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Showing posts with label Robert and Slobert Hink. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Robert and Slobert Hink. Show all posts

40-09-13 Christmas Card Salesmen - the Twins

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
Vic gets a package in the mail from Robert and Slobert Hink.

Surprise!  It's a Christmas card sample book and Sade couldn't be more thrilled (I'm being sarcastic, of course.)

SEE SOME DIALOGUE AND THE SYNOPSIS
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There are no surprises here; the cards are ones fans are already familiar with (after all, almost everyone on the show sells them.)

As a matter of fact, a few of the usual running jokes show up here as well: beef punkles not done because they were delivered late in the morning, free cole slaw at pool hall post card, Mr. Donahue sleeping/boys be quiet, and the Latin lodge nonsense.

Overall, this episode seems run-of-the-mill at best; it's probably better described as a re-hash of prior, somewhat tired, scripts.

Trivia:

+ Mr. Croucher weighs about 250 pounds.  "He's all beef", according to Rush.

+ Sade refers to the Hink twins as "Hobart and Slowbart Fink."

+ Sade lists most of the Christmas card salespeople that are listed here.

40-07-31 Lodge Brothers Ask to Make a Stopover

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 
Vic has gotten a letter from Robert and Slobert Hink.  They are making a trek from Hoopeston to Peoria (roughly a 70 mile journey) and wish to visit Vic for a couple of days.  They want to go over parade routines and the like.

Sade doesn't like the Hinks' names, much less the Hinks (though she has never met them.)

Vic acts pleasant to Sade so she will feel like a heel.

SEE THE SCRIPT
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Anytime the Hinks are involved, fun is on the horizon.   The episode may remind you of 42-01-16 The Hinks Go West which ran about a year and a half later (it's not a remake or even a twist of the script but the episodes are somewhat similar.)

The Hinks have just bought a brand new car (more evidence that they are "rich." )

Greek Junk:
In hoc agricola spittle ad semper adsit puellorum hunc. Dim-wit non-disputandum cabbage et cetera. Cornucopia est divisa ob cabbage bop. Sinus trubble sint huious dum cluck...'

later ...

In sunt bello nomenclature itch. Oppo dingy dum hobo hunc. Adsit amor skittle blot. 

xx-xx-xx The Marching Team Disintegrates

Somewhere between September 1942 and early 1944, the All-Star Marching Team totally disintegrated.

You can trace the roots back to when two members where kicked off the team.  Those two members were I. Edson Box and Harry Fie.  Their two replacements were Hermie Wermie (who was no trouble whatsoever, it appears) and E. Tyson Stoogie, who was big trouble. His arrival to the team brought things even further.

The team disintegrated more when Robert and Slobert Hink began undermining Vic and trying to cause trouble; first, they had a get-together in Hoopeston without Vic, then they tried to bribe Hunky J. Sponger to get rid of Vic.
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The date above has to be accurate, although I realize there is more than a year between dates.

The title is unknown and was given by me purely for identification purposes.

44-xx-xx Vic Not Invited to Hoopeston

Vic is hurt and miffed when the Hink twins (Robert and Slobert) invite
everyone on the All-Star Marching Team to Hoopston but him.
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This episode is mentioned at least twice in the audio episodes with the best description here.

No explanation is ever given (in the audio or in the notes) as to why the twins got upset at Vic.

We can be pretty sure this episode took place shortly before July 17, 1944.

The title is my own and is used only for identification purposes.

xx-xx-xx Hinks Drive Power Mower 171 Miles

Vic takes notice of his All-Star Marching Team pals Robert and Slobert Hink when they make newspaper headlines by driving their power mower 171 miles from Moline to Decatur, Illinois.
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The synopsis was taken from an interview from either Clarence Hartzell or Bill Idelson in the 1970's.

The date of the episode is unknown but it may have been 1941 or 1942.

The episode title is my own and is used purely for identification purposes.

