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40-07-13 Short Bio of Little Dipper

Vic has been asked by lodge headquarters to write a small biography about Hank Gutstop, who is a Little Dipper in the Sacred Stars of the Milky Way lodge. The problem is, Vic can think of nothing that Hank excels in, except singing, and the lodge says singing qualities are not allowed in the bio.  Go figure.

Finally, Vic think he will simply write, "Hank Gutstop is healthy" - a short but sweet bio. But -- Hank winds up ill at the end of the episode.
Vic practices minimalism in his biography of the Exalted Little Dipper.
As usual, Vic is trying to do right by Hank — give him a little boost in life. Paint him in a flattering light for the readers of the Lodge Magazine. But it’s hard to write a compelling biography of someone whose biggest claim to fame — other than being a singer, which has been barred by Headquarters as a theme — is that he’s just an all-around nice fella. Perhaps Vic could have said something about Hank’s innovation. Although you couldn’t truthfully call him “hard-working,” he does seem to be quite the “idea man.” Never mind that the ideas are often bad and impractical. The readers of the Lodge Magazine don’t need to know that.
I enjoy the colorful story about Black Hawk coining the word “Ouch” that Vic manufactures from whole cloth in this episode:
VIC: Black Hawk was standin’ on the side of the mountain gazin’ down into the valley. He was lookin’ for enemy Chippewas. An enemy Chippewa snuck up behind him with a hatchet. The hatchet flashed through the air and Black Hawk’s skull was cracked open. “Ouch,” said Black Hawk calmly. “Ouch.” Just that one word. And now all over the world whenever a human bein’ is injured he says “Ouch.
Since Black Hawk’s tribe, the Sauk, lived in what is now the Midwest, I’m not sure where he found a mountain to stand on. And the Chippewa (Ojibwe) and Black Hawk were both allied with Britain against the United States in the War of 1812 (ah, the war that public school history classes forgot…). Good thing for Vic that Sade and Rush aren’t very good fact checkers.

Black Hawk is a prominent figure in the history of the Illinois/Iowa area, so it’s no surprise that Rhymer selected him as the subject of Vic’s questionable history lesson. But since Black Hawk came from my neck of the woods, and was laid to rest very close to my hometown, I’d be remiss if I didn’t link to some of his real, beautiful and bittersweet words at the end of his life. "I liked my towns, my cornfields and the home of my people. I fought for it. It is now yours. Keep it as we did— it will produce you good crops."  (“Ouch” is not among them…but who knows?)
SEE THE SCRIPT (transcribed by Lydia Crowe)
We probably all know someone like Hank. I know I do. Usually people like Hank can at least excel at some physical prowess; the man I know who is a bit like Hank can do very little except he is regularly taking care of his lawn; seems he mows his yard maybe twice a week and does it better than anyone I've ever known.

A funny episode; especially some of the feats of the other Little Dippers that Vic mentions.

Vic and Sade fan Dave Duckert wrote a short bio about Hank Gutstop:

Hank has applied his many talents to a variety of industries, including business development and entertainment. He specializes in in the financial area of monetary debt structuring. In his spare time he pursues indoor sports and spends countless hours perfecting his skills in this area. If there is one thing that can be said about Hank, it is what all his employers have said, “You’ll be lucky to get Hank to work for you!” 

+ At the beginning of the program, the announcer says Sade and Rush are reading sections of the newspaper but once the action begins, Rush is actually reading a Third Lieutenant Stanley adventure.

+ In this episode, Hank Gutstop is 39 years old.

+ Sade saw Hank sleeping outside on the Illinois-Central platform this very day. [You wonder why Sade would be at or near the train station, as nothing else was mentioned about it...]

+ Sade says Charlie Razorscum and Mr. Sludge use the Royal Throne 25 Cent barbershop.

+ Although I have heard many stories about the cast laughing during the scenes, I hadn't been aware of any in the surviving episodes. But we get a taste of it in this one as Vic chuckles a bit during one of his lines: {{{HEAR}}}

A try at finding a Hank attribute: {{{HEAR}}}

And another stab: {{{HEAR}}}

Download the complete commercial-free, sound-improved episode!

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