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Showing posts with label Third Lieutenant Stanley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Third Lieutenant Stanley. Show all posts

41-12-09 Hank Appointed Lodge's Best-Looking Man

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
Vic has news to tell that he knows will bring Sade's scoffing and ridicule: Hank Gutstop has been elected as the lodge's Best-looking Man!

SEE THE SCRIPT (part 1) (part 2)
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There's really not much to this script; it's just an excuse to put down the lodge and Gutstop. Sade doesn't think Hank is good-looking at all, and the ritualistic way in which he was chosen (blonde boy pulls his name out of a hat) is just a reminder of just how silly the lodge can be.

Trivia:

+ Rush mentions that he was reading about counterfeiting parachute jumpers in his Third Lieutenant Stanley book.

+ Gutstop was at the Lazy Hours Pool Hall playing bottle-pool.

+ Rush is bursting with knowledge again about the various idioms his parents are dishing out.  However, they could care less.  Rush seems to know his idiom sources quite well.

+ Instead of borrowing funds from Vic to buy new clothes, this time Hank just wants to borrow Vic's nice clothes (but not his socks).

+ Cuddy Jackson was mentioned. A member of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way lodge. He stands four feet, eleven inches tall, is bald and has no teeth.

+ This episode aired two days after the attack on Pearl Harbor.  You wonder what kind of mood the listener may have been in and if this episode made them happy or if they even cared?

40-02-08 Captured by Third Lieutenant Stanley

While Rush is away, both Vic and Sade find themselves caught up in reading copies of Third Lieutenant Stanley adventure books.
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Vic is reading Third Lieutenant Stanley Amid the Frozen Alps or Mystery of the Poisoned Moccasin.

Sade is reading Third Lieutenant Stanley's Big Affair, a book Rush borrowed from Blue Tooth Johnson.

The title is one I have given the episode purely for identification purposes.

[The gist of this episode was revealed in the book, Vic and Sade on the Radio: A Cultural History of Paul Rhymer's Daytime Series]

44-07-21 Sade and the Revolver

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE
A neighbor gives an old, beat-up revolver to Russell, but before he can play kid games with it, Sade finds it and demands Vic get rid of it, as she is afraid of guns.

However, before the gun is disposed of, Russell takes a couple of stabs at telling stories about how he would react if he were a gunslinger. 

SEE THE SCRIPT (part 1) (part 2)
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This could very well be the best script (at the very least, one of the best) of the Russell-era.

It's not only Russell who doesn't want to get rid of the gun, but you can also tell that Vic wouldn't mind having it stay around either.

However, in every situation in the Vic and Sade series where a gun is involved, Sade becomes worried:
Vic says Russell was "childish" for wanting to play with guns, yet Vic is the "childish" one in the other two episodes listed above (and we know he was extremely childish in the Dottie's New Dress episode.)

In 1944 there was still a world war going on.   We know that not only were men sacrificing their lives for their countries but men, women and children were being senselessly brutalized, bullied, hung, burned, poisoned and otherwise killed for things such as their ethnicity.  And certainly, guns were the number one weapon used in the killing of 60+ million people during World War II.

Vic and Sade writer, Paul Rhymer
There were probably friends of Sade and Vic who had sons that had lost a life in Europe or perhaps Japan when this episode aired - and certainly those listening on their radios knew of someone (probably a handful) who had lost a son during this terrible time in world history.

Today, people are still being innocently slaughtered by crazies with rifles or other handguns and it doesn't even take a war for it to happen.  It happens all too frequently.

Sarah Cole examines the subject of Sade Gook and guns here.

Trivia:

* Mis' Donahue comes to the backdoor in this episode to return the Gook's meat grinder which she had obviously borrowed.  In episode 43-11-29 A Garbage Wagon Pass, Willis Rohrback came over to borrow same.  The Gooks must have a great grinder!

41-07-10 Bring Your Figures

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
Muddled shopping money?  No big deal.  Stuff happens.

We know to expect this whenever Sade and 'Lady' (Ruthie Stembottom) get together downtown.  So what if the gals can't keep track of the tiny amounts of money that they are allowed?  So what if there's a few dollars missing?  It's not like they are buying anything important.

As a matter of fact, the ladies consume the same kinds of worthless junk every week.  It's money to blow and really, is of no consequence to the bread winners...

That's the way the story is supposed to go, anyway.  Vic, an accountant by trade, is fine with the mixed-up money.  I think he kind of gets a kick out of the way the ladies foul it all up; it's entertainment to him.  But Fred, Ruthie's blue collar husband, has a bad reaction this time around to the unaccounted-for spondulix.

Who's responsible?  No one knows (and no one will ever know) but Fred aims to find out!  He's even bought those stereotypical green visor caps for all four people (it's use is to lessen eyestrain) as he intends to have a pow-wow with the Gooks and go step-by-step through the muddled transactions! By golly, he wants some answers to that missing penny and the other misplaced monies.

But wait; one big 'ole ish and kybosh on that!

SEE THE SCRIPT (part 1) (part 2) (part 3)
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This script is surprisingly good and it reads fresh. I use the word 'surprisingly' because the notes I had previously were terribly short.  It was as if this episode had been overlooked.  Rhymer provides strong voices to each character.  It feels as if he were completely in his prime here.  This script could very well be in the top 50 I have seen. 

Trivia:

+ Mr. & Mrs. Coomer live on Madison Street.

+ Sade bought white thread #50 (she always buys that color/#) and the girls bought gum drops, weighed themselves, had ice cream...

+ The fact that Vic could care less about a few dollars (remember, this was still ''The Great Depression'') might provide circumstantial proof that Vic was better off financially than perhaps we - or Sade - know. 

+ The concept of the green visors is clever and totally Rhymeresque; there is always pleasure reading/hearing the way he took something that was already absurd and made it even more so.  Can you imagine Sade and Ruthie wearing green visors, trying to figure out where they lost seven cents?