42-xx-xx Sade and Rush Take a Phone Call from the Hinks

While Vic is away on business, Sade and Rush receive a telephone call from Robert and Slobert Hink.

The phone call is very much like the phone call from the Hinks in this episode, but unlike the audio episode, it appears the callers are just Robert and Slobert and not all of the other relatives and friends.
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We know this was an episode because it's referred to in the episode (link) above. And we know it took place before August 20th of 1942, probably in July or early August of the same year.

The title is made up by me for identification purposes only.

42-01-16 The Hinks Go West

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
click to enlarge
  • Vic's receives a letter from the Hinks. They're traveling with a double-decker bed.
  • The Hinks have been troubled by head colds for almost a month, and their doctor advised them to go west for a couple of weeks. So, they travel 60 miles west of Hoopeston!  Vic concedes that's not far enough west.  Sade wonders how the climate could be much different 60 miles west of their home town?
  • Vic reads the letter: "Doctor McGaggly told us we would receive enormous benefits from a two-week visit in the western part of the U.S.  We were obliged to inform him that a trip to the Pacific Coast or even to the mountain regions would be out of the question.  However we mentioned your western city.  Doctor McGaggly shrugged his shoulders.  He said we could suit ourselves on the matter.  And so we thought we'd put our double-decker bed in the automobile and head in your direction.  We know, of course, that we are welcome in your home for at least the week it will take us to find permanent lodgings for the other week of our stay." 
  • Sade objects to this idiocy.  Vic and Sade agree he should write and tell the Hinks it's not convenient at this time.  Vic is saddened, and goes off to play indoor horseshoes at Ike Kneesuffer's.  Sade asks Rush if he intends to join the lodge in the future. 
  • "Greek" junk in letter:  "Frater salutay.  In hoc dum cluck sim spittle fop.  Ad vermiform ipso factor spinach alltimus yeesh.  Semi-quaver ex libre dum yum fum.  Occo petravit agricolis cumquat ad iodine fosterly hunk.  Stobob huious equine simplicimus scopalorum non divisia…" - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason
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Good fun here as the Hinks always provide entertainment when involved in a Vic and Sade script, although it all may have been even funnier had the doc told them to go west and they had traveled by their famous lawnmower. At any rate, Robert and Slobert must have been quite the pair.

When Vic is mad or extremely disappointed, he will go to Ike Kneesuffer's house to play indoor horseshoes - as he did at the end of this episode. When Sade is mad or embarrassed at herself, she will jaunt upstairs. Rush doesn't go anywhere when faced with disappointment, but he may pull out the phrase, "a common ordinary, American citizen" for dramatic effect.

This episode has similarities with 42-01-16 The Hinks Go West, although is not a re-used script or a remaked script, it doesn't appear.

46-06-27 Assembling a Piano

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN, BILL IDELSON AND CLARENCE HARTZELL

Uncle Fletcher promises he will revive a thrown-out, chopped up piano so that Vernon Korkell can give Rush piano lessons.
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Welcome to (what I call) "Series 3" of Vic and Sade. The episode is intertwined with a lazy bassoon/fat alto saxophone in almost a cartoonish way. I'm not sure I'm quite enamored with it. The episode in full lasts 30 minutes; about 22 minutes plus when all the junk has been taken out.  All known surviving copies of this episode were already edited, thus this is not my editing job.

"Series 3" has a live audience.

Trivia:

+ Sade's daily newspaper love story has lately been about the Hawaiian islands.

+ Vic reads in the paper that "Mr. Ed McNilch invented a bicycle that could say 'mama.'" This is a big part of Vic and Sade nostalgia. But you may have read erroneously that the man was named Godfrey Dimlock; the below sound clip will prove this to be untrue: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Vic also reads that Mis' Cora Bucksaddle "swallowed a shotgun."

+ Robert and Slobert Hink and Cupid and Stupid Golfbake were mentioned in the local paper, even though both live in Hoopston, which is many miles away. Each couple was mentioned as going to see a Four-Fisted Frank Fuddleman and Gloria Golden movie. Why it was in the local paper is anyone's guess.

