40-11-22 Third Lieutenant Stanley - Bright Kentucky Hotel

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 

In an episode that will remind you of 42-03-xx Mis' Applerot's Petition, Sade comes home from her Thimble Club meeting upset that Mis' Appelrot hijacked the ladies with a silly petition to knock down the Bright Kentucky Hotel.

SEE THE SCRIPT

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This is actually the earlier of the two scripts and it appears as though the scripts are similar, there was a major re-working done in the other script.

This script does not include Rush saying over and over, "I will not sign!" (the petition) but he does allude to the fact that Uncle Strap and Mr. Gumpox would be out of a job and a place to live, respectively.

This episode is also full of Rush reading from an unnamed Third Lieutenant Stanley novel.  He reads:

Third Lieutenant Stanley gave the villainous crew of counterfeiting smugglers one supercilious glance. Then his eyes softened as he turned and gazed at the oval face of Lady Margaret. The beautiful woman smiled bravely, revealing twin rows of perfect teeth the rich color of old ivory. Her hand trembled slightly as she twirled her dainty pink parasol and her small foot in its fashionable French spat tapped nervously. Third Lieutenant Stanley touched her arm. "Let us share a hug an' kiss before we fight these miserable wretches," he grunted. Nothing loath, the beautiful woman lifted her veil an' thrust her lovely head forward. Jabbering amongst themselves, the counterfeiting smugglers watched the exchange of tender caresses an' there was a burst of rude laughter as Third Lieutenant Stanley began to cry. "Sweetheart," he blubbered, "Five minutes from now I may be dead. But, sweetheart, I want you to know that my love for you transcends everything in...   The handsome young officer faced death valiantly. "You fellows can go jump in the creek, I'm not scared," he growled to the leader of the counterfeiting smugglers. But for Lady Margaret he had a sweet smile an' eyes that twinkled merrily. "Give me one more kiss an' one more hug before I kick the bucket, sweetheart," he gloated. The beautiful woman simpered and coquettishly pretended that the mother-of-pearl buttons on her fashionable French spats had come unbuttoned. Finally, blushing furiously, she lifted her veil an' thrust forward her lovely head. "Just one hug an' one kiss now," she warned an' Third Lieutenant Stanley howled loudly his satisfaction an' approval.

The best part of the book was a part he did not get to read, but instead, gives us the juicy details:

The counterfeiting smugglers try to murder Third Lieutenant Stanley by tying him to a tree an' smearing melted marshmallow all over his clothes an' releasing two grizzly bears from a cage. Grizzly bears are very fond of melted marshmallow so it looks like curtains for Third Lieutenant Stanley.

While in the world of Vic and Sade, ridiculous things happen to all of the characters, the things that happen to them must not break the laws of physics or nature - that is, the world of Vic and Sade is a real world.

The world of books and motion pictures, however, go beyond ridiculous, even in the world of Vic and Sade.  The marshmallows and the grizzly bears are an example of this, as are most Third Lieutenant Stanley novels dealing with animals.

There is a story in this episode about Mr. Gumpox that is well worth pointing out.  Rush explains:

He'll be asleep an' a fast passenger train'll flash by the Bright Kentucky sixty or seventy miles an hour an' by George the building starts to shake from the vibration an' he'll ride all around the room in his doggone bed just like you'd ride around in an automobile. One time he rode right outta the bedroom into the hall-way. Woke up the next morning in the hall by the fire-escape, thirty-five feet from the spot where he'd retired.

In an audio interview conducted in the 1970's, Jean Shepherd relayed this same story, but confused Gumpox with Rishigan Fishigan. [There may have been an episode like this about Fishigan, but consider that we know that Fishigan lived on the penthouse floor and the ground floor would be much closer to the trains than the penthouse.  It is also inferred that Fishigan was the only roomer on the penthouse floor.  So we assume that Shepherd was simply incorrect.]

