Search This Blog

THE SACRED STARS OF THE MILKY WAY

I believe De Tocqueville once said of Americans something to the effect that, when several of them got together, they were sure to form an association. Back before civil authorities took on the responsibility of caring for the sick, orphaned, or needy, and before the era of perpetual amusement, men would form and join fraternal organizations. The Moose, the Elks, the Eagles: there was a time when men commonly belonged to some such group. They offered their members security in times of trouble, fellowship with like-minded men, and a chance to be part of something bigger than themselves

And they gave them prestige. In the world of Vic and Sade, membership in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way was no easy honor to gain. Applicants had to pas a rigorous approval process, they had to pay initiation and membership fees, they had to purchase regalia and learn ritual. But, in exchange, Sky Brothers marched in parades, dressed in eye-catching costume, to the cheers of their fellow citizens, Their names appeared in the Lodge magazine. They received exclusive opportunities for such distinctions as honorary titles, fraternal hospitality while traveling, and personalized pictures with the long-deceased Lodge founder Above all, they gained standing in the community. In a small town, with few chances for social advancement, the terrestrial galaxy of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way gave these ordinary men a chance to shine.  - Sarah Cole

* ALL THE EPISODES ABOUT THE LODGE

MISC. LODGE FACTS
+ The Decoration Day Parade in which Vic was in charge of was actually a lodge event. At one time during the episode, Vic mentions to Sade that she could meet him at the train station with his lodge regalia.

+ Mail from the lodge comes in large, yellow envelopes.

+ Vic was named the "Infant Prince of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way."

+ Vic was named the lodge's Exalted Big Dipper in 1935 and on the same day, Hank Gutstop was elected Little Dipper.

+ Though done by mistake, Sade Gook was named, "Grand Old Lady of the Drowsy Venus Chapter."

+ About every 3 years, styles are officially changed for the lodge regalia.  In 1943, Vic got a letter from lodge headquarters telling him of the 1944 changes. {{{HEAR}}}

+ B.B. Baugh wrote a song about Vic (The Victor R. Gook Fontanelle) and wants it published and put into the official Sacred Stars of the Milky Way songbook.

+ As of December 1943, the lodge has 150 members.

+ As of early 1944, there are 50 members of the Drowsy Venus Chapter.

+ The lodge has a secret handshake.

+ Hank Gutstop was selected to be the lodge's ''Best-looking Man'' of 1941.

+ The Drowsy Venus chapter of the lodge was opened in 1920.

FOUNDING OF THE LODGE

In 1935, Vic shows Sade Volume One of his lodge library, which states: John B. Ratfunnel, Ira Guppy, James L. White and T. Lester Konk... founded the lodge in 1857.

In 1936, Vic sings: Jolly lads, come quick to me, a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, the organization we love so well. ‘Twas founded in 1833 by six wise men so true. Their names were Howard Conk, J.M. Dupe, L.W. Rotmyer, Anderson...

After 1936, the founder is always referred to as R.J. Konk.
GREETINGS
+ The Volume 7 English version of the official lodge greeting for a dignitary:
Oh little frenzied brother of mine, bring your clutching hand and listen for the call of the golden oriole as the maiden stands by the splashing pool as the mischevious tarantella...
+ The "Latin" version of the official lodge greeting for a dignitary:
hic dignitus apolol dum cluck simian hobo pluribus agbicula up que huck spim spittle (defeatus) slob cornicopia ich...
+ The Volume 3 official lodge greeting for a dignitary:
Oh lemon-colored messenger from celestial galaxies, oh sweet-fingered zither player from the skies, let the hem of your garment touch my flesh.  Scream defiance to the yellow stars and kick your heels in savage delight.  Crush a crazy moon between your great white teeth and roll your eyes at the Milky Way.  Stop little brother, while the red...
+ Vic greets YY Flirch on the phone:
hic hoc reticula sim spim spittle el hoc ad nauseum cornicopia dum cluck ach...   
+ What Vic says to Y.Y. Flirch in a letter: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Another time when Flirch called 4 times: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Greetings to Vic from H. K. Fleeber's letter:
in hoc declorum in hoc bleech corancopia est bun ig non referendum pump spim spittle ad nauseum volum lazy hobo hic riffy sic episdermus yokel agricula omus yella soc sim sis sit sil sip brenny hoc alorum mis yop desum aqui ad librus yiks

+ Ending salutation from H.K. Fleeber's letter:
stobo philip en scratchin hunk non fobo bum fishin foosh grabage illiad ad zuzig bum bim bill bid bik