+ The actress who plays Mis' Harris in this episode is definitely not the same one who played the part in "Series 2."

+ Vernon Korkell's mother-in-law mowed the ivy off the side of her house, even though her arms got tired holding up the lawnmower and she was on a step ladder....

+ Mis' Keller's dog is named "Elizabeth."

+ B.B. Baugh uses piano wire for suspenders, Pelter Unbleat uses piano wire for an auxilary cord for his automobile.

+ Rush is asked to do his imitation of a man with his head caught in a revolving door at the post office.

His voice register is noticeably lower than the previous time he did such an imitation. In that episode, it was the Brick Mush man who got his head caught in a revolving door.

+ Sade says she was born in Cedar Rapids, Iowa and Uncle Fletcher says he was born in Tomahawk, Wisconsin.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

44-07-24 Robert and Slobert Are Scoundrels!

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE

Vic is upset!

Honky J. Sponger, the lodge secretary from Chicago, visits Vic briefly at the train depot and asks Vic why Robert and Slobert Hink are out to undermine him and his position on the All-Star Marching Team.

Vic learns the twins have tried hard to bribe Sponger into making them the leaders of the Team, going as far as to give him a barrel of cooking apples, homemade mucilage, a gunny sack of cured hickory nuts and $3.00 in cash to have Vic thrown out of power. They also wrote dozens of letters to lodge headquarters.
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Vic is so angry that he plans on writing the twins a blistering letter.

Trivia:

+ In Russell's baseball game at Tatman's vacant lot, he was playing center field.

+ Sade's feet are aching; she bets that she and Ruthie Stembottom walked 5 miles.

+ A rarity: Vic does not give his usual "hi-dee-hi ho-dee-ho" entrance.

+ Vic has a new straw hat.

+ Sade calls Sponger, "Chunky G. Plunger"... {{{HEAR}}}

+ In episode 44-07-17 Marchin' Plans Disappear, we find out there is trouble between the Hinks and Vic but we have no idea what has happened between them. In this episode, we get a fill-in of at least the gist of what happened; the Hinks invited the entire Marching Team to Hoopston, Illinois for some sort of get together - but Vic wasn't among the invited.

+ Sponger tells Vic that the twins have promised Marching Team improvements, including installing gold teeth (uppers and lowers) in each members' mouths.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

44-07-17 Marching Plans Disappear

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE

Vic gets an exciting letter from Honky J. Sponger at lodge headquarters, that proposes a month-long All-Star Marching Band camping trip in Dismal Seepage, Ohio. Such a trip would bring much-needed publicity to the marching team.

Of course, Vic is raring to go, until his family reminds him of the various ailments of other members of the marching team and other things that could go wrong.
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There's not much of anything funnier in the whole series than the All-Star Marching Team. We all know of Vic's enthusiasm for marching and so when he is shut down from this, you know he has to be heartbroken.

Vic doesn't give a second thought of spending the whole hot month of August in a Chataqua tent, with two people to a cot. He doesn't even seem to think about the money lost from taking a whole month off from Consolidated Kitchenware. Face it: the joys of marching are a drug to Vic.

Trivia:

+ Russell says Smelly Clark and Blue Tooth Johnson were almost in a fist fight. We never do learn what caused the anger between the two but the instigator seems to have been Archie McDuffer, a mean, big kid who was at Tatman's vacant lot.

+ We find that Monroe and Lee Streets intersect somewhere near the vacant lot.

+ Among the events we have missed (due to missing episodes) are Homer U. McDancey is in the hospital for an unspecified ailment; Y.Y. Flirch had his foot broken when a fast passenger train hit him and Robert and Slobert Hink and Vic are on the outs - Vic even went so far as to call them, "crooks."

+ The way Sade talked, E.W. Smith may also be a part of the All-Star Marching Team. He would be the 11th member, but someone could have quit or maybe someone lost their position. Russell makes mention that there are [still] only 10 members of the team.

