground floor would be much closer to the trains than the penthouse.  It is also inferred that Fishigan was the only roomer on the penthouse floor.  So we assume that Shepherd was simply incorrect.]

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