41-01-09 Sade Smashes Mis' Applerot's Wrist-Watch

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

• Sade arrives home from Thimble Club all upset.  Vic is busy polishing his sword – she wants to talk. Rush tries to the Uncle Strap story...
• Sade says she smashed Mis' Appelrot's wrist-watch into a million splinters with her "gravel".  She slammed the gavel down without noticing Mis' Appelrot's arm was between the gavel and the table. Mis' Howard muttered over and over: "Oh my heavens, oh my heavens!" Mis' Appelrot's acting like it wasn't an accident.  Sade's chagrined because when it happened, she laughed.  "...glass an' springs an' wheels flyin'".
• Rush tries to help, telling a story of a fella in Texas that let a ton of coal fall on his grandmother's foot and he laughed so hard he had brain-failure and died on the spot.  Vic puts a stop to this helpful story.
• Mis' Appelrot's arm was in the way because she was reaching over to snoop into Sade's record-book, which is none of her business.
• Afterward, Mis' Appelrot's words accepted the accident, "but her eyes were cold and accusing as a horse."
• Sade says she'll never pick up another "gravel" as long as she lives.  Rush asks, "Isn't the word ‘gavel'?"  Sade will not be corrected.  She moves on to organize dinner.
• Vic (chuckling): "Your mother flourishes a mean ‘gravel'."  Rush (chuckles): "Yes, sir."  Vic: "She's a cute girl." - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason 

SEE SOME DIALOGUE AND SYNOPSIS

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This might be the first episode where Sade used the word 'gravel' instead of 'gavel.'  One of the many, many continuous jokes in the show's history.

If there was one character I would like to hear on the show, I think it would be Mis' Appelrot.  She would not be funny but I think she would make Sade mad a lot and I like it when Sade is mad!

40-11-08 Mis' Keller and Uncle Fletcher to Move to Town

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

• Vic and Rush arrive home to find Sade in a pensive mood. Mis' Keller has just left, having announced that she's renting a house on Kelsey Street, and Uncle Fletcher will be living there as well.
• Rush is delighted as a horse. Sade isn't so sure.
• Vic asks why they've decided to leave Dixon. Mis' Keller's married daughter has settled in town, and she wants to live nearby.
• Vic asks how can Uncle Fletcher tear himself away from Dixon?  Sade says he'd rather do that than tear himself away from the comforts of home.  Vic still wonders how he can tear himself away from his cronies in Dixon.  Sade explains his cronies are just about all gone:  Mr. Wheepman passed away in October. Last year Steve Juggle and P. W. Fleem died.
• Sade's having trouble imagining Uncle Fletcher living right in town, so close to the Gooks. Rush and Vic think he'll adjust quickly.  Rush: "He don't take any raw oatmeal off'n anybody.  Quiet and peaceful a a horse, but some guy rub him the wrong way an' there's liable to be a paste upside the snoot."
• Vic suspects Sade is wary about the move because she has a sneaking idea that Uncle Fletcher will be underfoot all the time. Sade admits, "he's such a cotton-head.  Like some little child. Person worries over him like they would an infant.  Always botchin' stuff up."  Sade feels responsible for him, and she's embarrassed at his riding on the garbage wagon covered in potato peelin's and introducing himself as her uncle.
• Rush answers the phone;  it's Uncle Fletcher, calling long distance.  Rush: "We're all happy as horses about it.  Best news I've heard in a coon's age."  Vic tells Fletcher: "...so I understand, an' I've left word with the sheriff not to let you inside city limits ."  
• Sade decides after all that she's glad Uncle Fletcher's moving to town. - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason

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Having Uncle Fletcher move to town will change the lives of most everyone associated with the family.  Sade's life will change the most as it is like she has another child to watch over.

Mis' Keller's daughter is Florence Upskutch.

41-12-08 The Bottom Buffet Drawer

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNADINE FLYNN, BILL IDELSON AND CLARENCE HARTZELL

Sade is appalled to find Vic and Rush have been using the bottom buffet bureau drawer to stash away all kinds of needless items.

It's her drawer for storing table items (napkins and doilies) for special occasions. 