+ Russell read that Dismal Seepage, Ohio reaches an average high temperature of 115 degrees in August and has 80 mosquitoes per square foot of air.

+ At the end of the episode, a dejected Vic goes over to Ike Kneesuffer's to pass time playing indoor horseshoes. Vic often does this when he is disappointed.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

42-09-15 The Silent March

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY,  BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic gets a letter in the mail from his lodge buddy, H.K. Fleeber.

Since the last time we heard about the All-Star Marching Team, there appears to be a bit of a turnover. Gone are I. Edson Box and Harry Fie; they have been replaced by E. Tyson Stoogie and Hermie Wermie!

Can the disintegrated Marching Team make a comeback?  Fleeber has some new ideas...
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It's hard to believe that I. Edson Box and Harry Fie were replaced. I suppose we'll never know why for sure.

Trivia:

+ Roughly the first minute and a half of the episode is missing. In this missing time I'm pretty sure that Rush has been asked by Vic to name off all the members of the All-Star Marching Team.

+ Two new people were mentioned but no explanation of why or who they are: Mis' Moorehouse and Harry Winnie.

+ H.K. Fleeber's personal stationary letterhead has changed since we last heard about it. In addition to the misleading, "Grovelman, South Carolina - the geographic center of the United States" banner, the new letterhead claims that Fleeber is the "First white child born in Grovelman, South Carolina."

Mysteriously, the Fleeber letterhead also contains a depiction of a volcano!

+ The letter from H.K. Fleeber describes both E. Tyson Stoogie and Hermie Wermie as "hearty, intelligent and resourceful."

+ We find out in this episode that J.J.J.J. Stunbolt and Y.Y. Flirch live in a tent (presumably, the same tent) on a vacant lot.

+ This is not the first letter than Vic has gotten from H.K. Fleeber.

+ The episode has "sound bleed" from the tape it was transferred from. It's annoying but it's not so horrible that you can't enjoy the episode, which has nice sound otherwise.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

42-08-20 Telephone Call From the Hinks

STARRING: BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade and Rush must field a most unusual telephone call from Robert and Slobert Hink and their odd wives, their brothers and their girlfriends.

SEE THE SCRIPT
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A terrific and very funny episode, especially the first time you hear it but still laugh-out-loud funny the next few times as well. If the wacky names in the phone conversation won't get you rolling on the floor, the fact that everyone on the telephone thinks Rush is a girl and wants to know how much "she" weighs naked will.

I rank this as one of the funniest episodes; perhaps the best of the lot.

Trivia:

+ Smelly Clark is standing on his head when he calls Rush.

+ The following new characters are introduced in this episode: Bertie and Dirty Hink (younger brothers of Robert and Slobert and just initiated into the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way in Hoopston, Illinois), Bessie and Messy Hink (wives of Robert and Slobert) and Cupid and Stupid Golfbake.

+ This is not the first time the Hinks have called and talked to just Sade and Rush.  There is at least another episode, prior to this one where nearly the same events occurred - but it's one of the missing episodes.

+ Everyone in the Hink household who talks to Rush seem to think he's a girl named, "Ruth." Recall that H.K. Fleeber also thinks Rush is a girl.

+ Sade and Rush feel as though the Hinks must be rich as they can make long-distance telephone calls, send long telegrams and have a lawnmower costing $300.

+ According to Rush, Vic is away on a long business trip. This was during the time Art Van Harvey was missing from the show for a long while because of a heart ailment of some sort.

+ Sade reveals to Bessie that she has blue eyes. We knew this already. She also says she weighs 127 pounds.

+ Rush reveals his eyes are either blue or hazel and weighs 118 pounds stripped.

Rush and Sade discuss the living arrangements at the Hink household: {{{HEAR}}}

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

41-02-25 No Marching for Me

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY AND BERNADINE FLYNN
H.K. Fleeber shares with Vic his intention of starting a Sacred Stars Honorary Ladies' Auxiliary Marching Team. This would include the female loved ones of the current Marching Team - and Sade.

