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41-05-16 Uncle Fletcher's Door Stop Plan

Uncle Fletcher has an idea: use 4 foot pieces of railroad track as doorstops.

Though they will weigh 440 pounds each, they will be covered with velvet and have an embroidered saying on it:
I'm only a piece of heavy steel,
A product of the forge.
I'll hold your door either open or closed,
Step up and call me 'George.'
Uncle Fletcher has an idea for a unique one-of-a-kind gift and Sade wants to put a stop to it.
I love this episode, especially Sade’s horror, and Rush’s/Vic’s/Paul Rhymer’s bizarre idea of what constitutes a bright saying that might be embroidered on a pillow. It makes sense that Fletcher would have this notion, since he used to be a railroad worker and still spends quite a lot of time hanging around railroad stations. I wonder if he had permission to make off with these railroad tracks in the first place. 

I don’t have much else to say about this episode except that if I knew how to get four-foot lengths of railroad tracks, this would be a great handmade gag gift for some people in my family. I wonder if my Mazda can carry 440 pounds…

SEE THE SCRIPT (transcription by Lydia Crowe)
Though Sade worries that such a gift would create a problem for the four families he plans on distributing the rails to, Vic seems to think it won't be a problem because there will be no way of him ever moving the 4 rails (a combined weight of 1760 pounds).

Though spoken of a lot in this episode, Uncle Fletcher isn't in the episode at all!


 + Rush mentions bright sayings found on pillows:
  • Welcome to Galena, Illinois 
  • Conductor, get off of my foot! 
  • Stop making them goo-goo eyes 
  • Every cloud has a silver lining 
  • Ouch! Your dog-gone dog bit me on the leg again!
+ Vic mentions other witty sayings that perhaps could be embroidered on the door stops:
    Your cousin is a halfwit,
    Your brother is a slob.
    I think I'll quit the section gang
    And get another job. 
    The night is dark and stormy,
    The rain is comin' down.
    I'll button up my....
    + Rush quotes Uncle Fletcher: {{{HEAR}}}

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