36-02-01 The Pink Lodge Robe with Silver Bullets

Vic's new lodge robe is "simply beautiful"; it's pink, with fur and real silver bullets sewn throughout.

The title is one I have provided purely for identification purposes.

[The gist of this episode is revealed in the book,Vic and Sade on the Radio: A Cultural History of Paul Rhymer's Daytime Series]

xx-xx-xx Sky Brothers Initiated in Sade's Precious Home

According to fan mail to the show, Vic once initiated Sky Brothers "in the upstairs region of Sade's precious home".

We have no way of knowing the date of this program, but we do know it was before March 13, 1943.

36-12-01 Melvin Needs To Borrow Vic's Lodge Robe

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade mentions Ruthie Stembottom and Fred's brother Melvin Stembottom visited this afternoon. Melvin's got a three-week job playing Santa Claus at Yamilton's. Melvin demonstrated the art of baby-talk. They stopped by to see if they could use Vic's lodge robe as a Santa Claus outfit.

1936 advert (Click to enlarge)

Vic is appalled at the idea. Sade says it wouldn't get damaged as Melvin would be inside the whole time and sitting still as an oyster.

Vic keeps his sense of humor but still sends Rush off to fetch Volumes 3, 7, 9, and 10 of his lodge library while Sade emphasizes that having the costume might make the difference whether Melvin keeps the job or not. Vic (reads): "Our founder, R. J. Konk, once said, Huius ad valorem sunt divisa in agrorum hunc. He meant, ‘No other warrior shall use my shield. My banner is my own until I die.'"

Sade thinks they ought to return some of the favors the Stembottoms have done for the Gooks. Vic prepares to offer further logic from Volume 7.

SEE SOME DIALOGUE AND SCRIPT SYNOPSIS

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Please click on and read the skillet ad above; it adds a dimension to the script synopsis, since it was incorporated into the script (as will future Crisco advertisements).

TRIVIA:

* Part of Vic's existence is arguing with the neighbor men. Sometimes Vic will argue with Mr. Donahue, sometimes it's with Charlie Razorscum or sometimes it's with Mr. Drummond.

* And what would they be arguing about?  Well baseball for one thing.  But just two days prior to this broadcast, the headline in the Milkwaukee Journal paper was:

November 29, 1936

* Five years before the attack on Pearl Harbor, Maxim Litvinoff seems to have known something quite vital.  Since the U.S. and President Roosevelt were isolationists (*), it could be they were arguing about this.

[Oddly, Litvinoff, an anti-fascist Russian diplomat, was fired shortly after making this statement.]

* It's December 1936 and now R. J. Konk gets his rightful place as founder of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way.  Nine months earlier and Konk wasn't Konk and five others were musically taking considerable credit for his grey-eyes-magically-turning-blue mystical journey.

* It appears this script has one of the driest endings possible for Vic and Sade.  However, that's near-impossible to know without actually seeing the script.

44-05-03 Russell Has Three Bosses

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN, DAVID WHITEHOUSE AND CLARENCE HARTZELL

Putting up the swing is a ritual

It's time to put up the porch swing and Russell is elected.  Despite plenty of others around to help (Sade, Vic and Uncle Fletcher), Russell must do it alone.  Why?  Because he's one rotten little trivial laborer, that's why.

SCRIPT (part 1) (part 2)

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Russell is at his best when thoroughly agitated.  It's shame we can't hear this one.

I imagine the ritual of putting up and taking down the porch swing was used for an episode backdrop most every year that Vic and Sade was on the radio.

TRIVIA:

* This episode implies that the Husher family lives on Virginia Avenue and is near the Gook house.  Also, the McForper family live on Virginia Ave. (To my knowledge, this is their only time mentioned).  The McForper's left their porch swing out during the winter and it's deep into spring in this episode; Sade considers this a knock on their housekeeping.

* Lodge devotee Honky J. Sponger was mentioned a few times in the script; one time his name was typed as "Honky G. Sponger".

40-09-13 Christmas Card Salesmen - the Twins

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic gets a package in the mail from Robert and Slobert Hink.

