40-09-13 Christmas Card Salesmen - the Twins

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic gets a package in the mail from Robert and Slobert Hink.

Surprise!  It's a Christmas card sample book and Sade couldn't be more thrilled (I'm being sarcastic, of course.)

SEE SOME DIALOGUE AND THE SYNOPSIS

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There are no surprises here; the cards are ones fans are already familiar with (after all, almost everyone on the show sells them.)

As a matter of fact, a few of the usual running jokes show up here as well: beef punkles not done because they were delivered late in the morning, free cole slaw at pool hall post card, Mr. Donahue sleeping/boys be quiet, and the Latin lodge nonsense.

Overall, this episode seems run-of-the-mill at best; it's probably better described as a re-hash of prior, somewhat tired, scripts.

Trivia:

+ Mr. Croucher weighs about 250 pounds.  "He's all beef", according to Rush.

+ Sade refers to the Hink twins as "Hobart and Slowbart Fink."

+ Sade lists most of the Christmas card salespeople that are listed here.

44-04-10 Back Porch Small Talk

STARRING: BERNARDINE FLYNN AND CLARENCE HARTZELL

Sade and Fletcher are chatting on the back porch on a warm spring day.
Sade's mind is on the beautiful weather, Fletcher's mind is on Virgil L. Guthrie's interesting life.

When they both speak at once, Fletcher says it means "one of us is going to take a trip to Detroit, Michigan." By the end of the episode they're up to nine trips to Detroit, Michigan.

According to Fletcher, Virgil L. Guthrie was a good deal like Ted (Fred) Stembottom: same shape head and same color complexion - married an Independence, Missouri woman 37 years old. When he was 41 years old his papa bought him a violin and hired a stylish music teacher and bought a music rack and had his oldest daughter make him a velvet pad full of sand to rest his chin on, but he couldn't master the instrument for love or money. He tried and sweat and scraped and worried and clawed and bit and yelled and stewed and moaned and... He made the music by hitting himself on the head with the violin and opening and closing his mouth, but it was sort of a hollow sounding, gurgly, coconut shell kind of music, but it caught on with the public. He would pass the hat after 15 or 20 solos and maybe show a profit of 5 or 6 dollars in a single evening - the tragedy was that it damaged his health. He wanted to give good measure for his pay and perform good loud music so that the spectators standing way back in the crowd could hear it, so he hit himself extra hard - his wife had to apply a fresh bandage after every concert. He eventually grew a little simple and childish from hitting himself on the head so much.

The original script had 14 pages, we have 12 of those pages here:

See the partial script (opening) (part 1) (part 2)

38-11-25 Hank's Christmas Scheme

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic and Rush are impressed with Hank Gutstop's idea to wrap, then hide Christmas presents from families and then deliver them on Christmas, dressed as Santy Claus.  Sade, though, is unimpressed.

SEE SOME DIALOGUE AND THE SYNOPSIS

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You can see that Vic's fake attitude towards the undone meat (pretends he is mad) and it is the impetus for future jokes about the meat not being done, such as when he tells Sade on numerous occasions that she should [paraphrasing] "pack your bags and quit the premises."  Of course, there's never a lunch episode where they don't have to wait for the meat to cook.

The Santy Claus scheme by Hank isn't a bad one but I worry how much business he'd garner by charging fifty cents a package. Ten cents seems to be a much more reasonable rate.

The boys think it's a reasonable rate while Sade disagrees.  When in doubt, always take Sade's side.

This episode doesn't seem particularly funny but it's part of the 1938 formula of episodes so much that "hearing" this one isn't hard to do if you try.

Trivia:

+ This episode was broadcast the Friday after Thanksgiving, 1938.

+ Although I hesitate to call 1938 an "early episode" this is one of the rare early episodes where Sade is actually sarcastic.

+ Even in 1938 Sade really dislikes Hank Gutstop.  This episode has an all-time great zinger in it from Sade when she says: "I wouldn't dirty my shoe kicking him downstairs."  Come on Sade, tell us how you really feel.

+ There's another great line in this episode from Rush: "I bet if mom was drowning in the Atlantic Ocean an' Hank Gutstop rescued her an' saved her life, she'd say, "ish".

35-02-22 Vic's Dinner Invitation to Mr. Buller

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

We're delicious!

Mis' Brighton and Mis' Chilly are expected to visit Sade this noon.  Sade has baked some "dainty, little white cakes" (with the obvious help of Crisco) for the ladies and makes it clear to Vic and Rush that they can only have the leftovers.

Vic announces he will dine lightly.  He's ordered beef punkles and Limber-schwartz cheese from Mr. Croucher, which he intends to cook and feed to Mr. Buller this eve in the kitchen while Sade entertains in the living room. However, Sade's concerned about the strong odors from the cheese. She suggests to Vic that he move his dinner to the Butler House Hotel.