+ While he was there and at-the-ready to contribute to the conversation with appropriate anecdotes, Rush gets totally ignored in this episode.  You'd figure an ordinary American citizen...

+ This episode ends with the ''stuff happens'' phrase.

44-07-25 Mr. Donahue Hates Vacations

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND DAVID WHITEHOUSE

Sade has come home after having a talk with Mis' Donahue. She says Mr. Donahue bemoans the fact that is vacation is near. He hates taking a vacation because his railroad schedule (awake at night and sleeping in the daytime) turns his life upside down when he tries to stay awake in the day and sleep at night.
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Not a memorable episode but still, not bad Vic and Sade fare.

Trivia:

+ Russell reads extensively from an unnamed Third Lieutenant Stanley book (more than two and half minutes of airtime.) Other than the mushy stuff with Lady Margaret, the Third Lieutenant has his hands full with two mountain lions, a lizard and head-hunting counterfeiters. His weapon arsenal is impressive: two automatic revolvers, a dagger, a pound of dynamite, a pile of poison, a length of stout twine, a sealed drum of deadly gas, a flask of acid, a basket of [unintelligible], a jar containing a black widow spider and a leather case full of straight-edged razors. (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

+ In the book, Lady Margaret has a solid gold, diamond-studded bottle of smelling salts.

+ Sade says Mr. Donahue hates leisure and prefers to be busy with his hands.

+ Mis' Donahue's parents live in Pontiac, Illinois.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

44-07-20 Uncle Fletcher Talks Business

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN, DAVID WHITEHOUSE AND CLARENCE HARTZELL
Uncle Fletcher, who is staying in Hank Gutstop's Bridal Suit(e) hotel room and caring for his pets, comes over to the Gook house to be big, tell how 'busy' he is and 'talk business' with Vic, who does his best to humor him.

SCRIPT (part 1) (part 2) (part 3)
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One of the funnier moments in this episode is Uncle Fletcher fearing that 'talking business' will puzzle or bewilder Sade and Russell: {{{HEAR}}}

Trivia:

+ Russell reads from a 3rd Lieutenant Stanley book (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

+ When Russell hangs up Uncle Fletcher's hat, Uncle Fletcher didn't have a copper (penny) to give him but cajoles a "thank you" out of him anyway!

+ Hank Gutstop's bridal suite is also known as #1A Mezzanine.

+  From notes left by Barbabra Schwarz, it seems there was a part of the original script that was taken out, probably because of time constraints.

This part is where Fletcher is talking to Russell about his schoolwork:
UNCLE FLETCHER: Cipher out your arithmetic lessons to the best of your ability, solve the various examples correctly on your slate, and the professor won't find it necessary to cuff, cane, or flog you.
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42-02-24 Rawhide Shoestrings

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY,  BERNARDINE FLYNN, BILL IDELSON AND CLARENCE HARTZELL

Uncle Fletcher: Don't forget... you're dealing with rawhide!

Uncle Fletcher is still visiting the Gooks and is ready to go to bed...but once upstairs, he realizes his new rawhide shoestrings are each in a terrible knot and he can't get his shoes off.

The family is tired but can't retire for the evening until they help Uncle Fletcher remove his shoes and he objects to cutting the laces.
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It's really hard to understand Uncle Fletcher and Vic in this episode. This is an episode that only the very diehard fan will even attempt to listen to as the sound is horrible and it's not even the most horrible sound found in a Vic and Sade episode.

Trivia:

+ At the beginning of the episode, Vic is away playing indoor horseshoes.

+ Rush is reading from a Third Lieutenant Stanley novel; the plot seems to revolve around counterfeiting voice teachers!

+ The rawhide shoestrings that Uncle Fletcher has in his shoes cost him 15 cents for the pair.

+ Uncle Fletcher tells the story of Hobie Rankers from Sycamore Creek who went into the copper-plated mattress business and then disappeared in the state of Oklahoma for 11 years. He invented iron shoestrings and provided every customer a hammer and an anvil. He estimated it would take the average person an hour and a quarter to lace up their iron shoestrings.

+ Uncle Fletcher also tells the story of Atterberry Hippins from Belvidere who went into the salted house paint business. Moved to Fargo (South Dakota!) and married Melvarina Adkins, who was 16 years old. She wore a size 2 shoe on her left foot and a size 6 ½ on the other foot. She would always have to buy 2 pair of shoes and throw away a left-footed shoe and a right-footed shoe.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

42-08-xx Washrag Collection

STARRING: BILL IDELSON AND CLARENCE HARTZELL

Uncle Fletcher brings over a sampling of his landlady Mis' Keller's washrag collection to show Sade. But Sade's over visiting Mis' Donahue, so Uncle Fletcher goes through the very odd collection with Rush.
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One of the better episodes with some memorable stories; most all of the ridiculous stories however revolve around washrags rather than people.
art by Dave Duckert

Trivia:

+ Rush is reading from a Third Lieutenant Stanley book but doesn't read any outloud nor does he mention any of the adventures.

+ Uncle Fletcher again confuses Rush with Sade. That's happened at least three times in the series.

+ Uncle Fletcher is going to go over to the courthouse later in the evening. He says Hank Gutstop, Y.I.I.Y. Skeeber and Rishigan Fishigan all hang around the courthouse in the evenings.

To those who don't know, hanging around the courthouse used to be a popular occurrence, especially in the Midwest. Often older gentleman would play checkers, chess or just hang around doing nothing.

+ Uncle Fletcher claims one of the washrags is shammy skin but that it was gotten from a shammy fruit bush!

+ One of the washrags has writing on it that says, "Knitted to the memory of Raymond Belcher Beirman, who expired when an 18 ton railroad bridge fell on him, December 19, 1887."