Surprise!  It's a Christmas card sample book and Sade couldn't be more thrilled (I'm being sarcastic, of course.)

SEE SOME DIALOGUE AND THE SYNOPSIS

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There are no surprises here; the cards are ones fans are already familiar with (after all, almost everyone on the show sells them.)

As a matter of fact, a few of the usual running jokes show up here as well: beef punkles not done because they were delivered late in the morning, free cole slaw at pool hall post card, Mr. Donahue sleeping/boys be quiet, and the Latin lodge nonsense.

Overall, this episode seems run-of-the-mill at best; it's probably better described as a re-hash of prior, somewhat tired, scripts.

Trivia:

+ Mr. Croucher weighs about 250 pounds.  "He's all beef", according to Rush.

+ Sade refers to the Hink twins as "Hobart and Slowbart Fink."

+ Sade lists most of the Christmas card salespeople that are listed here.

35-04-17 Lodge Library

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic is the owner of his own lodge library, which he has purchased at a discount rate.  But no matter how much of a discount he got, Sade's not happy.

SEE THE SCRIPT (page 1) (page 2)

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What we encounter here is the first time of many for the Lodge Library, which holds, for us, countless smiles, titters and guffaws.

This script seems to border on boring, to be blunt, but I believe writer Paul Rhymer did this on purpose - and he also withheld any and all funny business inside the books - so that he could employ them with wacky fraternal surprise the next times they would be used.

It's my guess that the Lodge Library would be used at least an average of once a week for the rest of the series.  That's a lot of episodes.  And a lot of mileage he got out of the endless pages.

Not pleased...

Oddly, the always-important Volume VII is not mentioned in this episode, and the books themselves point to John B. Rafunnel, Ira Guppy, James L. White and T. Lester Konk founding the lodge in 1857.  This differs than the song Vic sang in 1936 (Jolly lads, come quick to me, a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, the organization we love so well. ‘Twas founded in 1833 by six wise men so true. Their names were Howard Conk, J.M. Dupe, L.W. Rotmyer, Anderson...)  And, of course, later, R.J. Konk would be ''rightfully'' credited.  Maybe an episode existed about a smooth, engraved stone that was found within the city limits of Sweet Esther, Wisconsin, that prove R.J. Konk was the true founder.  We may never know.

Trivia:

+ Vic lives in the "Ratfunnel" Belt; this seems to be the Great Lakes area once frequented by John B. Ratfunnel. 

+ A joke, or not a joke? (((hear)))

41-12-09 Hank Appointed Lodge's Best-Looking Man

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic has news to tell that he knows will bring Sade's scoffing and ridicule: Hank Gutstop has been elected as the lodge's Best-looking Man!

SEE THE SCRIPT (part 1) (part 2)

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There's really not much to this script; it's just an excuse to put down the lodge and Gutstop. Sade doesn't think Hank is good-looking at all, and the ritualistic way in which he was chosen (blonde boy pulls his name out of a hat) is just a reminder of just how silly the lodge can be.

Trivia:

+ Rush mentions that he was reading about counterfeiting parachute jumpers in his Third Lieutenant Stanley book.

+ Gutstop was at the Lazy Hours Pool Hall playing bottle-pool.

+ Rush is bursting with knowledge again about the various idioms his parents are dishing out.  However, they could care less.  Rush seems to know his idiom sources quite well.

+ Instead of borrowing funds from Vic to buy new clothes, this time Hank just wants to borrow Vic's nice clothes (but not his socks).

+ Cuddy Jackson was mentioned. A member of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way lodge. He stands four feet, eleven inches tall, is bald and has no teeth.

+ This episode aired two days after the attack on Pearl Harbor.  You wonder what kind of mood the listener may have been in and if this episode made them happy or if they even cared?

42-09-07 Kansas Expulsion Assignment

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic's been given the opportunity to travel to Emporia, Kansas to expel the Exalted Big Dipper of the Taurus Rampant Chapter (E.W. Smith.)

The problems begin when Sade finds out that Vic must pay for 80% of the travel costs.  Vic is willing to absorb those costs, but is stopped in his tracks when he finds out that Smith is noted in his lodge library as being violent.