Vic announces he'll cook in the basement.  Sade's not happy about this.  But Mis' Brighton calls apologetically, wanting to postpone her visit until next week.  She and Mis' Chilly heard about Croucher's special.  Beef punkles and Limber-schwartz cheese are Mis' Chilly's favorite foods!  Sade tells them to come ahead.  When she calls Croucher's to order more beef punkles and cheese, she finds they are sold out, so she offers to allow Vic to feed Mr. Buller the "dainty little white cakes" and she can feed the beef punkles and cheese to her lady friends.

SCRIPT (Part 1) (Part 2)

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TRIVIA:

* We previously knew that Miss Kinney was Rush's Latin teacher in High School, but we find out (suspect, anyway) here that she was also a teacher at his Junior High.

Vernon (imagined)

* Vernon Alberts is a character I would like to know a lot more about.  We have very little to go on, but oddly, his father doctors him.  It appears as though he was only in episodes when Rush was in Junior High School; however, we know his father was a veterinarian and the young boy seems to take his cue from that.  Everything we know about this kid is animal-related -- and not in a good way.

* Wanting to "eat light", Vic was planning on eating "bread and milk for lunch.  (This could be cornbread and buttermilk...).

* Mis' Chilly is Mis' Brighton's sister-in-law.

* Mis' Drummond's first name is Ida.  "Bulldog" is her son; he was a nemesis of Rush during the first few years of the show.  The Drummond's never move (they are around in the 'Russell years') but for some reason, Bulldog is never mentioned in the later (post-1938) scripts/audio.

* Vic comments that Mr. Buller "just about goes mad" over Limber-schwartz cheese and beef punkles.  And you know, who doesn't?  According to Vic, he and Buller plan to eat the deli delights for an hour-and-a-half.

* It is inferred in the script that beef punkles give off a stinky odor when they cook, as the word "offended" is used in relation to the guests having to smell the odor, not to mention "horrible reek"; even uncooked it "smells terrible" (Rush).   As a matter of fact, it smells so bad, Sade instructs Rush to put Vic and Buller's food outside on the porch! And, much like Stingyberry Jam, it is said the punkles "crawl" all over the house (certainly a knock on it's odor).

* The cheese doesn't smell good either.  We get a glimpse into Rush's child activities when he talks about the smell of the slaughterhouse.  You can just see those young scallywags wandering down there for fun and amusement.

* Dan Quayle = doofus, right?  This script, and many others, show that writer Paul Rhymer often misspelled 'potato' with an 'e'; either that, or the 'e' was commonplace and acceptable in the Midwest at one time.  Yet, Quayle (from neighboring Indiana) is an "idiot" and Rhymer is a "genius".

32-09-21 Restart Excercising (Underwear By Mail Order)

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

• Sade has trouble getting Rush out of bed. He asked to be wakened at 7 and now regrets it.  He and Vic plan to start exercising together.  Rush protests: "A fella really shouldn't get outta be too fast.  It's bad for the liver and…"
• Rush doesn't intend to wear a shirt: "It's better to exercise naked."
• Rush bets he could sleep from Christmas Eve 'til after the Fourth of July.  Sade says if he did that he'd miss Christmas presents and fireworks: "Better go to bed the day after Christmas and get up the day before the Fourth."  Rush: "Sure. Then I'll get all my Christmas presents on Christmas, go to bed, and wake up and shoot off a lotta firecrackers."
  Sade: "Better tell your friends to give you firecrackers for Christmas.
• Rush goes off to wake Vic. He reminds Vic of their agreement to exercise. Vic cheerfully starts to get up but begins to drift back to sleep. Vic suggests Rush exercise, and he'll watch, offering helpful advice.
• Rush threatens to sit on Vic's stomach, Then he threatens to involve Sade.
• Sade wants to know: is Vic up and exercising?  He shouts double-talk, wants to know if breakfast is ready.
• Vic suggests The exercise program should be started tomorrow. He says he feels stronger already. Sade calls them to breakfast, hopes they're not too worn out to eat. Rush says they're fine and turns to find Vic's still not out of bed.  - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason

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Unlike some of the other earlier episodes from 1932, I can actually see this one happening.  Missing are the worries that have plagued the Gooks in earlier episodes.

This episode contains the very funny Rush-Sade exchange about buying underwear via mail order (the bathtub, water etc.).