Neither Mis' Keller nor Uncle Fletcher knew who he was; the washrag was found in a streetcar in Rockford, Illinois years ago.

+ Another of the washrags says "Eastern, Western, Joliette Railroads Please put back on rack."

+ There is a strange washrag with pockets in it.  Five pockets with labels on each telling what they are for: bills, change, keys, tobcco and insurance policies.

The washrag was invented by Caldwell Kline in Buffalo, New Jersey during the Spanish-American War. He could light his cigar by rubbing his feet together.

+ There's a washrag that says, "Property of the Terre Haute, Centralia, Gillespie and Southern Illinois Electric Lines - When through using, kindly return to porter."

+ A reversible washrag that says "George" on one side and "Edna" on the inside. George and Edna Gatsby were from Dixon and later Boston, Connecticut and Little Rock, Oklahoma.

+ A washrag that says, "Property of the Chicago, Downer's Grove, Sycamore and Skulking Indian Diseal Powered Shuttle System - Toss in wicker basket after using."

+ A washrag that turned to stone. {{{HEAR}}}

+ A washrag commemorating the 97th birthday of Albert Broker.

+ A washrag that turned to putty.

+ A washrag made out of heavy material for those living in cold climates and another washrag, this made of light material, for those living in warm climates.

+ A washrag shaped like a hyena.

+ A washrag shaped like a vinegar bottle.

+ Washrag that read, "Property of the Dubuque, Quincey, Davenport and East Moline Railroads - We want this back!"

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

41-12-xx Left and Right-handed Stacey Yopp

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic relays to the family the fact that Stacey Yopp has had his motor skills reverse on him some 60 or 70 times in life and will often suddenly change from being right-handed to left-handed or vice versa.  On top of that, he loses the predominant motor skills in the hand he was using before.

Yopp wants to see a brain surgeon and it just so happens a noted Montana physician is is town. But Yopp's living quarters (the Bright Kentucky Hotel) is too loud and busy for him to properly have a doctor visit him there.

Yopp asks Vic if he can use his house to conduct the doctor appointment.
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It seems plausible that writer Paul Rhymer took the premise of this episode from a tiny tidbit in 41-12-08 The Bottom Buffet Drawer, where Uncle Fletcher mentions Rupert J. L. Dunsquat from Dixon; was right-handed up to age 29 then turned left-handed overnight.

I don't know why exactly, but if there was a town character that had trouble staying one-handed or the other, it does seem *to me* that person would be Stacey Yopp. The name itself seems to imply the unique frailness of never knowing which-handed you are.

Rhymer's script is very unique but not that funny; however, it's one of those things that once you've hear it, you don't seem to forget it.

Trivia:

+ Rush reads from an unnamed Third Lieutenant Stanley book, this one about "counterfeiting coffee ground fortune tellers."

+ Fowler D. Sockers is the doctor that Yopp wants to consult. He's from Montana and is a brain surgeon, lecturer and polo player. He's in town to deliver a speech to the Better Businessman's Club at the Butler House Hotel.

+ Yopp is now a candidate for membership in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

41-10-14 Vic Declines Cornet Lessons

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
Vic gave Alf Musherton 19-20 hours of special tutoring at the Butler House Hotel as Musherton is a candidate for initiation in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way.

Musherton is so pleased and grateful to Vic that he cries and insists on giving Vic or any Vic's relatives or acquaintances 20 free cornet lessons. Vic doesn't want the lessons and neither does Rush. The rest of the episode is spent trying to come up for candidates to take the free lessons.

Eventually he decides to give Hank Gutstop a quarter if he'll take the first lesson.
MIS' CROWE SAYS:

This is a classic episode: absurd Rhymerian concept, colorful side characters, and Vic, Sade, and Rush fulfilling their favored roles (Vic thoughtful, Sade skeptical and scoffing, and Rush sitting back and delighting in the absurdity of it all). It’s also yet another episode in which men who cry are prominently featured – Vic’s friend Alf Musherton is a cryer, and Rush suggests that he might feel a kinship with Mr. Sludge because of it.

This episode presents an interesting commentary on the act of gift-giving. While we think of a gift giving as a one-way transaction, in which the giver altruistically gives something to the recipient and the recipient can choose to do what he will with it. However, the act of giving a gift isn’t a totally altruistic one, especially when it’s a gift given as reciprocity like Alf’s here. The gift giver gets the relief of a lifted obligation, the knowledge that he has reciprocated the past kindness of the recipient. This aspect of gift-giving places certain obligations on the recipient of the gift: it’s churlish to turn the gift down, because then you’re not allowing the person to feel that lifted obligation. Alf’s gift therefore becomes a bit of a white elephant as Vic has to put time and energy into coming up with a way to use it. A little ironic, since the gift was meant to thank Vic for his time and energy in tutoring Alf in the first place!
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GARRY MOTTER SAYS:
This was the first Vic & Sade episode I ever heard.  I had heard of  the show, so when it came on the radio I gave it a listen.  It starts out slowly as they often do, and I feared the worst.  But by the time it was over I was enchanted.  I think it was the discussion of Mr. Sludge and Alf alternately yipping and sobbing that hooked me.  I "yipped" on the cornet myself at Rush's age, so this gave me a laugh. 
This is not one of the laugh-out-loud hilarious episodes, but is amusing in a surreal sort of way that appeals to me.  Still, one can't help bust out at Rush's anecdote about Mr. Richards having to call the plumber. 
Sade seems to think it ridiculous that a garbage man might want to play the cornet, yet the teacher himself is a sewage disposal worker.  One thing that stands out is that Vic is seen here as sensible and calm in a bizarre situation.  He deals with it thoughtfully and decisively, while Sade is panicked at the idea of a cornet in the house.  Too often he is humiliated by the end, but here he is in firm command.
SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Garry Motter)
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I think you will find that this episode is one of the most rewarding of the lot. If you haven't heard this one before, you should be extremely happy with the ending.