LODGE SONGS
I'm a happy, happy man
I love my brotherhood.  
I help The poor and feeble, 
and I'm always kind and good.  
The Sacred Stars of The Milky Way is the lodge I like to serve. 
It's regulations are mighty fine, from them I will not swerve.
So come, my brothers, let us dance.  
Let's clap our hands with glee.  
For The Sacred Stars of the Milky Way we'll always…
The Last Drop Of Blood in My Body is Yours, Sweet Lodge (sung to the tune of "I'll Steer My Ship To Heaven While The Joyous Wavelets Play" or maybe "I'll Guide My Bark To Heaven an' Go Swiftly On My Way."
Jolly lads, quick come to me; 
a story I will tell about the Sacred Stars Of The Milky Way, 
the organization we love so well.  
‘Twas founded in 1833 by six wise men so true.  
Their names were Howard Conk, J.N. Dupe, L.W. Rotmyer, Anderson...
I Wear My Insignia On My Watch-Fob an' It's Symbol in My Heart (sung to the tune of Marching Through the Forge or Marching Through Georgia)

I'd Love To Have A Dollar For Every Good Wish I Have For You, Sweet Lodge (to the tune of Uncle, Dear Uncle, Stop Beating Me Now)

Would that these pale hands chrysanthemums might gather
Would that these pale hands chrysanthemums might gather,
Would that o'er green fields these slender feet might glide;
The moon is a crystal ball up there,
You my darling are young and fair,
Would that these pale hands...
EXPELLED FROM THE LODGE

+ The speech Vic was to use to expel Hank Gutstop from the lodge for not paying his dues (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

From Volume 7: Frater salute! In hoc agricola sim spittle dum cluck apidivourous nonu ickle hunk. Sogo filia dum caesar copley cornucopeia est.  Cicero tussit elmo cokkies dim wopple speesh.  Eemo disourim et fossae librum fora slamp.  Nebrault huius caress spreel.  Digitas ex-bombo dumb solo feenum chunk.  Bootle peullorum non spooner bobble yiz.

+ When Sweet Corn McBlock was kicked out of the lodge, a different speech was used (edited): {{{HEAR}}} 

Oh despicable fragment of hateful scum, you are a loathesome reptile! Your glittering sword I snatch, oh miserable wretch! I sunder this standing blade, oh stumbling pig! Miserable wretch, I chastise you! Miserable wretch, sob and weep! Miserable wretch, tear your hair! Miserable wretch, scream and shriek! - Lodge volume 7, page 112

EXPULSION OF BIG DIPPER
This can only be done by another Big Dipper:
KNOWN LOCAL 'SKY BROTHERS'
KNOWN OUT-OF-TOWN 'SKY BROTHERS'
OTHER LODGE CHAPTERS
HONORARY LODGE MEMBERS
Pom Pom Cordova (Belmont Beach, Bahamas) 
    THE [originial] ALL-STAR MARCHING TEAM 
    Victor Gook - City, Illinois
    Robert Hink - Hoopston, Illionois
    Slobert Hink - Hoopston, Illinois
    H.K. Fleeber - Grovelman, South Carolina
    O.X. Bellyman - Detroit Michigan
    Y.Y. Flirch - Lester, Nebraska 
    Harry Fie - Lester, Nebraska
    J.J.J.J. Stunbolt - Lester, Nebraska
    I. Edson Box - Lester, Nebraska
    Homer U. McDancey - East Brain, Oregon
    THE NEW ALL-STAR MARCHING TEAM
    Victor Gook - City, Illinois
    Robert Hink - Hoopston, Illionois
    Slobert Hink - Hoopston, Illinois
    H.K. Fleeber - Grovelman, South Carolina
    O.X. Bellyman - Detroit Michigan
    Y.Y. Flirch - Lester, Nebraska 
    J.J.J.J. Stunbolt - Lester, Nebraska
    Homer U. McDancey - East Brain, Oregon 
    Hermie Wermie - unknown
    E. Tyson Stoogie - unknown (later drummed out of lodge)
    {possibly} E.W. Smith - Emporia, Kansas
    KNOWN 'EXALTED LITTLE DIPPERS' AND THEIR SHORT BIOS

    + Jay Ralph Gunsport of Sleever, Montana, Delarious(?) Diachon(?) Chapter (A crackshot with the bow and arrow.)
    + Wilber Atwood of Tucks Creek, Ohio (A contortionist who, when feeling right, can put one foot in his mouth and the other on the nape of his neck.)
    + H.L. Fly of Weekly, Arizona (Has a paper route.)
    + Harry O. Fox of East Filchman, Minnesota (He can pick up and toss his mother to the roof of his residence, a height of 18 feet!)
    + Arlo Skeely of Hook, Alabama (He's a poet whose poems have apparently become a part of the local jail's punishment as prisoners were required to learn 50 verses of, "Teacher, I've Been a Bad, Bad Boy.")

    LODGE LIBRARY

    The library consists of 14 volumes. The lodge sells the entire set for $75.00.