Audio Re-creation by American Radio Theater

32-07-13 Five Dogs Arrive

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY AND BERNARDINE FLYNN

• Vic has brought home a dog that Mr. Ruebush has bought for him.  
• Mis' Hess over on Virginia Avenue also sent them a dog that morning, a Boston Terrier who's in the kitchen. 
• Sade gets a letter saying the Meadows boy, Victor, is arriving tomorrow.
• They're excited, and they laugh over Mis' Fisher's nosiness.
• Another dog arrives, sent by Emil Croucher.  This is the Croucher who runs the market/butcher shop that we know so well from later episodes.
• Vic admits his secretary, Miss Lutz, intimidated him as he'd never dictated a letter before. He realizes he needs to get up to speed on the job, but when the boss gave him the dog, he used the excuse to get away from Miss Lutz.
• Yet another dog arrives, sent by Stanley Fogarty, the man at the gas station – another Boston Bull.
• Vic practices dictating letters to Sade but stops at the salutation. Sade suggests he write the letters on his shirt-cuffs and read them to Miss Lutz. Vic loves the idea.
• An unknown man pushes another dog in the door and leaves. the dog looks mean, and now, with five dogs in the house, they're a little upset.
• Mis' Fisher snoops around the back door as the five dogs fight in the kitchen. - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason

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The Vic we "know" is very rarely intimidated (although he surely has a problem with women intimidating him, think of the many times Sade has done so and remember his fear over Mis' Korkel's football-playing, desk-smashing mother.)  Add in the fact that Vic never talks about his mother or sister (if he has one.)

His new job and new secretary intimidate him.  It's kind of hard to fathom, since we know that Vic goes on to become the head of his lodge and is a big man around town.  Maybe Vic is secretly a misogynist?

Although not specified by Barbara Schwarz, we assume the dogs were a gift for the coming Victor Meadows (Rush.)  Everyone in town seems to have gotten the same idea.  

Mis' Fisher seems like she could really present a problem to the Gooks - IF they were doing something they didn't want her to know about.  But it seems their life is pretty tepid and therefore, Mis' Fisher is worth a laugh rather than being angry about.

44-09-05 Sade's Debtors

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY AND BERNARDINE FLYNN

Sade tries to figure out who owes her money and how much.  She gets Vic to help.

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In another episode, Russell and Vic talk about Sade being tight-fisted. While she's not selfish, she certainly proves in this episode that she keeps track every penny owed to her.

This episode is full of interesting trivia.

Trivia:

spondulicks

+ Mr. Croucher (ie. Croucher's grocery store) is actually a butcher. Croucher's grocery is probably a butcher shop that also sells other items. 

+ The cost of a single brick of mush costs ten cents. The Brick Mush man adds three cents to each brick for "tax," yet the money goes into his pocket. The Brick Mush man is called, "shrewd" by Sade but it's pretty obvious that he's actually a crook.

+ Mis' Call is the kind of person who doesn't want anyone to owe her anything and doesn't want to owe anyone anything.

+ Mis' Donahue likes pecans on her chocolate ice cream.

+ Mis' Otto and her young son Clarence were mentioned for the first time. Clarence is obviously Cracky's younger brother.

+ Sade uses the word 'spondulicks' twice in this episode, making the 5th and 6th times in the surviving series.

+ The owner of Kleeburger's is Mr, Kleeburger and this was the first time he was mentioned by name.

+ Sade and Mis' Heddles made a bet about which side of the street a house was on. The house in question was an odd number address. Sade said she won the bet because odd numbers are always on the right (that's incorrect, they are on the left) - however, they were probably going down the street "the wrong way" meaning everything was backwards. Either way, the bet was only for a penny!

This episode confirms that Mis' Heddles is a member of the Thimble Club.

+ The Greek has a weighing machine outside his confectionery.

+ Russell wears neckties to school.

+ Sade is owed a total of $9.82 by her friends; $9 of which is owed to her by Ruthie Stembottom, who is afraid to pay up because her husband Fred will notice the large amount.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

44-08-08 Russell in Charge of Howard

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE

Mr. Gumpox is traveling to St. Louis for a couple of days and has asked Russell to take care of his horse Howard while he's away.

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I can only imagine the excitement of being able to be 14 years old in 1944 and be asked to take care of a horse. Russell has plans to take advantage of the situation, including riding him around town, which Sade warns might get him bit.

Trivia:

+ Vic and Sade are playing Rummy; it takes more than a minute and a half for Sade to make her first play. She seems confused about the rules of the game, despite the fact she's played the game many times. She says she's afraid she has confused the rules with rules of other card games.

+ Sade says that the Thimble Club ladies sometimes play (the card game of) Flinch.

+ Mr. Gumpox has relations in St. Louis.

+ Howard has a sister named "Marie." Marie was not mentioned among Howard's other relatives in the earlier episode, 41-01-21 Demise of Bernice. This seems like a definite continuity issue. (However, it seems show writer Paul Rhymer threw continuity out the window of the show anyway after Bill Idelson went into the Navy.)

This error seems larger than the others though, since the earlier episode is probably one of the best-loved of all surviving episodes.