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A funny premise, made even funnier by Uncle Fletcher trying to figure out what's going on. The only hold up in this episode is the horrible sound.

Trivia:

+ This episode took place on Monday December 8, 1941 - the day after the attack on Pearl Harbor.

+ Items in the drawer: Vic's overshoes, his horseshoe (won 6 games and had 7 ringers in a row with it), a screwdriver, Rush's first baseman's mitt, Rush's easy slippers, an old ice skate Rush had found in the middle of summer on Center Street and old newspapers.

+ Uncle Fletcher is only there for a short visit because he promised Mrs. Keller he'd be home to eat her "special turnip greens."

+ Uncle Fletcher tells the story of Pete Wisher from Sterling, Illinois. All of his clothes from the socks to his tie were all made out of the same material. He later died.  His woman was vexed at him for 27 years...

+ Uncle Fletcher tells the story of Ted Keepers, who was 24 and married a woman of 26. He took violin lessons until he was 57 years old and wasn't able to play a single tune. He liked to play the scales, so he played only scales and he played the scales as good as anyone.

+ Uncle Fletcher tells the story of Rupert J. L. Dunsquat from Dixon; was right-handed up to age 29 then turned left-handed overnight.  He married a woman who was 53 years old; he was 37.

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41-06-09 Letter-writing Plot

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic: Linked together by a chain of loathsome correspondence...

Neither Rush or his cousin Euncie Helfer seem to enjoy being forced to write letters to each other. Euncie, either sensing this or prodded by Rush - seems to have devised a plot that will not only benefit herself but Rush also. She has written four rather mundane letters to Sade, including one via Special Delivery. In the meantime, Rush prods Sade along to answer the letters, much in the way she had prodded him along in the past to do the same.

Sade finally gives up and tells Rush she doesn't care any longer if he answers letters from Euncie or not.

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I'm thinking that it was Rush who provided the letter "bombardment" idea to Euncie. Since all the letters were virtually the same, it does indeed seem like a plot.

Rush reveals to Vic that it's Euncie's idea but I truly wonder...

Trivia:

+ Euncie refers to Vic as "Uncle Victor".

+ Mis' Hettles had been over at the Gook house earlier in the day.

+ Sade refers to Blue Tooth Johnson as, "That Blue Tooth Johnson kid."

+ The Scrawler family has moved in the 700 block of Monroe Street, near Mr. and Mis' Hettles. Mr. Scrawler works in the C and A Shop. You may recall that's the place where Uncle Fletcher was to have the doorstops cut into 400 pound pieces.

+ In none of the letters from Euncie did she mention her father's kneecap twinges.

🎙 Hear the Vic and Sadecast: Vic and Sadecast 080 – The Letter-writing Plot (11/19/17)

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41-01-22 A Very Pleasant Noon Hour

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

It's noon and the Gooks have finished eating. It's time to relax and talk and try not to nod off...

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Just a pleasant lunchtime (or, as they’d say, dinnertime) conversation.

This is a fun episode even though nothing happens in it. I think this one is especially interesting from a historical standpoint — so many “Vic and Sade” episodes are timeless, but this one really tell s us a lot about how people lived in their time. The whole family comes home, eats lunch together, and even has some time to laze around in the living room and chat, a ritual very similar to the Spanish siesta — just a little shorter and with no nap (as much as Vic wants one). This tells us that Vic’s and Rush’s lunch hours were probably a lot longer than those in modern times (most of us get a thirty-minute lunch, and elementary and high school students are lucky to get twenty). Vic and Rush walk home from the office and school, showing us that people’s commutes were much more reasonable back then. Vic expresses shock that Rush, a high school student, “cannot differentiate between Greek junk and Latin junk,” which tells us that the expectations of public school were changing from Vic’s generation to Rush’s — Latin and Greek were probably foundations of a good education in Vic’s day, but not so much now. One detail that surprises me a little is Sade’s mention of a “fancy grocery store” that she will pass by on her errands today. I think of the specialty grocery store as a product of our time, interested as we are today in trying exotic foods and buying organic, natural products. I wonder what kinds of items Sade’s “fancy grocery store” carried, and how similar or different it would be to a Trader Joe’s or a Whole Foods. 
I’m starting to notice that Paul Rhymer uses the “eccentric smart person” trope quite a bit:

RUSH: …He’s funny about stuff. Wears garters but no socks.  Wears a necktie but no collar. Wears cuffs but no sleeves. Wears bicycle pants clips and don’t own a bicycle. Smokes away on a pipe that’s got no tobacco inside.
VIC: Is he a halfwit?
RUSH: Yeah.
SADE: He is not! Smart as a whip. Took all the honors when he graduated from high school. What do they call the fella that does that?
VIC: Valedictorian.
SADE: Sure. No, when it comes to brains, there’s no flies on Frederick Henderson. 

Recall the episode “Mr. Sludge Calls his Mother,” in which we find out that Mr. Sludge — an eccentric if there ever was one — was quite the intellectual in his younger days. I wonder if Rhymer encountered a lot of people who excelled academically but floundered when it came time to enter the “real world.” This is, of course, not uncommon. Maybe Sludge and Henderson ought to have been sheltered in a university somewhere.

 SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

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Uncle Fletcher-type stories, without Uncle Fletcher!

Trivia:

+ Sade says Mr. Erickson was there the day before and this morning also; he is trying to make excuses on how to avoid wallpapering upstairs, including the ruse of informing Sade that there is a shortage of wallpaper and the South Americans are hanging on to their supply.

+ It is inferred that Mis' Heddles lives on West Monroe Street. Mis' Trogle also lives on that street. Sade plans to visit them both.

That street is almost infamous because that is the street where Smelly was accidently hit in the head with a falling hammer.

+ Mis' Heddles is married to Charlie and Mis' Trogel is married to Alvy. Vic knows both of the husbands.

+ It is also inferred that Mis' Trogle either has a daughter or daughter-in-law named Margaret who recently had a child and has some new photos to show Sade.

+ Sade says "slippery as an owl" rather than perhaps the better simile, "slippery as an eel." She then says Mis' Donahue says it too: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Market Street is the home of  a "fancy grocery place", but it went unnamed.

+ Rush seems to like very large black olives.

+ Rush (Billy Idelson) sounds like he may have a cold or some other sinus sickness in this episode.

+ The show keeps incorporating Sade's eccentric Uncle Fletcher, even though he doesn't appear. We know that he actually will appear within 4 surviving audio episodes. Brace yourself!

+ Fletcher may or may not be coming over for dinner at the Gooks. He's hard to pin down.

+ Frederick Henderson is mentioned. He's described as very odd. Wears bicycle pants clips but doesn't own a bicycle, puffs on a pipe without any tobacco, wears garters but no socks, wears a necktie but no collar and wears cuffs but no sleeves. Vic and Rush assume he is a "halfwit", but Sade says he was Valedictorian of his graduating class!

+ People who live in the Henderson household: Al, George, Cora and her man, Henry and his college chum and the college chum's cousin, Edna and her man and baby, Charlie and his wife, the old folks and now Frederick, his wife and two kids.

+ Vic infers that Volume 7 of his lodge "libary" contains R.J. Konk's wisdom about the noon hour, then recites at least part of it from memory, in Latin.  It includes the "Latin" phrase, easy money: {{{HEAR}}}

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41-01-15 Beautiful, Beautiful Wallpaper

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic and Sade are always frustrated at their landlord, Mr. Erickson. He's cheap and wants to take a shortcut or the least-expensive route to every house problem the Gooks have. Sade particularly has trouble with Mr. Erickson and in this episode, he avoids both her and Vic by dropping off samples of some new wallpaper at the Gook house with only Rush there to accept them.

The problem is, the wallpaper is not only cheap but ugly.  Many of the samples display pseudo-psychedlic, headache-inducing graphics or just plain ugly items, like the 2 or 3 mentioned during the show that have some sort of animated primate life colorfully displayed.