Sade insists she has no plans for marching and doesn't want to be on the team but when she realizes that this upsets Vic and that she actually won't have to do any marching, she concedes.
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
The Lodge has decided to organize a Ladies Auxiliary Marching Team; Sade makes her feelings on marching absolutely clear.

I’ve always believed that a good couple should have mostly shared interests – if not, what are you going to talk about together? Still, individuals in a couple must remain individuals, and it would be boring if there weren’t a few points of contention between them. In a relationship, there’s always something that’s just “my thing” or “his/her thing.” My mother, for example, is an active member of the Society for Creative Anachronism. Occasionally she’ll suggest that my father dress up in Medieval garb and accompany her on one of her trips. He reacts much as Sade does here. I got a similar (but polite and entirely reasonable) reaction when I suggested we attend a weekend adult summer camp based on my favorite podcasting network. We all have interests that no one’s as enthusiastic about as we are, and trying to rope our loved ones into them is sometimes an exercise in futility. Vic, with his enthusiasm for parades, understands this very well, and isn’t really asking anything of Sade besides permission for her name to be on a list, but she’s so afraid of getting roped into marching that she feels she must draw a thick line in the sand right away to head off any possible threat of marching.  My favorite line: “I’m glad to get included in your nice Lodge trash.”

In a previous commentary I wondered why Homer U. McDancy knows so little about modern women. We get one possible answer to that question in this episode: it turns out that he has only one female relative, his grandmother, a healthy and active ninety-year-old (and I think we can safely presume he has no female friends). Sade worries that the Ladies’ Auxiliary is going to be a pretty motley crew, but meeting such a wide variety of women could only do Homer good – if they ever manage to get everyone together in one place, of course.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcription by Lydia Crowe)
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It seems a difficult point to get through Sade's head but the lodge and the All-Star Marching Team is a big, touchy point for Vic. She continually pokes the sore spot and makes fun of it in her sly way.

To Sade, the Honorary Ladies' Auxiliary Marching Team really seems like a dumb idea, especially since there won't be any marching and the ladies are a hodgepodge of victims who probably detest the lodge as much as she but don't want to hurt their male counterparts.

Trivia:

+ Rush is not at home and not in this episode - he's at the Bijou.

+ Sade uses the word "trash" in her description of lodge activities, THREE TIMES.

Here's one occurrence where Sade refers to lodge activities as "trash:" {{{HEAR}}}

+ H.K. Fleeber seems to hold a special place in Vic's heart because he is the only known out-of-town member of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way and employee of Consolidated Kitchenware.

+ Names that Sade gets wrong on the All-Star Marching Team:
+ Here's a list of the women (and their man) mentioned who will represent the Honorary Marching Team:
  • Vic and Sade
  • H.K. Fleeber and his wife
  • I. Edson Box and his grown daughter by a previous marriage
  • O.X. Bellyman and his sister
  • Homer U. McDancey and his grandmother
  • Harry Fie plans to be married in 1948 to Gillie McDermott (remember, this episode aired in 1941!) and she will become a member
  • Robert Hink and his landlady
  • Slobert Hink and his landlady's cousin who lives in China!
+ There were numerous pops and clicks in the sound of this episode but I got rid of most of them.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

41-02-16 Manual for Wives of Sky Brothers

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
The men on the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way Marching Team can do more than march. Take for example, Homer U. McDancey of East Brain, Oregon. He's written a book for the wives of Sky Brothers, a handy guide called, A Manual for Wives of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way.  
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Could the Lodge’s more eccentric members (Robert and Slobert Hink, J.J.J.J. Stunbolt, Hank Gutstop) come from nobler stock than we think? This episode just leads to further questions. All we can conclude about Homer U. McDancy from this episode is that he is incredibly out-of-touch. Most of the All-Star Marching Team, we know from a later episode, are bachelors, but McDancy’s assumptions in this manual about what wives need to know suggest that he hasn’t even met any modern middle-class women, let alone married them. Why this isolation from the larger society? Was his upbringing so far removed from the working class that he assumes all the women are dirty-faced slatterns who never sweep the floor? Or has he just surrounded himself with exclusively male company for so long that it’s warped his perception of things? This episode just adds to the mystery of where all these weirdos in Vic’s Lodge came from. 