Trivia:

+ Rush wants to read aloud from a Third Lieutenant Stanley book that deals with coat and hat thieves in the Sahara Desert, but no one wants to hear it.

+ In a previous episode, Vic was to fake playing the cornet in a band concert. A year and a half later, you wonder why he would turn down the free lessons?

+ Some people who Vic, Rush and Sade suggested may want to learn the cornet: Mr. Gumpox, Uncle Fletcher and Mr. Sludge.

+ Sade refers to playing the cornet as "yipping." According to the Etymological Dictionary, "yip" means to "chirp like a bird."

+ Rush tells an Uncle Fletcher-type story about Mr. Richards, who used to play the cornet: {{{HEAR}}}

+ Hank Gutstop is known to hang around the Lazy Hours Pool Hall until closing time.

+ Rush knows the telephone number of the Lazy Hours Pool Hall (#8764-J.) However, in an earlier episode, Rush said, "[I] don’t know any pool hall telephone numbers. Mom’d throw me over the people’s bank building".

+ When Vic calls Hank, he's told that Hank Gutstop is playing bottle pool.

+ This is the first episode where the term, "stuff happens" is used.  Wikipedia credits this variant of the term "sh*t happens" to writer Paul Rhymer and Vic and Sade.  (((HEAR)))

+ The last few episodes have all been more than 10 minutes long; a sign that less commercial time was going into the program and probably a sign of the popularity of Vic and Sade.

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

41-06-30 Vic Writes Biography

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic finds out he will be included in the book, Who's Who in Kitchenware and is having trouble coming up with a catchy biography about himself.
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Vic comes up with a very odd bio for himself and I dare say, Rush's contribution may be even more odd.

Trivia:

+ Y.I.I.Y. Skeeber was mentioned for the first time.

+ Stacey Yopp was mentioned for the first time. He's a barber at the Butler House Hotel. He went on a six week fishing trip to Crowler, Michigan. His cousin is Alfred Juggler of New Auburn, Wisconsin and has an Uncle Harry Soon who lives in West Phatt, Kentucky.

+ Vic was over in Charlie Razorscum's backyard, discussing things.

+ In the front of every Third Lieutenant Stanley book, it says: "Third Lieutenant Stanley is a shining example for every American boy to follow."

+ Neither Ike Kneesuffer or Steve Chestbutter is to have their bio included in the Who's Who in Kitchenware book.

+ F. Dodson Gitch was the first Superintendent of Schools the town ever had. William W. Gullbizer was the first mayor. Gullbizer was born in West Yakbone, Missouri. Hunting and fishing were his early enthusiams as well as the study of American History, arithmetic and grammar. He loved all outdoor sports.

+ Vic weighs 165 pounds and stands 5 foot 9 and 3/4ths inches.

Rush comes up with a possible entry for Vic's bio: {{{HEAR}}}

As does Vic: {{{HEAR}}}

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

40-12-17 A Bijou Lifetime Pass

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON


Rush has the opportunity to buy a lifetime pass to the Bijou theater. But will Sade allow him to spend money from his savings account to buy it?
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Rush has a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity.

What I like about this one is how Rush seems to have absolutely no ambition to move out of his small town or change his lifestyle at all, as he calculates that he will continue to go to the Bijou twice a week for the rest of his adult life. These days, everyone who grows up in a small town generates grand plans for fleeing it at about Rush’s age, so it’s refreshing to encounter someone who means to stay put. Rush also has no way of predicting the rise of television in the next fifty years and the movie theater’s slow slide into obsolescence. Of course, if the Bijou manages to stay in business, the concurrent inflation in the price of movie tickets will make his lifetime pass even more profitable.

The thing is, the uncertainty of the future aside, Rush’s pitch is pretty good! The pass will pay for itself in two years. Surely his theater-going habits won’t change that much in the next two years. Rush could agree to put twenty-five cents in a jar to go back into his bank account every time he goes to the movies and by the end of the two years, he’d have an extra two bucks to go into his college fund. His pitch would have worked on me, is all I’m saying.

Then again, it does sound a little too good to be true. Perhaps Sade suspects Leland Richards of being a snake oil salesman? 
SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)
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Intermingled with Rush pleading his case so that he can buy the pass, is talk of baboons - yes, baboons.

Sade isn't very educated but she is by no means dumb. Whenever Vic or Rush are up to something, her instinct tells her something is up. As time goes on through the series, Rush seems to become more and more like Vic. When Sade inquires about whatever they are up to, they both act nearly the same.

Trivia:
+ A D. Hoggell is the custodian of the Zoo.

+ Rush mentions he has a new 3rd Lieutenant Stanley book he got from Russell Duncan but he doesn't give the title, nor does he read from it.

+ Leland Richards' Uncle Hartley gave him the lifetime Bijou pass, as he is an electrician and was doing work for the theater and part of the payment was the pass. This was the first mention of Uncle Hartley.

+ Rush and Sade argue a bit about the $50. Listen carefully and you will hear Sade say, "You have as much chance drawing a big chunk of money out of that bank as you have of sending your underwear to Detroit, Michigan parcel post."

{{{HEAR}}}

Sade's first reaction to Rush spending $50: {{{HEAR}}}

Hear the Vic and Sadecast about this episode


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40-10-xx Shake Hands With R.J. Konk

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Vic has received a letter from lodge headquarters inviting him to be in a composite photograph with R.J. Konk. This of course, sets off Sade as she believes the lodge is just out for Vic's money.
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Ish! Another money scheme by the lodge or something valuable for Vic? Either way, Vic will probably get the portrait done and it will be displayed proudly on the Gook buffet.

Trivia:

+ Rush begins the episode by reading from a Third Lieutenant Stanley story book. The story this time is about "counterfeiting natives" and "counterfeiting fisherman." See the Third  Lieutenant Stanley section for more.