To top it off, Mr. Erickson's daughter has picked out "the best ones" and has given her fashion critique to several of the wallpaper samples. Of course, her ideas are a little off-the wall (pardon the pun!)

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic and Sade are struggling with their sleazy landlord Mr. Erickson again — this time on the matter of wallpaper. He’s brought them some options for their upstairs wallpaper, and none of them are good. 

A prime example of Paul Rhymer’s ability to paint hilarious word pictures. The humor in the episode is all visual — it’s about ugly wallpaper. But, much as we don’t need to hear the voices of the show’s secondary characters to appreciate them, we don’t need to see the wallpaper to laugh at it because the images Rhymer creates in our heads through the family’s descriptions and reactions to the wallpaper are funnier than any picture would be. I wonder if he saw any real-life wallpaper that inspired these ideas, or if it’s just a brief journey into madness. 

It’s great to listen to the whole family united in making merciless fun of something. Rush, as the holder of the patterns and the reader of Beulah’s notes, gets to hold court here and employs comic timing and deadpan delivery to entertain his parents (and us listeners). I think this is an especially entertaining episode, and the announcer, who is barely holding it together by the end of the episode, seems to agree with me.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

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 TRIVIA:

+ We finally find out that Mr. Erickson's daughter is named, "Beulah."  In a previous episode, she was simply referred to as "Mr. Erickson's daughter."

+ For the first time in a long while (in the surviving audio episodes), Ruthie calls about playing "500."

Some beautiful, beautiful wallpaper: {{{HEAR}}}

HOW DO YOU PICTURE BEULAH?

I picture her as taking after her father in appearance and volume -- she is a stout woman with an unnecessarily loud laugh -- but not in character.  Her manners are a result of insecurity, rather than domination, and of familiarity rather than choice.  She is not a clever woman, and mimics her father because she knows one other model.  In fact, she most likely has never given her behavior any thought at all. - Sarah Cole

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40-10-27 Hot Soup

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade tells Mis' Brighton about Vic, who has a very mild case of the sniffles. As the day goes on, Mis' Brighton has told others and others have told others and before the Gooks realize it, the neighbors have inundated the Gooks with three telephone calls and three bowls of hot soup for Vic, who is feeling fine.

MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic is coming down with a cold, or that’s the news that has spread around town, anyway.

I’ve written previously about the theory of “Vic and Sade” as the original “show about nothing,” and I think this episode is particularly Seinfeld-esque. Humor in both “Vic and Sade” and “Seinfeld” is based largely on the quirks of human behavior. “Seinfeld” takes place in urban New York, a setting known for behavior that some people might think of as rude, so a lot of “Seinfeld” plots revolve around the characters’ terrible behavior or their obsessions with some perceived slight. “Vic and Sade,” by contrast, takes place in a small town in the Midwest, a place known for what some might consider to be excessive politeness that borders on passive aggression, so a lot of “Vic and Sade” plots revolve around this other side of human interaction. Whereas Seinfeld’s New York City might be characterized by a lack of human connection, leading to selfish and callous behavior, Vic and Sade’s small town is characterized by too much connection and too little privacy. In short, the two shows have similar philosophies of humor, but different settings: in one environment, we get “no soup for you,” and in the other we get a rain of unwanted soup, but both cause the main characters considerable distress.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)

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Trivia:

+ Myrtle Guller had not been mentioned before this episode. Her husband can't read or write.

Click image to ensue pseudo-hilarity

+ Mis' Beamon was mentioned for the first time. She lives on West Elm Street. She informed Ruthie Stembottom that Vic was ill.

+ Mis' Hettles called the Gooks to ask about Vic's health.

+ Mis' Oglethorpe was mentioned for the first time. She informed Mis' Trogle that Vic was ill.

+ Russell Duncan was mentioned for the first time in the surviving audio. He is a friend of Rush and Rush was anticipating a phone call from him.

Vic jokes about being ill: {{{HEAR}}}

Hear the Vic and Sadecast about this episode

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