SEE THE SCRIPT (PART 1) (PART 2)

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Trivia:

+ Alvy Trogle's brother lives in Emporia.

+ Sade once again uses the archaic spondulix, a word used often by Charles Dickens, as she is somehow apt to do.  Not too long after in the script, writer Paul Rhymer has Van Harvey use, discomfiture, a 15th century word meaning embarrassment. Being curious, I looked up the word and it's association with Dickens.  On the first Google page, I found six different Dickens' stories that used the word; I didn't bother going further.

On the other hand, Sade uses the amusing word, squillionaires.

+ The biography of Smith: Before reforming, Sky Brother Smith was associated with the Mankel Brother's Big-top Freak and Novelty Show, where he acted as roustabout and general utility man.  Because of his quick temper - which he has never been able to control - Sky Brother Smith underwent a personal terrible encounter with his employer, the latter spending eight months in the hospital.  After a year's stay at a penal farm in Arkansas, where Sky Brother Smith faced a false mayhem charge, he joined the pugilistic arena, successfully knocking out such well-known figures such as Horrible Howard Higginson, Iron-man Lester Noovel, Stone-head Williams the Eskimo welter-weight, and Fried-egg Chalker, now dead.  Sky Brother Smith's fierce and sudden temper brought him further trouble when he attacked, single-handed, six Detroit truck drivers and managed to injure them all so severely they were...

XX-XX-XX Marching Team Assembly

Vic waits for the arrival of members of the All-Star Marching Team, who have all finally agreed to get together in one place and at the same time, to march.

We know though, from past experiences with the lodge and especially the marching team, that things will eventually crumble.  It's no different here; as time nears, Vic begins to receive telegrams that tell of reasons why his fellow teammates won't be joining him.  Excuses include: getting hit by a fast passenger train and being run over by a little girl on a tricycle!

This episode was remembered by a Friends of Vic and Sade alumnus.  The date is unknown and the title was provided by me, purely for identification purposes.

XX-XX-XX Toy Soldiers

Out on the porch are Vic and Sade.  Vic is sitting on the steps where he is engaged
with a miniature marching team set (in full regalia) that he has acquired from his lodge.  Sade sees this and needles him about playing with ''toy soldiers.''

Meanwhile, Little Charlie Husher comes over to the steps and annoys Vic (although Little Charlie's voice is never heard.)  Sade points out the obvious -- the child wants to play with the toy soldiers.

Vic is getting upset because Little Charlie won't go away; instead, he inches closer to the soldiers.  Sade implores Vic to let Charlie play.

The ending can't be remembered by the Friends of Vic and Sade alumnus who recalled the story, but suggests Vic may have scooped up his toys and left, prompting Charlie to cry.

The date of this episode is unknown and the title is one I have given it, purely for identification purposes.

43-12-13 Holiday Parade

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE

Vic comes home from his lodge meeting to an unsympathetic family, when he tells them of his parade plans gone awry.

SEE THE SCRIPT (part 1) (part 2)
 

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Vic made elaborate plans for not only the actual parade, but for hours of practice for the members after work each day, leading up to the
parade.  His plans included each member buying a $14 uniform and formations so elaborate, that they would spell out phrases (such as 'Sacred Stars of the Milky Way').

Investing time and money so near the holidays probably was the back-breaker.  Even Hank Gutstop, who had earlier supported Vic's marching plans, eventually bows out.

Sade and Russell give Vic no support and are unempathetic to his disappointment.  While Russell throws questions at Vic that are pertinent, Sade simply derides his plans.

Trivia:

+ Vic claims the Drowsy Venus Chapter has 150 members; yet four months from this airing, there will be just 51.  Is this a continuity problem, or was there a mass exodus?

+ This is the first we've ever heard of Tatman's vacant lot being used by anyone other than the neighborhood boys for baseball or football.

XX-XX-XX Planned Michigan Avenue March

The lodge's All-Star Marching Team plans a grand parade down Chicago's Michigan Avenue; but as the parade nears, members of the team call and

drop out.