+ According to Vic, R.J. Konk died in 1920.

+ Rush once again tries to tell the Uncle Strap story about escorting his lady friend to Peoria for the purposes of enjoying a fish dinner.

+ The composite photo will cost Vic $10.

Rush boils it all down: {{{HEAR}}}

Here's what Sade thinks about the whole thing (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

Hear the Vic and Sadecast for this episode

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

40-07-13 Short Bio of Little Dipper

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
Vic has been asked by lodge headquarters to write a small biography about Hank Gutstop, who is a Little Dipper in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way lodge. The problem is, Vic can think of nothing that Hank excels in, except singing, and the lodge says singing qualities are not allowed in the bio.  Go figure.

Finally, Vic think he will simply write, "Hank Gutstop is healthy" - a short but sweet bio. But -- Hank winds up ill at the end of the episode.
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic practices minimalism in his biography of the Exalted Little Dipper.
As usual, Vic is trying to do right by Hank — give him a little boost in life. Paint him in a flattering light for the readers of the Lodge Magazine. But it’s hard to write a compelling biography of someone whose biggest claim to fame — other than being a singer, which has been barred by Headquarters as a theme — is that he’s just an all-around nice fella. Perhaps Vic could have said something about Hank’s innovation. Although you couldn’t truthfully call him “hard-working,” he does seem to be quite the “idea man.” Never mind that the ideas are often bad and impractical. The readers of the Lodge Magazine don’t need to know that.
I enjoy the colorful story about Black Hawk coining the word “Ouch” that Vic manufactures from whole cloth in this episode:
VIC: Black Hawk was standin’ on the side of the mountain gazin’ down into the valley. He was lookin’ for enemy Chippewas. An enemy Chippewa snuck up behind him with a hatchet. The hatchet flashed through the air and Black Hawk’s skull was cracked open. “Ouch,” said Black Hawk calmly. “Ouch.” Just that one word. And now all over the world whenever a human bein’ is injured he says “Ouch.
Since Black Hawk’s tribe, the Sauk, lived in what is now the Midwest, I’m not sure where he found a mountain to stand on. And the Chippewa (Ojibwe) and Black Hawk were both allied with Britain against the United States in the War of 1812 (ah, the war that public school history classes forgot…). Good thing for Vic that Sade and Rush aren’t very good fact checkers.

Black Hawk is a prominent figure in the history of the Illinois/Iowa area, so it’s no surprise that Rhymer selected him as the subject of Vic’s questionable history lesson. But since Black Hawk came from my neck of the woods, and was laid to rest very close to my hometown, I’d be remiss if I didn’t link to some of his real, beautiful and bittersweet words at the end of his life. "I liked my towns, my cornfields and the home of my people. I fought for it. It is now yours. Keep it as we did— it will produce you good crops."  (“Ouch” is not among them…but who knows?)
SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)
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We probably all know someone like Hank. I know I do. Usually people like Hank can at least excel at some physical prowess; the man I know who is a bit like Hank can do very little except he is regularly taking care of his lawn; seems he mows his yard maybe twice a week and does it better than anyone I've ever known.

A funny episode; especially some of the feats of the other Little Dippers that Vic mentions.

Vic and Sade fan Dave Duckert wrote a short bio about Hank Gutstop:

Hank has applied his many talents to a variety of industries, including business development and entertainment. He specializes in in the financial area of monetary debt structuring. In his spare time he pursues indoor sports and spends countless hours perfecting his skills in this area. If there is one thing that can be said about Hank, it is what all his employers have said, “You’ll be lucky to get Hank to work for you!” 
Trivia:

+ At the beginning of the program, the announcer says Sade and Rush are reading sections of the newspaper but once the action begins, Rush is actually reading a Third Lieutenant Stanley adventure.

+ In this episode, Hank Gutstop is 39 years old.

+ Sade saw Hank sleeping outside on the Illinois-Central platform this very day. [You wonder why Sade would be at or near the train station, as nothing else was mentioned about it...]

+ Sade says Charlie Razorscum and Mr. Sludge use the Royal Throne 25 Cent barbershop.

+ Although I have heard many stories about the cast laughing during the scenes, I hadn't been aware of any in the surviving episodes. But we get a taste of it in this one as Vic chuckles a bit during one of his lines: {{{HEAR}}}

A try at finding a Hank attribute: {{{HEAR}}}

And another stab: {{{HEAR}}}

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

40-07-01 Ruthie Has Secrets

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
Sade: Ice cream at bedtime gives nightmares.

Fred and Ruthie Stembottom have just left after a game of "500."  Both Vic and Sade noticed there was something different about the way Ruthie acted.

Sade says Ruthie has secrets.  Vic is most intrigued.  The biggest secret?  Ruthie wears glasses.
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Sade senses that Ruthie is keeping something from her.
Basically, Ruthie, at thirty-seven, is having a midlife crisis. She’s ashamed of getting older, which, as Vic says, is nothing to be ashamed of. But Sade has often described Ruthie as childish, and it’s hard for someone in a state of arrested development to age gracefully. Poor kid, indeed.

The funniest thing about this episode is Sade’s tone of voice. She sounds like Ruthie’s secret is that she’s covered up either a brutal double-murder or a terminal disease. Maybe it’s this somber tone that cued Vic not to joke around with Sade too much on this. As Sade says, it’s the kind of thing Vic usually finds foolish, but he listens carefully and sympathetically. Vic must have learned that you don’t mess with Sade when she’s using what I think of as the “Bess’ letter from 1937" voice.
SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)
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Although this episode probably seems frivolous to most men, there is quite a bit of humor involved in this if you look at it from a woman's point of view. The fact that Sade notices these small things and goes over them like a detective is funny in itself.

Another thing that is humorous is both how sensitive women are to little things like wearing glasses or changing shoe sizes - where a man wouldn't think twice about it and wouldn't care. You think men sit around and talk about the "embarrassment" of having to wear glasses or getting new shoes in a larger size?

