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39-09-29 Two Tons of Coal #5

Before reading this, even if you have heard/read it before, I strongly suggest you check out 39-07-05 Two Tons of Coal #1, 39-08-16 Two Tons of Coal #2 , 39-08-25 Two Tons of Coal #3 and 39-08-29 Two Tons of Coal #4
  • Vic and Rush are about to start a game of cards, but Sade returns home from shopping and announces that  Mr. and Mis' Donahue are going to move back to Mulberry Street to the same house they used to live in.  Vic and Rush are stunned by this news.
  • They each explode with, "I'm not gonna move that coal again!"  
  • Sade thinks they should care about their good neighbors moving away, not about moving a little coal.
  • Vic and Rush firmly state they're through carrying coal.
  • Sade alters her statement to allow that the Donahues are only thinking about moving.  Vic tells her to write herself a note that he'll run away to Alaska before he moves any more coal.  Sade: (laughing) "I haven't said anything about coal."  Vic: "You've exhibited wise restraint.  Keep up the good work.  Continue not to say anything about coal."
  • Rush asks if the Donahues intend to continually move back and forth between Virginia Avenue and Mulberry Street for the rest of their lives.
  • Vic suggests "a distinct insane note in these proceedings.  He thinks they'd be better off living in a dray wagon."
  • Sade points out all the positives leading the Donahues to consider the move again.  Vic is still incensed about the coal.  
  • Sade can't see the need to move the coal again since it's already in the Gooks' cellar. Rush wonders where this rumor began.  Sade knows only that Mis' Trogle heard it from Miss Leepman.
  • Vic sarcastically suggests that maybe another farewell party will be in order.
  • Sade goes off to fix supper, and Vic and Rush pick up the cards, amazed at the unexpected unpleasant turns life suddenly presents. - compiled by Barbara Schwarz, edited by Jimbo Mason
Imagine it being 1939 and you are faithfully listening to Vic and Sade.  It's the end of September and by now you have heard Two Tons of Coal, parts 1-4, which began way back on July 5th.

You turn on the radio to hear the show and to your surprise, you realize once again, the crazy Donahues could be moving again and oh, that coal!

We only have one audio file to listen to concerning this story.  But the one file we have shows just how much the boys don't want to move the coal - and that was just the first episode.  Imagine the thespian howls used by Art Van Harvey and young Billy Idelson to suggest to the audience the outright silliness, pain and frustration in once again being faced with moving two tons of coal from basement to basement.

I am pleased as a peach to present these parts of scripts to you but I don't think for one minute that they in any way express what Vic and Rush lamented to the probable-howling audience. In my imagination, parts 4 and 5 of this story might be some of the funniest radio we have never heard.


  1. I...can't....stop....laughing! Sure wish we had the whole series of recordings. Agreed, among the best.

  2. my favorite running themes from this show....

    vic's multiple attempts to acquire a wide brimmed hat
    fred stembottom's schemes to snare vic into house/auto repairs