I like how puzzled Vic is about how Headquarters let something as silly as this book through their rigorous editorial process. We have had plenty of ridiculous nonsense from Lodge Headquarters before this, so Vic shouldn’t be so surprised, but he does have a bit of a blind spot about his Lodge. Maybe seeing it through Sade’s eyes heightened its absurdity for Vic.
SEE THE SCRIPT
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For only $3.75, Sade can purchase the book. It is full of practical rules that all wives of Sky Brothers should live by.

Trivia:


+ Here are the rules stated in the pamphlet sent by the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way:
 + To be a true and loyal wife of a Sky Brother in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way, Madam will takes pains with the neatness of her person. She will never appear in her husband's presence with soiled hands or a dirty face.
+ To be a true and loyal wife of a Sky Brother in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way, Madam will refrain from stealing property belonging to others, using coarse language and engaging in rough street brawls.
+ To be a true and loyal wife of a Sky Brother in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way, Madam will acquaint herself with The Treasury of Latin Phrases to be committed to memory and recited at meal times. Here are a few typical examples:
in hoc spittle dum cluck eve ad adra cola spinach es spogle raymond beirman ich ickle yam live tax om cornacopia feef
[Recall that Raymond Belcher Beirman was mentioned as a milk wagon driver (and bearer of bad news) in the episode, 41-01-21 Demise of Bernice. Now, he shows up in the middle of a "Latin" phrase!]
Some mashed potatoes Latin...
 {{{HEAR}}}
+ To be a true and loyal wife of a Sky Brother in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way, Madam will see that her home is kept swept and dusted at all times. It is suggested Madam purchase a broom and use it regularly.

+ To be a true and loyal wife of a Sky Brother in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way, Madam will at all times be cheerful, truthful and obedient. She will be on the alert to anticipate her husband's slightest wish.
+ While the book itself is $3.75. you can obtain an autographed book by Mr. McDancey for $4.25. A book and autographed photo of Mr. McDancey in full lodge reglaia for $5.10. And for $6.50 you can get an autographed book and an autographed photo of McDancey in full lodge regalia.

+ When Sade reads the "Latin" for "Would you mind passing the butter, please?" she says:
yah plummer e pluribus humor hoc in hoc signal vini vidi webster stockdale horse if extra curricular feef
+ Sade says H.K. Fleeber sent her a pair of easy slippers at Christmas addressed to: Charlie, Gus, Walter and Margaret. Rush says Mr. Fleeber sent him a pipe with no stem and it was addressed to: Hazel, Eddie, Herman and Fat.

+ Sade mentions that Y.Y. Flirch wears his shoes on the wrong feet (presumably from a non-surviving episode.)

+ There is another Gloria Golden-Four-fisted Frank Fuddleman feature at the Bijou:
Gazing Into Your Eyes Like This is Heaven, Assistant Umpire Drake.
[Recall that the last Gloria Golden and Four-fisted Frank Fuddleman feature we came across also involved an assistant umpire; the ever-popular, I Am Distracted With Love For You, Assistant Umpire Williamson.  That episode aired 26 days prior to this one.]

+ Every current member of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way Marching Team was mentioned in this episode.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

41-01-23 The All-Star Marching Team

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic: 4/16ths of a second elapses rapidly!

The lodge headquarters in Chicago has honored Vic by naming him to the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way All-Star Marching Team. Nine others in the country were also voted to the team and Vic is of course very proud of this.