There's another joke in the episode that I'll bet you overlooked. When Rush goes to see if there is ice cream left over, Sade cautions him that ice cream late at night gives nightmares. Well, Rush finds no ice cream (Fred has eaten it all.) Finally bored with the conversation about the glasses (who wouldn't be?) he falls asleep on the couch. Vic awakens him with a tirade of horrible thoughts: "Fire! Murder! Cyclone! Earthquake!"

Who needs late-night ice cream to have nightmares with that going on!

Trivia:

+ Some clues that gave away Ruthie's secret to Sade:
  • Got her spades mixed up with clubs and her hearts with diamonds - about nine times.
  • Said, "I guess I need glasses" and then laughed funny and shrill.
  • Had a white ridge across her nose, where she had been wearing powder to disguise the red ridge across her nose.
+ In this episode, Vic says Ruthie is 37 years old.

+ Sade also discerned that Ruthie (who has tiny feet) takes a larger shoe size.

+ In an interview she did in 1965, actress Bernadine Flynn (Sade) recalls this episode (or one very much like it) in which Rhymer took the cast's idiosyncrasies and made a script out of it: {{{HEAR}}}

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40-03-19 Bess Letter; Grocery List on Top

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON

Sade practically forces the boys to listen to a letter her sister Bess has written. They seem to know every line by heart - until Bess throws them curve balls by repeating things and confusing Rush with other kinfolk.

This episode is reminiscent of 39-xx-xx Letter To Walter where Sade gets mad at the boys for not wanting to write Bess' husband Walter.
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Sade reads a letter from Aunt Bess.
Not a whole lot happens in this episode, but I’m always amused by the little secret we find out about Vic: he actually likes Third Lieutenant Stanley novels. He asks to see Rush’s newest Clinton Stanley volume and Rush refuses to give it to him, claiming he’d start to read it and get absorbed and Rush wouldn’t get it back all night. I get the feeling Rush speaks from past experience. I also get the feeling that they wouldn’t have had this conversation had Sade been in the room (Sade has always made it clear that she thinks Third Lieutenant Stanley is the stupidest trash she’s ever heard). It’s a secret just between Rush and Vic.
Another interesting nugget in this episode is this story Bess tells about an unconventional marriage arrangement:
SADE: […] “Well, Sadie, Ida Hoogle married George Crossfeeple after all these years. The weddin’ was last Tuesday. I went with Mrs. Johnson. Walter couldn’t leave the shop. They done kind of a queer thing that was wrote up in the Freeport paper. Instead of Ida changin’ her name to Crossfeeple, George changed his name to Hoogle.” [giggles] That is queer.
VIC: The husband took the wife’s name instead of the other way ‘round?
SADE: Yeah.
VIC: [chuckles]
SADE: “They even changed the sign on the meat market. Instead of Crossfeeple’s Butcher Shop, it is now Hoogle’s Butcher Shop. Lotsa people in Carberry don’t like it a bit. How is Vic? […]
I’ve commented before on Paul Rhymer’s treatment of women in this show, which seems ahead of its time in some ways. This is a good example. The husband taking the wife’s name is a rare arrangement even today — more often, the wife keeps her maiden name or the couple hyphenates the name. It would have been almost unheard of in 1940. But it’s certainly a fair arrangement — if one person has to change his/her name, the couple should at least be able to choose which name to take. Perhaps George and Ida are early feminists. And what makes this seemingly throwaway story especially compelling is the main characters’ reactions to it. Bess comments that the arrangement is “queer” and that a lot of people in Carberry were unhappy about it, but offers no judgment or opinion of her own — she simply presents the news to Sade as a disinterested party. And Vic and Sade’s response? Slight amusement, sure, but not even a hint of disapproval or judgment. It’s unusual to them, but their minds seem, at least, to be open to it. I think this says a lot about Vic and Sade as characters, and about Paul Rhymer as a writer.
 SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)
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This may be wrong and might should go unsaid but I think Bess and her husband Walter are both a little nuts.

This episode is neatly balanced between Sade's reading of the letter and Rush's reading of Third Lieutenant Stanley's book. Rush believes this is the best book in the series and who can argue - as at one point of the story, Rush reads about clothes being made out of money (and stamps!) {{{HEAR}}}

To top off this episode, it ends in a Monty Python sort a way, something that happens occasionally I've noticed in the surviving episodes; both Paul Rhymer and the Python crew have been noted as comedy geniuses - but have they ever been compared in print?

Trivia:

+ The Third Lieutenant Stanley book Rush reads from has been borrowed from Blue Tooth Johnson and is entitled: Third Lieutenant Stanley in the United States or Outwitting the New York Stock Market Plungers.

+ Ridiculousness: at one point Rush reads where Third Lieutenant Stanley gave his sweetheart a bicycle made out of solid gold.

+ Absent-mided Bess had written a grocery list on top of the letter she had mailed to Sade. The items on the list were apples, matches, potatoes, starch and salt.

+ Esther and Muddy are mentioned for the first time. They live in Milwaukee.
THIRD LIEUTENANT STANLEY
Often Rush tries to join a conversation, only to be cut off or considered rude at his interruption. Another problem for Rush is in the way that Sade accuses him of never finishing anything, not realizing that she has once again cut him off, and prevented him from reading from his book.

One thing boys love is comic books, and the kind of pulp fiction that came from this era of history.


Before Sade took over the episode with her letter reading, Rush was actually encouraged by Vic to read from his Third Lieutenant Stanley book. The borrowed book being so interesting that Rush feared that Vic might take it away for himself to read.


Personally, even though he sometimes scoffs at the pulp fiction, I think Vic might enjoy the hero on some deep down level. When it comes to being faced with another letter reading by Sade, I’m sure he’d rather hear about Third Lieutenant Stanley. He’s just to afraid to stand up to Sade. The fight wouldn’t be worth it.