Vic is determined to march down Michigan Avenue, even if he has to do it alone.

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An episode that was remembered by a Friends of Vic and Sade alumn.

The episode had to take place after January 22, 1941.

38-05-11 Sade Refuses Simple Hawaii Research

Vic, still preparing for the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way's monumental trip to Hawaii, must contend with Sade's insidious knowledge about the islands.

Though she's ignorant about Hawaii and is being bombarded with nonsensical questions from most Thimble Club members at the meetings, she stubbornly refuses to take a trip to the library to read up on the subject.

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Sade is perhaps the weakest in the area of refusing to research; her personal motto seems to be something like, "Knowledge is needless trash and talky-talk". 

Face it, she just doesn't care about facts and therefore, she doesn't care if she's made a fool of, either.  Sure, we know that Sade isn't stupid, but her ignorance and lack of seeking even simple facts would be enough to make most any husband and son agitated and upset.

The Hawaiian trip (which we can assume never did come to fruition) is still years away but this doesn't stop Vic from dreaming about that glorious week.

The title is one I have given the episode purely for identifcation purposes.

[The gist of this episode was revealed in the book, Vic and Sade on the Radio: A Cultural History of Paul Rhymer's Daytime Series]

37-10-04 Scribe of The Sacred Stars Searchlight

Shot down, per usual

Vic comes home from the lodge with wonderful news... he's been selected to be the Stationary Scribe and Contributing Editorial Factorum to (pre-Lodge Quarterly?) The Sacred Stars Searchlight magazine.

Sade doesn't revel in Vic's joy, but instead points out he's taken on another job that does not pay him.  Then she shows him (from the lodge magazine itself) names of dozens of other individuals that hold the exact same job title he holds.  He is quickly put on his heels by Sade, who privately seems to enjoy killing his feelings of accomplishment, no matter how small. 

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We knew it would end this way;  Vic's joys are almost always snuffed out before they become true happiness and contentment.

His title (and this episode) seem to correlate greatly with 35-xx-xx Vic is Elected to the Congress of Distinguished Americans; I wouldn't be surprised to find this is to be a re-write of that same script (although Bill Idelson may or may not appear in this version).

The title is one I have given purely for identification purposes.

[The gist of this episode was revealed in the book, Vic and Sade on the Radio: A Cultural History of Paul Rhymer's Daytime Series]

43-01-19 New Lodge Catalog, Featuring Dinnerware

Sade is beside herself when Vic's new lodge catalog entices him to consider buying dinner plates with R.J. Konk with eccentric hair styles and colors.  And perhaps, posing in "his underwear".

The dinnerware reportedly has pictures of lodge members (mostly RJ Konk) doing unusual things with their mouths and tongues. 

There re several plates that show Konk with very brightly colored hair ("carroty" orange, green and maroon).

There are odd sayings on the plates that border on repulsive. Being that Vic works at a kitchenware company, you wonder if perhaps the dinnerware in the lodge catalog might have some Vic propellant behind it?

The title is one I have provided purely for identification purposes.

[The gist of this episode is revealed in the book, Vic and Sade on the Radio: A Cultural History of Paul Rhymer's Daytime Series] 

34-04-18 Vic Borrows a Stack of Phonographs

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN  AND BILL IDELSON

The Sisters of the Shining Sea sorority has agreed to lend Vic a stack of phonographs for an hour. He gets the family to follow him into the attic, where he begins to recall favorite songs from his past. With anticipation, he tries to play the recordings, but like most things involving Vic, he encounters problem after problem and his evening of phonograph listening ends in a wasted pool of gravy.

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Trivia:

+ The Sisters of the Shining Sea meet in the space next to where the Drowsy Venus Chapter meets.

+ Some of the songs on the records:

• What Ya Gonna Do When the Rent Comes 'Round? 
• Gives Us a Kiss, Minnie 
• Down in the Land Where the Black-Eyed Susans Grow

The title is one I have provided purely for identification purposes.