    Volume IV, page 126 - contains the following poem:

    Volume VI is about deportment and procedure.

    Volume VII includes the topic, Official Greetings For a Visiting Lodge Dignitary.  Volume 7 is used in most every episode where the library is consulted.

    Volume VII { Presumably } includes the ritual for a non-member wearing lodge regalia; it involves the perpetrator digging a hole and burying a fish.

    Volume VII, page 118 includes the topic: Exalted Big Dipper Day

    It reads as follows:
    The Exalted Big Dipper will seat himself at a small table at precisely 11 o'clock. The room will be illuminated by green lights so arranged that large shadows are cast on the wall opposite of the Exalted Big Dipper.
    The Exalted Big Dipper's wife will enter bare footed, carrying a plate of thin soup. This she will place on the table, bow twice to the Big Dipper without speaking, turn around and tip-toe away.

    The Exalted Big Dipper's wife's face will be free of talcum powder and lip red. She will see that hands are clean and her hair neatly combed. If convenient, station several people in an adjoining room and instruct them to maintain a low moaning and wailing in the course of the meal.

    After the Exalted Big Dipper has finished the thin soup he will be served a small bunch of white grapes. The white grapes will be followed by one ounce of rare beef, ungarnished by salt, pepper or any other condiments.
    The beef will be followed by a single lettuce leaf and a sip of cold water.
    At the conclusion of the meal, the Exalted Big Dipper will remain seated and ponder for two hours.

    Our founder, R.J. Konk, instituted this procedure on the 19th day of December, 1881. He was in Topeka, Kansas at the time and in an address he delivered to the fire department in that city he said, "in hoc ey de burg gee spim spittle dum cluck no but am vip ad nauseum spinch gonk cornacopia division..." 
    Volume VII, page 163: I beat my breast in agony, I clutch my throat with rage, The wild beasts of jungle, Are not one half as dangerous as I, The frosty moon shines...

    Volume VII, page 166: E.W. Smith's biography:  Before reforming, Sky Brother Smith was associated with the Mankel Brother's Big-top Freak and Novelty Show, where he acted as roustabout and general utility man.  Because of his quick temper - which he has never been able to control - Sky Brother Smith underwent a personal terrible encounter with his employer, the latter spending eight months in the hospital.  After a year's stay at a penal farm in Arkansas, where Sky Brother Smith faced a false mayhem charge, he joined the pugilistic arena, successfully knocking out such well-known figures such as Horrible Howard Higginson, Iron-man Lester Noovel, Stone-head Williams the Eskimo welter-weight, and Fried-egg Chalker, now dead.  Sky Brother Smith's fierce and sudden temper brought him further trouble when he attacked, single-handed, six Detroit truck drivers and managed to injure them all so severely they were...

    Volume IX, page 47: Sweetheart, your eyes are like limpid pools seen by moonlight in the deep forest; your soft hands put to shame the velvet petals of the hyasinth...

    Unknown book: Ritual Conduct of Lodge Meetings
    Hurry to the plashing fountain, maidens. Dabble your pale feet in the crystal water an' weave garlands of roses. The heroes have returned from the fray an' will shortly squat before the camp-fire to pow-wow an' parley."
     
    Ah, here they are now! An' our Exalted Little Dipper leads them. Sky-brother Franklin Gutstop, take your station. Instruct your followers to throw their tired bodies on the grass an' rest. Sing a song of courage..
    A Manual for Wives' of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way is a book that Vic does not own but it available from the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way.  It was written by Homer U. McDancey.  (Follow the link to find book specifics.)
    OFFICIAL REGALIA
    Vic's official lodge regalia includes: boots, sword (he'll be buried with it), pants, tunic, 2 robes and plumme' hat.

    Vic has many lodge magazines, certificates, crowns, scepters and halos.

    He also bought a cannon.

    He wanted a telescope and astronomy books from the lodge catalog.
    MISC. ITEMS
    Vic owns a large portrait of R.J. Konk.  The eyes light up and it's apparent that Vic bought it for the purpose of hanging it on the wall but it is among the stuff that Sade tries to store in a stall provided by Mr. Gumpox.
    LODGE MAGAZINES/CATALOG
    The lodge has a quarterly magazine. It's official name is The Sacred Stars Searchlight, although it is rarely ever called this; it's generally known as the "lodge magazine".

    art by Dave Duckert
    It's possible, although quite unlikely, that there are two different lodge magazines, with one definitely being called The Sacred Stars Searchlight.

    The lodge also has a catalog of items, this catalog was mentioned at least two different times. [1] [2]

    The lodge also had catalogs which sported unusual items, such as the aforementioned telescope; but it also was known to carry (seemingly hideous) lodge dinnerware.
    Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)