In this installment of Third Lieutenant Stanley, the hero is as impressively tough as ever, even more so in the opinion of Rush. Thord Lieutenant Stanley is stylish, tosses money around like it's nothing. He gives his countess girlfriend a dress made of money, with jewelry made of silver dollars, and a solid gold bicycle. Not a lot of swashbuckling action, but the kind of extravagance designed to excite impressionable minds, without questioning the feasibility of the extreme exploits.


This is one of the more lengthy readings from the world of Third Lieutenant Stanley. If the crazy and absurd happeneings at the house halfway up the next block might be considered normal, the extreme world of Third Lieutenant Stanley is just the universe for kids like Rush to escape into. - KEITH HELTSLEY@ Retro Radio Podcast
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40-01-22 R. J. Konk's Improved Portrait

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 
Sade is busted. She's hidden Vic's mail from the headquarters of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way. Hidden it to stop Vic from spending another $50.00.

Vic is none-too-pleased to find that his wife has basically stolen from him and then was secretive about it.

Upon opening the mail (which Sade had already opened!) Vic finds an offer to buy yet another portrait of lodge founder, R.J. Konk. - but this one is a bit different. It's lips draw back and it "smiles."
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic receives an offer to buy a new portrait of R.J. Konk with an interesting new feature.

Paul Rhymer was always going one-up on his craziness. Previously, Vic owned a portrait of R.J. Konk where his eyes are replaced by electric lights. This is already absurd and just a little creepy — not an object I’d want to run into while rummaging around in a dark attic. But it wasn’t enough. Rhymer thought, “How can I improve on this? How can I elevate this from absurd to nightmarish?” The result sounds like something out of Eraserhead. No matter how many times I hear this episode, I cannot listen to Sade lackadaisically read the phrase “science has developed a rubberoid substance that is hardy, flexible, and the exact color of human flesh” without laughing like a maniac.
Sade is so disturbed at the prospect of having this monstrosity in her house that she hides the Lodge mailing from Vic. However, this time, the offer fails to tempt even the Exalted Big Dipper of the Drowsy Venus Chapter of the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way. I have a feeling the Lodge is going to lose money on this one…
_______  _______  _______
GARRY MOTTER SAYS:
This is to me a quintessential Vic and Sade episode. It is as if they are an island of sanity in world of crazy. Yet the craziness is such an everyday occurrence that they can't help but treat it as natural. In such a world you have to be ever watchful against your family (or yourself) succumbing. Hence Sade's worried tone.

This new portrait of Konk is, to use a modern term, nightmare fuel. It's beyond ridiculous, it's monstrous. I like to imagine the shop where they are manufactured, having five or six in a row, all being tested at the same time. As an engineer who once had a job in the display business, I can easily imagine developing such a thing, to be used in grocery store displays and such like. ("Mom, buy Farina and see how I smile!") But it would be so off-putting to sales it would be gone in a week, I'm sure.

I'm not sure if Vic bought a cannon last week, or a cabinet. To my ear it sounds like "cabinet" but I am not dogmatic on the point. It seems to me that Sade would have a bigger, more negative comment about a cannon, and she definitely mentions 'cabinets' later on. On the other hand, Vic did apparently buy a cannon in another episode.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed from the audio by Garry Motter)
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You'll have to admit, Vic's a sucker for most anything the lodge offers.

And you have to feel a bit sorry for Sade, who has to stoop to underhandedness to see that $50 isn't again wasted on some lodge frivolity in those tough, pre-war days of small town America.

Other than the reading from a Third Lieutenant Stanley book (about the circus and the courageous Lieutenant fighting off four lions)  Rush barely makes a peep.

Trivia:

+ Sade seems to feel so guilty that she passes the time by allowing Rush to read aloud from this Third Lieutenant Stanley book!

+ We find that the week before last, Vic had bought a $50 lodge cannon.

+ Art Bleep is mentioned. He is a lodge member, from the Our Friends in Pacific Chapter, San Francisco. He provides a testimonial about the new, improved portrait.

+ This lodge scheme is so blatant that even Vic calls it. "ridiculous" and says "They've gone just a trifle too far"; that's some harsh criticism from Vic for his beloved lodge.

Sade's reason for opening the letter: {{{HEAR}}}

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39-07-05 Two Tons of Coal #1

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON 
The Donahues have moved and have left two tons of coal in the basement of their old house next door.

Sade thinks Mr. Erickson is coming by everyday and putting a few lumps in his satchel and that the pile is getting smaller everyday.

A McClean County coal mine
In order to get the free coal and to get it before it disappears or Erickson rents the house, Sade suggests the male members of the household go and put on their overalls, get a basket and start removing the coal to the Gook basement.

This does not sit well with Vic or Rush (edited): {{{HEAR}}}

Rush even comes up with the excuse that his "overalls are wrinkled!"

Even though she asked the boys if they had anything planned beforehand (and they replied that they didn't) when the coal moving is brought up, each comes up with an excuse. Rush protests ad nauseum that he is going to the YMCA and watch the fat men play handball (or handmen playing fatball): (edited) {{{HEAR}}}
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Vic and Sade have been given a gift of two tons of coal. Sade thinks that now is the time to go and collect the gift. Vic and Rush disagree.

Sade’s being very shrewd here! As best I can find, the retail price of a ton of coal in 1939 was between 8 and 9 dollars (and rising), and one 1939 dollar is equivalent to $16.64 in 2014. So Sade was looking to get around $18 — or, adjusting for inflation, $283 — worth of free coal, which is nothing to sneeze at! It always strikes me funny how much more frugal and pennywise Sade seems to be than Vic. Since Vic is the one who actually goes out and earns the money — and he’s a professional accountant, to boot — it seems like he’d be the penny-pincher of the duo, but since Sade runs the household and does all the purchasing, she is more aware of how much things cost and how much the family can afford. (And, of course, we all know how conservative Sade is with number estimates — she did once allow three and a half hours for a forty mile drive.)