[The gist of this episode is revealed in the book,Vic and Sade on the Radio: A Cultural History of Paul Rhymer's Daytime Series] 

38-01-10 Hawaiian Islands Itinerary

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNADINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

The Sacred Stars of the Milky Way have set a date for the members and their wives to go to Hawaii.  It's years away; but that does not stop Vic from writing down the proposed  itinerary.

Doing this sets off Sade and then Rush, who tease Vic so badly that he sets off for Ike Kneesuffer's basement for a game of indoor horseshoes!

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Trivia:

+ The lodge Hawaii trip must have been really big news because it was spoken about in other episodes; roughly a year earlier, Sade and Ruthie were trying to discuss the trip at a Thimble Club meeting, only to be shot down by Mis' Appelrot.

 + Rush is reading a Third Lieutenant Stanley novel but he neither reads aloud nor tells the title.  The only bit we get out of it is that there is danger afoot involving a 15' rattlesnake.

+ Sade's Daily Little Love Story must have been extra exciting this day as she goes on and on about the adventures involved, much like Rush does when he explains his adventure books. It also appears as though Vic sometimes reads the story (remember, this is early 1938) when he reads the paper.

+ This is the episode where Sade says: "As far as I'm concerned, the Hawaiian Islands might just as well be out in the Pacific Ocean."  (Bernardine Flynn had spoken about that line in an interview from the 1970's). ((HEAR))

+ Vic affectionately refers to Rush as: "sewer gas."

+ We find out that Consolidated Kitchenware has a plant in Cheyenne, Wyoming.  A new character is mentioned, George Frothmurder, who works there.

+ This episode resides somewhere in script form, but I don't have the script. But I can point you to a re-creation:

American Radio Theater's re-creation

40-05-xx Hank Gutstop Drummed Out of Lodge

Vic has to drum Hank Gutstop out of the lodge for not paying his dues.

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We can be fairly certain this episode took place because it is mentioned in episode 40-05-06 Working Out Hank's Indebtedness.

[This episode is not to be confused with episode 42-xx-xx Lodge Speech Rehearsal, which appears to be very, very similar.  We know the above episode wasn't referring to Lodge Speech Rehearsal due to the dates.]

 + In an interview in the 1970's, Bill Idelson (Rush) recalls Vic drumming Gutstop out of the lodge and removing his buttons: {{{HEAR}}}

The date given is accurate according to the information, except we have no specific day in May of 1940.  The title is one I have given the episode purely for identification purposes.

40-01-08 The Lodge Cannon

Vic plunks down another fifty bucks, this time for a lodge cannon. 

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Without the audio, it's impossible to know what use Vic had in mind for this device.

We know this episode occurred and it's date because it's mentioned in episode 40-01-22 R. J. Konk's Improved Portrait.

The title is one I have given to the episode purely for identification purposes.

39-xx-xx The Illuminated Eyes of R.J. Konk Portrait

Vic purchases a portrait of Sacred Stars of the Milky Way-founder R.J. Konk.  However, this is no ordinary portrait; Konk's eyes light up.

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Sade hates the lodge and everything associated with it (and you KNOW it's the truth; so when you boil that down, does she really care for Vic?)   He spends WAY too much money on the lodge and this painting...  Sade probably can't imagine what possible good something like this would have.

If you think deeply about this episode (and ones like this in the 1940's that deal with lodge frivolities) you will see that writer Paul Rhymer treated the lodge-happenings much like a cult.  Vic is so devoted to lodge-founder Konk that he is willing to spend his money on a portrait whose eyes light up!   Look at the picture below (of "the real thing") and you can see that two large light bulbs exist where the eyes would be.  Wouldn't one have to be crazy/DEVOTED to purchase such an item and put on the wall?

Was Vic stupid?  Not at all - as a matter of fact, easily the brightest person on the show.  Which proves even more what the power a cult or a cult-like figure can have even over the best of us.

This episode is a big part of Vic and Sade lore. It's very sad that we don't have the audio episode to enjoy.  This episode was big even back in the day, as the cast/crew went out and had a faux portrait of Konk made up for Rhymer.

This painting was mentioned in episode 39-09-xx Mr. Gumpox Offers Sade a Stall.

The date is approximate. The title is one I have given the episode purely for identification purposes.