+ Marie pulls a coal wagon for the Herman Davis Company. The Herman Davis Company (first time mentioned) is obviously the name of the coal mine which was mentioned in 44-07-10 Collection of Personal Treasures.

+ We find out more about Howard in this episode: he's a very gentle horse, is very intelligent and has a delicate constitution. Vic called him a "noble animal."

+ Russell has plans on riding Howard to the coal mine to visit his sister, Marie and also plans on riding to Mildred Tisdel's house as Mildred wants to show off to the neighbors.

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41-04-04 Dinner Invitation Withdrawn

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNADINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

The Gooks are invited at the last minute to a big meal over at Mis' Harris' rooming house only to be uninvited again before they can leave the house.

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Though there was total confusion, I don't see how Mis' Harris can univite the Gooks.

Episode is loads of fun for listening to Vic complain about having to remove his easy slippers and put on a suit.

Trivia:

+ Mr. Breep was mentioned for the first time. He's a roomer at Mis' Harris' house and is also (probably) a lawyer.

+ Dinner at the Harris house was to include steak, biscuits, ice cream "and all the tasty trimmings."

+ Rush inquired whether Mis' Harris would be making "trick mashed potatoes that look like rice" - I wander what he was talking about?

+ The Gook meal included meat (beef punkles?), potatoes, raisin bread, pickles, olives and watermelon.

+ The easy slippers that Vic was wearing had tassels and Indian heads on them; he had gotten them from his in-laws, Bess and Walter Helfer.

+ Before they are about to leave, Sade wants to make sure the front door is locked. There was a time when middle America did not bother to lock their doors but by early April 1941 (the time of this episode), Americans were being rounded up in Germany and Italy, spies were being spotted all over the globe and the world was becoming a smaller, more crime-ridden place.

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40-03-29 No, Vic, No Trip to Chicago

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 

Vic wants to "slam up to Chicago" for some lodge fun/business rather than go to Ruthie Stembottom's party. Though he tries hard, Vic is unable to break the chain that binds him to Sade and the party. So the lodge and Chicago will have to wait.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:

Vic acts hurt and defensive in this episode, but all Sade wants to know is that Vic has a good reason for missing the social event at the Stembottoms’, and Vic just won’t fess up. He is awfully cagey about his reasons for going to Chicago, giving hypothetical example after hypothetical example instead of coming right out and saying why he wants to go. My guess is that Hank Gutstop is directly involved in this trip. We know it has something to do with the Lodge. We know Hank phoned Vic earlier that day at work, and this desire to go to Chicago seems to have come on quite suddenly. We also know that Vic tends to hem and haw and dance around the subject of Hank Gutstop every time he needs to broach it with Sade. If the trip has something to do with Hank, it would explain why Vic is so reluctant to tell Sade his reasons for going. 

I have to contradict Rush’s assertion here:

SADE: Gov talk to you any about him goin’ to Chicago?
RUSH: No.
SADE: Never mentioned what he wanted to go to Chicago for, did he?
RUSH: Uh-uh.
SADE: Wonder why he wanted to go to Chicago.
RUSH: Got no idea.
SADE: Hmm.
RUSH: Heh. You never give him a chance to explain.

In fact, Sade directly asks Vic, and Vic refuses to spill the beans:

SADE: Well, let’s finish this. Ruthie’s got our promise we’ll be there tomorrow night. She’s bankin’ on it. All right. Now tell me what’s more important than that that’ll drag you to Chicago.
VIC: I think perhaps I’d be the best judge of anything that drug me to Chicago.

I gotta take Sade’s side here. Plainly he’s up to no good.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

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Whatever awaits Vic in Chicago is never said (and Vic is never given a chance to explain - instead his pleas are simply answered with a "no." Add in the fact that Vic never does tell the truth and starts several sentences with: "Suppose ...") Therefore, Vic's own deceit kind of ruined the trip for him.

Intermingled with Vic trying to weasle his way to Chicago is Rush reading from Interesting Facts about Darkest Africa (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

Trivia:

+ Foster's (presumably a grocery market) is mentioned for the first time. The grocer there is Mr. Cratcher Not to be confused with Kroucher's market.)

+ Groceries that Sade wants from the store: potatoes, package of salt (the little size-size), half dozen bananas (if they're nice,) one box of matches, prunes (the kind in the package,) a dozen fresh eggs, 6 cans of corn (if they still have that sale on.)

+ People that are going to attend Ruthie's party: Mis' Brighton, Williard (first time mentioned for him), Mr.and Mrs. L.W. Royce (first time they are mentioned.)

+ Mis' Weakens calls Sade and invites the Gooks to a Glee Club recital. This is the first mention of her or her daughter, Trix Weakens.

+ Consolidated Kitchenware Plant #14 is in the plant's Corn Belt Region.

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