It's not all peaches and cream though as the other team members are located across the country and practicing could be a problem. And there's always the problem of Sade and Rush making fun of Vic.
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
 
What I love about this is, although Vic, Sade and Rush discuss most of the ridiculous aspects of Headquarters’ plan to have the Marching Team practice separately (the 4/16ths of a second, grown men all across the country marking up the street and marching back and forth all by themselves), they fail to acknowledge the single most ludicrous part of the whole thing, namely:
 ”In order that perfect rhythm be attained, each separate unit will train itself to march at the rate of one stride every 3 and 4/16ths seconds.”
Ish on the 4/16ths of a second. Forget the 4/16ths of a second. THREE SECONDS IS A REALLY LONG TIME! Try it yourself. Stand up and imagine yourself marching to a sprightly Sousa composition and count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi” before you take each step. It is a comically slow pace for a parade. 
For perspective, here’s a video of something I was lucky enough to see (and get stuck behind) during my Study Abroad travels — a Holy Week procession in Palma de Mallorca,Spain. Processions, of course, are not parades, but rather the slow and somber cousin of parades. Holy Week in Spain is a serious and mournful time during which Catholic fraternities fill the streets to commemorate the passion of Jesus Christ. These processions are not meant to be animated, but funereal, plodding and torturous. But count once: they are still taking less than one second for each stride! A parade at one stride every 3 and 4/16ths seconds would make a self-flagellating monk say “Can we please pick up the pace a little?”
This is an excellent trick of Paul Rhymer’s — dropping some absolutely crazy piece of nonsense on the listeners and then having the characters totally ignore it in favor of other minutiae.  I’m sure there are other examples of this in “Vic and Sade.” Can you think of any?
SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)
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When Vic was selected to the Marching Team for his lodge, I just about had a fit.  I found this (and anything to do with the Marching Team) to be hilarious.

Vic, who is crazy about marching (and to him, it's serious business), has to not only put up with ridiculous "marching orders" (literally) but his own wife, who thinks the lodge, the Marching Team and his marching orders from the lodge is ludicrous.

The Marching Team never does work out for Vic or the lodge and further deteriorates as time goes along.  Just as Sade is crazy about washrags, she never buys any in the history of the show that we are aware of - and despite his love for marching, Vic never gets to march in any parades in the whole series.  

These are the kinds of jokes Rhymer liked to play on his audience.  He doesn't have the characters tell jokes - he has them live their lives as jokes. There are other examples of this as well - Sade swears she keeps secrets yet she tells Ruthie every detail about things - to her, this is not telling secrets; Rush can never tell the story about Smelly Clark's Uncle Strap - which is probably a good thing since the whole thing may be set up to be a very dirty story if you read between the lines; Uncle Fletcher who is really not hard of hearing nor senile uses both things to purposely draw attention to himself; Vic, certainly the smartest person on the show and a very intelligent, well-read person who probably had many of the same qualities and attributes as the show's creator, is really nothing but an overgrown, spoiled child  - much more childish than Rush or Russell.

I love the names of the other members of the marching team - to me, this is the absolute best collection of names in the series.

This episode certainly ranks in my top ten favorites. There are more episodes about the Marching Team in the future and the whole concept is hilarious.

There were many sound difficulties with this precious episode; I am pleased to report I fixed a lot of those problems and this may have been one of my better jobs at repair. That's a good thing considering that the sound of this episode is one that truly deserves to be cared for.

Trivia:

The members of the All-Star Marching Team for the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way:
(Other than Detroit, all those cities are fictional, according to Google Earth.)

By the way, I really get a big kick out of Vic here... (listen closely to the tone of his voice. He feels like he must take up for each one of the members of the Marching Team because an "attack" on them is an attack on him.) It almost always cracks me up: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Vic got another delinquent bill from Kleeburger's. Recall that he was all paid up not too long ago.

+ Vic leaves at the end of the episode to go play indoor horseshoes at Ike Kneesuffer's place.

Here's a clip of both Rush and Sade reading the "Latin" in Vic's letter from the lodge. Near the end, hear Bernadine Flynn giggle as she reads (EDITED): {{{HEAR}}}

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