Vic and Rush try every possible childish excuse to escape from this situation, but Sade’s tricked them into admitting that they don’t have anything planned for the evening, and they’re cornered. Vic also fights back by criticizing every aspect of the task, from Sade’s reasoning (sound) to her methods (market baskets — which also seems reasonable), without offering any better solution himself.

I always chuckle at this part:
SADE: The other reason is I’m pretty sure Mr. Erickson is helpin’ himself to that coal himself. 
VIC: Yeah?
SADE: Yes. I’m pretty sure there’s not a day goes by but what he don’t stop by and get a few chunks and carry ‘em off home in that big satchel of his.
VIC: Rather far-fetched, don’t ya think?
Far-fetched, Vic? Have you met Mr. Erickson?

My only (mild) criticism of Sade here is her repeated needling of Rush for his slip of the tongue — “handmen playing fatball.” The only thing that accomplishes is to annoy him! Sade, you’re already calling the shots here…don’t kick a man while he’s down.

*Why is this episode called “Two Tons of Coal #1”? It is actually part of a five-part saga, the other four recordings having been lost. What happens in the rest of the series will make you send your undershirt to Elkader, Iowa parcel post.

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)
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An episode that floats to the top of my memory when I think of the show, probably because Sade is so set on saving a few dollars on the coal (not that I have any idea how much two tons of coal cost in 1939.)

The whiny, childish protests of Vic and Rush are amusing as are the revelation that Rush likes to watch the fat men play handball at the 'Y.'

Trivia:

+ This is the first audio episode where Rush mentions the pastime of going to the YMCA and watching the fat men play handball.

+ On the phone, Sade jokingly calls Ruthie Stembottom, "Third Lieutenant Stanley."

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39-01-16 Flower Garden Arranger

STARRING: ART VAN HARVEY, BERNARDINE FLYNN AND BILL IDELSON
Sade's excited.  She's been gushed on with compliments because of the Mis' Harris.  She dreams of doing it for all of her friends and becoming a millionaire.
cute" flower garden arrangement she did for

Each of the three characters take turns noting others complimenting them this same day. {{{HEAR}}} Rush's "compliment" is the most amusing.

What the episode truly seems to be about however, is Rush's negligence in doing his homework. He's in the doghouse the whole episode, until the last minute or so.
MIS' CROWE SAYS:
Sade tells Vic about her plan to make a million dollars arranging other ladies’ flower gardens for them.

Sade is really endearing in this one. She’s glowing with pride at being recognized for something she does well, and she’s entertaining the notion of earning some money for herself — a novel idea for a housewife in the 1930s. Maybe she’s never really considered the fact that she has any skill that she could use to make money, and the thought is intriguing to her. I think Vic can tell that she’s only humoring herself. After all, we know that she would never dream of asking her friends for money for a favor like this. Sade is generous to a fault with her favors, her (and other people’s) possessions, and her money. She enjoys tallying up the number of people who owe her money all over town, but dismisses it all with a breezy “Oh, she’ll pay” — she never shows any intention to collect on her debts. (Of course, she’s much less generous when it comes to Vic’s friend Hank Gutstop…but that’s a special case.)  She frequently gets herself into trouble because she is unable to say “no” to local Christmas card salesmen, ladies in the Thimble Club, pushy characters like Mis’ Appelrot, and other friends and neighbors in need. Furthermore, looking “pushy” herself is something she dreads and avoids whenever possible (this makes her a typical small-town Midwesterner — I grew up in rural Iowa and I never realized how odious any kind of confrontation was to me until I went out into the world and started interacting with the coastals). I think what will actually happen is that Sade will happily use her free time to draw up landscaping plans for every single one of her friends and she won’t even consider accepting money for it. These are friends, after all.

The subplot in this episode is poor Rush getting the cold shoulder from his parents for neglecting his algebra homework. Vic and Sade have high expectations for their son, and they can be tough on him sometimes. Rush’s hangdog attitude throughout the episode is both funny and touching. So is the reassurance Sade gives him at the end of the episode, allowing for his joyous reentry into the conversation.
This is notably the first mention of Third Lieutenant Clinton Stanley in the surviving episodes. Book title: “Third Lieutenant Clinton Stanley Among the Man-Eating Sharks, or Defying the Finny Fiends of the Caspian Sea.”  
SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)
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This is what I'd call a "typical" Vic and Sade episode. Not the funniest thing you've ever heard but funny enough to make you want to listen more.

The underlying theme of Rush not doing his homework is far funnier than the gardening plot (no pun intended.)

Trivia:

Sade
+ Blue Tooth Johnson bought a book this day: "36 Ways to Make a Million Dollars".

+ What Vic said he'd buy with a million dollars: motorcycle, checkered suit and diamond stick pin.  Rush said he would buy a 28 cylinder automobile.

+ Rush's school teacher, Mis' Monroe, is mentioned for the first time in the surviving audio.

+ Heinie Call is mentioned for the first time in the surviving audio.

+ Mr. Ruebush (Vic's boss) is mentioned for the first time in the surviving audio.

+ Third Lieutenant Stanley is mentioned for the first time in the surviving audio.
IS SADE REALLY A GREAT FLOWER GARDEN ARRANGER?
The [flower] arrangement seems to only be some written down plans for a garden that Sade showed. There wasn't a lot of description as to what it was. Mostly that Mis' Harris was earnest in saying that it was cute and clever. Knowing how much weight that Sade places on social standing, and that Mis' Harris is the town's most prominent person in society, any compliment would definitely send Sade to cloud nine.   - Keith @ Retro Radio Podcast
{{{HEAR}}} Rush only has to do a short assignment for school. A very short assignment...

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