44-05-31 The Fascinating Allen McClutch

STARRING: BERNARDINE FLYNN AND RUSSELL MILLER
Russell plans to study algebra with Allen McClutch. Allen is the most fascinating character that Russell ever met.
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Allen can make his elbows touch behind his back, he's had his tonsils out twice, he's never been to a dentist, has never tasted strawberries, uses a whole teaspoonful of stickum on his hair on Sundays. Also, a chunk of ice in his mouth don't make his teeth ache, and he's got a grandmother with a black mustache. (Lives at 1218-1/2 West Oakland Avenue, way out past the railroad tracks - if you stroll under the Olive Street viaduct and glance at the concrete abutment you'll see printed in letters 3 feet high in bright red paint the name "Allen McClutch.") In all probability he'll be wearing a bandage on his head, which he does to mystify the public. His father's a machinist at the C & A shops. His family moved from Sanderson, Minnesota. He swallows ice cream without either leaving it melt in his mouth or chewing it. When he uses the telephone in public he holds the transmitter to his ear and talks into the receiver to further mystify people. He enjoys annoying people by poking them in the stomach and saying, "How's the old breadbasket?"

Russell: "Allen McClutch wouldn't any more lower himself to use the back door than a rabbit." - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason

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